I never understood when people would say…we just aren’t financially ready to have kids.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally fine, you know, to set your own benchmarks to surpass before parenthood, but mine were never financial.
Personally, my time line was based on how low my boobs were currently sitting and how elastic my tummy was.
Looking in the mirror, it appears I still failed. I think my peak pregnancy body recovery age was 11. Ahhhh hindsight.
Regardless, thanks to insurance, the act of actually pushing out and subsequent owning of a baby was relatively low. Sure, there were ad ons; designer clothes, organic formula, fancy monitors, futuristic one hand closing strollers, moonroofs…but the basics were cheap. Clean onsie. Diaper. Boob.
I was surprised just how thrifty this whole baby thing was. I mean, aren’t they adorable? I might just have ten more of them and they can just raise themselves and we can all learn an instrument and travel around the country singing in clothes we made from our curtains
Then two years ago, Jude started preschool. Our local schools are…not good. (This is why people buy houses based on school districts and not on things like refrigerators in the garage with built in beer taps. Lesson learned.) So, we opted for the private Catholic school I attended. A year later, Wyatt joined him.
This fall Jude starts kindergarten at full tuition rates and a bonus nut kick of uniforms.
I went to the store on Sunday, and so far, they have gone through 2 gallons of milk, a box of graham crackers, 3 rolls of toilet paper, a block of cheese, 2 bottles of wine (ok, that might have been mostly me), a bag of mini carrots, a box of fruit roll-ups (also me), and we’re on our second loaf of wheat bread.
And, do you have any idea how expensive it is to have an old man named Bart snake underwear and giant unwrapped maxi pads out of your drain?
I’m pretty sure Oprah isn’t financially ready to have kids.
Best thing we ever did was buy a 20′ or so long snake. I can’t tell you how many times that has saved us from calling a plumber.
Oh, I know. I know!
I was just talking about this with the husband last night. We’ve decided to cut nearly all of the kids activities this school year. We are going with rec soccer and swim lessons, that’s it. I’m not driving all around town this year dropping cash at every dance studio, gymnastics, martial arts place. It was fine when just one kid was old enough to enjoy fun programs but times three and my kids are gonna spend a lot of time playing outside in their tire swing for the next 10 years.
three rolls of toilet paper in four days? SHEESH
But babies are just so cute and snuggly and perfect.
That’s it. I’m getting my husband drunk tonight
Pro-Tip: Never try and teach them to wipe themselves, no matter how sick you are of doing it, because it totally gross you out and you don’t feel like washing you hands AGAIN.
It’s just not worth it.
–>We have one going into college, another starting junior year and my baby will start Pre-K at the Catholic school in less than a month. Everyone will be at my house next week and I now remember why my Mom would only let us have two meatballs as children and we never ate out.
I have five. Three of them are teenagers. One of them drives and one is about to. The “little two” are 11 and 10. I’m officially broke until my fifties.
Two pairs of shoes every fall for each kid alone costs me hundreds of dollars, and that’s just the shoes! I miss when they were babies and it was all so much cheaper.
This is why we also go through a lot of wine.
Pretty soon I’ll have to start buying the cheap stuff in the box. Wine in a box says class, right?
Ha! It never ever gets cheaper. Allow me to fast forward you to my life. 3 teens.
Shoes are over $120 each and each kid needs at least 2 pairs. Football registration was $550 not to mention guitar lessons and other various activities.
I used to love them little OshKosh outfits but now I’d kill for me sons to wear anything from WalMart. Even their underwear needs to be designer.
Don’t get me started on my grocery bill for 3 teen sons. Their too cool to take lunches to school so they either starve or I cave to get them money daily. Oh yeah, speaking of school. Starting to price out college and university. *gulp*
Ah, all this while trying to support my book addiction. LOL
MichelleKCanada
http://anotherlookbookreviews.blogspot.com/
I totally get you. I have two teenage sons. And if it’s not them – it’s their friends! Annnnnd, they are ALL football players. They grow kids big these days. First – I’m 5’1. Imagine having 5 teen boys standing around in your kitchen all over 6 feet tall (one is 6’7!) eating your food. And BOY can they eat! Our grocery bill is insane. Just that bill alone is about $800 per month. Then add in sports fees, school fees, school clothes and yes, the shoes, cars, etc. it’s just insane. We finally started telling them that we would pay $100 for shoes and anything over that they had to contribute. I can’t even imagine how much more expensive girls would be. My boys are enough.
