According to Brittany, I am a not so great gift giver. In high school she got some really stupid things, but I can blame my mom for that because as a holiday or birthday would near, she knew I had no idea what I was supposed to get Britt, so she would head to the store for me and come home with stuff a girl would like, if she was nine.
The Winnie the Pooh poster and gold Mickey Mouse pen set the tone for a decade of horrible presents.
The low point was when Brittany had a watch engraved for me, and in return I gave her the paperwork on the tiger I had adopted in her name from a South American rainforest.
Every November, I start asking her what she wants for Christmas. This is how that goes:
from Andy Gibbons agibbons1@gmail.com
to date What do you want for Christmas this year?
from to date I told you, I like to be surprised, stop asking.
from to date You hate everything I buy you- just tell me so you don’t get pissed at me when you open it.
from to date You should know what I like by now Andy, we’ve been together forever. Did I mention I just ordered your gift and it’s so amazing I just hope it clears customs in time!
from to date Do you still like Tinkerbell?
from to date Nov 19, 2010 at 3:37 PM I think you are confusing me with our 1 year old daughter.
from to date Bobcat Goldthwait is coming to the Funny Bone, didn’t you like him, he sounds familiar?
from to date Wow, I loved Bobcat Goldthwait in Hot to Trot! Are you getting me a time machine to travel back to 1988, because that would be the best gift ever!
from to Britt <brittanymarie81@gmail.com date Nov 19, 2010 at 4:02 PM I give up.
from to date If you buy me a star, we’re not making out anymore.
I have no idea what to get my wife.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
You could check out the Curvy Girl Guide gift giving guides (cough cough cough) OR you could set up a monthly housekeeper OR you could go on Etsy and get her some awesome necklaces or earrings.
I’m not going to suggest anything because I would hate to be wrong, but I have to say that this is the best idea any man has ever had. Ever.
Or hack into her Pinterest account. Maybe she’s found some awesome things there.
YES! I guess I can’t speak for her … but I pulled half my Christmas ideas for my mom off of previous pins!
But tip: make sure it’s on a good board. If you buy her something from a board called, “WTF” or something like that … it may actually be worse than the winnie the pooh poster.
This is awesome! My husband once got me windshield wiper blades for Christmas and he couldn’t understand why I wasn’t excited because they were “really good blades!” He got better though…last year, he got me 2 gift certificates to a spa. One was made out to me and the other made out to “Nicki’s Friend” so I could treat a friend to a day at the spa with me!
Ask her to make a wish list on Amazon. Although knowing her she’ll fill it with zany items.
Gift cards to spas are not so bad I don’t think…
I like you.
If I had to buy Brittany a gift, I would study her “Lazy Sunday” posts.
I would check out her Pinterest account for ideas.
I would suggest checking out her Pinterest account as well, especially the Things I Covet group!
This bag for sure!
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=14149587&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump
All of the above.
AND – you can never go wrong with jewelry. Never ever ever!
The post on the ring you got her for her birthday? Pretty sure I could hear her swooning all the way up here in Canada.
You may not know what to get your wife for Christmas but I feel like I just read an email back forth between me and my husband.
Are Brittany and I sister wives?
She wants wide calf boots.
just dont call them that! call them ummmmm,for your super sexy legs boots!
Yeah, what amanda said….because if you actually call them wide-calf boots, she may use them to stomp on your testicles and that would have been some wasted trips to the urologist, huh?
My husband and I met in high school and once (in 1995) I gave him something amazing and thoughtful and he gave me 2 tapes. NOT mixed tapes that he carefully crafted for me, but just two tapes that he’d copied of 2 regular albums. He still gets reminded of that. And let’s not even talk about all the “gift certificates” I get that have clearly been created and printed off our home computer so that it’s super obvious that he didn’t take the time to purchase a REAL gift card in person. It’s like when I was 10 and I would hand write “coupons” for my parents for Christmas saying I’d do the dishes or clean my room. Except he’s 35.
We know someone who just goes to Nordstroms and buys his wife the most hideous (and most expensive) designer shoes ever. He tries to top himself each year with how ugly of a pair he can find for the most money. Then she gets to return them and spend the money on clothes/jewelry/bags/makeup at Nordstroms.
Last year I got a poorly disguised sex toy that I opened unwittingly in front of my adult stepchildren, their significant others, and our two younger kids. My husband tried to pass it off as something for my nightly leg cramps (I don’t have any.) but I am sure they knew better. It was awkward and embarrassing and I am still miffed, although he has no idea. Don’t do sex toys as Christmas gifts to be opened in front of family. Especially if it is something she doesn’t want anyway. There’s my advice, Andy.
PS. It is still in the box. I get angry everytime I look at it..
Guess I should just throw it out.
Non horse drawing lessons?
Love it!!!!!
Get her that other puppy!
A weekend away just you and her…and a large bottle of tequila… ok maybe that is my wish list.
The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead – Amazon.
Glee: Volume 7 (releases Dec 6 on itunes)
The rest is up to you.
However, next year, plan better. For example, tickets to the 2012 Glee Tour.
Boots, *cough, cough* Lane Bryant Boots, *cough*
You guys still make out? How awesome is THAT!
OKOKOKOK…OMG enough….Look first of all I am pretty sure what Andy has going on isn’t a cry for help it’s more of a long silent scream..kinda like those ones you have in your nightmare that no one hears as you run through quick sand….
Secondly,…Andy if you are brave enough …contact me. If there is one thing I figured out how to do was get women gifts they will appreciate…however…whateverthehellyoudo DO NOT DO THIS!
http://youtu.be/eyduncFpzl4
oh and nothing Muskrat themed either!
Dude. She loves mustaches, Bill Murray, and you. Oh. And yoga pants.
Jewelry…
You are a way better husband than mine. I actually put my best friend’s # in his cell with the title “Call for Present Ideas!”
Andy, does this mean you’re going to email me on Christmas Eve asking for gift ideas? I’ll start a list.
All the funny t-shirts she posts on her website. And DIAMONDS.
I have this EXACT convo with my husband, I agree with everyone else, check her “Lazy Sunday” posts or Pintrest
You bought her a car for her birthday. You do okay.