They were so much cheaper when they were little. And cuter. And obedient. And less mouthy.
Can I rewind about 15 years please?
There is a plus side though. Driving home a bunch of freakin huge, macho football player boys from practice and having them all try to hit the high notes while singing Bohemian Rhapsody in my car has to be one of the funniest (and most fun) things I’ve experienced in a while.
And I get to teach them about important bands. Like Aerosmith. And Bon Jovi.
The downside is when that same huge son turns to you in tears when his girlfriend breaks up with him, crying that he doesn’t know what he did wrong….you will learn what it is to want to rip a teenage girls heart out.
(sorry for the double post. Just had to add that LOL)
I’ve found that poor public schools paired with healthy doses of pbs are fairly equal to private school…probably. Checks in the mail pbs!
this is going to make me cry.
Try being infertile. Sex is basically the ONLY thing that doesn’t cost anything (except if you are like Elliot Spitzer or Hugh Hefner..but I’m not) and I’ve found a way to make boutique babies! That is why I’m betting on stealing one from the next unmarried Palin to get knocked up. Just gonna fly up to Alas-ka (that’s how she says it, right?), befriend Willow, and then take that little sucker before anyone notices. Bonus if I can use frequent flier miles, right?
I hear ya. I never thought Id not have kids, Im just starting my first round of IVF and let me tell you, there is nothing romantic, sexy, fun or inexpensive about it. Ive spent the last 2 months crying because they want you to buy a package, your percentage of it actually working is small and then what happens? You have spent all your money for nothing?
Id give my eyeteeth for some of these peoples problems.
Jeanette…it’s not a contest.
Heather , you are right it isn’t. And I’m really surprised that’s what you got from my post.
I’m no expert, but my guess is, you won’t even HAVE to be all sneaky about it. Sarah might pay YOU to take Willow’s baby, especially if it comes out looking liberal or like a vegetarian.
Plus, as a bonus, you can name it something that doesn’t sound like a part on that old timey brush thing people used to clean chimneys with.
LOL. I know. But if it’s a girl I’m going from Tramp, to go with Trigg and Track.
Look what you have done! I am going to spend the whole rest of my day trying to think of words that start with “T,” that would in someway emulate a rustic object or hunting device.
Tent…Temptress? Tactile? Tadpole? Soon we will have enough for an entire Duggar family. Can you imagine? Jude, Wyatt, Gigi and Taco bell. Lol.
You KNOW I hear you.
As I am currently writing out checks for $15,000 for each of my three kids to go to Hebrew school…
I’m thinking next year that they can go to public school and we’ll just park them in front of an endless loop of Fiddler on the Roof and The Ten Commandments.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I am totally Jewish then because I love those movies and can recite Fiddler by heart!
Blessedly our public schools are decent because the options are costly & limited to under grade 8. But we have braces in the near future ($5000-8000) & no dental insurance to offset even the cost of xrays.
The grocery cost is just killing me.
i only have one! :p
but seriously that kid can house some cheese & popsicles. she’s a beast.
Just consider yourself lucky. I can think of several financial reasons to wait on having kids, including the three-year period where my husband and I were both either unemployed or under-employed, and without health insurance. And contrary to popular belief (you would not believe the number of people who suggested this) we did not qualify for any programs resulting in the American taxpayer footing the bill.
Also, saving up for fertility treatments or adoption. So kids cost a lot once you have them- at least you got them for free/a couple of co-pays (also, bonus, not affecting your decision on how many to have).
seriously, what’s with all the competition? Not cool.
Heather, I dont think you calling everyone’s response whose circumstances are not the same as yours “competing” is fair.
Not everyone is as blessed as you or Brittany or anyone else that commented here, your lack of empathy is kind of startling. When I read what you took away from my response, I admit my feelings were hurt. Call it what you will, I sincerely dont think anyone meant to “compete”. Maybe I’m too thin skinned, but as someone who hasn’t walked in my shoes, I think your responses have been less than understanding, or kind.
I leave to shave my legs in the sink for two seconds….ok I also ate a Crunch bar.
Jeanette and anyone else who perhaps read this as a thoughtless complaint about children, please no that was so not my intention.
I count myself extremely lucky to have three children who are, to date, relatively unscathed save for an illness and random gaping wound.
I cannot for second pretend to know what you, or anyone else for that matter, is going through, so I do apologize if in any way, you took this as some sort of slam or brag, because that was not the purpose at all.
I am merely realizing that I am going to have to rob a bank or become a call girl in order to effectively cloth or feed my kids.
Which is an enormous problem since I don’t believe in guns and I’m really bad at hand jobs.
Well first of all, you don’t know my situation. And second, when you say stuff like, “I’d give my eyeteeth for some of these people’s problems” it sounds like you’re saying your problems are worse than other people’s, and that is what I meant by competition. Everyone has their own stuff.
Every time I watch 16 and Pregnant I end up yelling at the screen, “Quit bitching about formula and whip out your boob! It’s free milk!”. Not that they listen. One day….
yes. this!
We are 12 months in to paying for 2 daycare/preschool costs and holy shit, even though both of our salaries far outshine those costs (i.e. staying home is not an option) it’s PAINFUL. I look at our take home and think we should be rolling in cash then I remember that one paycheck every month goes to tuition. By the time they are in school (public, thank god) the daycare costs will equal a 4 year ivy league tuition (each). I keep thinking that when the younger hits K we’ll be rich, but somehow I doubt that’s how it works.
Not to mention that my 1 year old goes through a GALLON of milk a week. Kids, man!
We’ve had to pull a toilet a time or two with our crew.
The first was when our oldest was 2 and decided to flush a Duplo/Lego/Megablock/whatever down the can.
Just chucked it right in there to see where it would go. Unfortunately, his block aim was better than his urine aim at the time.
Shut the Front Door but you are beyond hilarious! My daughter has been in daycare since she was 3 months old as my husband and I both have to work and this September she starts Pre-K in Catholic School. Oh my sugar pants but I feel like I work just to pay for Daycare and soon Catholic School as if it’s a monthly mortgage payment which at this rate, is pretty much hitting it on the nail!
Everything is so expensive but there isn’t a day that goes by that I am not without my sweet fix (in the form of bakery/chocolate/ice cream items, that is), whatever that may be…I MUST HAVE IT! It’s what gets me through the endless days of working and having to pay bills that come in the mail with my name on it.
Amen.
When I’m not feeding my four year old with a shovel, I’m selling my blood plasma on the weekends just to keep the house in groceries.
Pesky child labor laws. These toddlers need jobs.
Yeah, I am totally homeschooling my kid.
CRAP. So you’re telling me that in addition to just having the kids, you actually have to raise them into normal human beings?! CRAP. If and when I have kids, I am coming to you and Heather for mommy classes…
The day’s of 1.99 Happy meals are long over…My principal saw my teenage son for the first time in years, looked up at him and said, “How do you feed that?” With the job you gave me, two after after school jobs and a lion tamer’s whip and a chair :) Add his sister’s upcoming first year of college, and I am buying lottery tickets twice a week!
Ugh, I understand. Not only am I feeding 3 teenage boys, but I also have a preschool girl who likes clothes and shoes. I’m very afraid for when she becomes a teenager. But then again, 3 teenage boys = 1 teenage girl, right?
We have great public schools, however, there us nothing called free education anymore. It cost at least $200 each kid just to get then enrolled in the fall for classes, gym uniforms and whatever else they such to us. Not including new clothes, shoes, supplies and my sanity.
THEN the boys will all be in college at the same time and the thought makes me want to cry. My genius idea if having them all close together just goes to show you how little I knew when I was 20.
And if you couldn’t tell, I was swiping on my phone, so, uh, I suck.
um, yeah, the whole school thing? WHY was this not in some sort of very important memo??
FIRST thing to consider when buying a home.
I am willing to go live in a one bedroom apartment at this point!!
Cause since now I could buy a nice used car every year I put my kids in the Catholic school we pulled them. They lasted in the public school a year before I just felt like the worst mother on the planet for sending them….but now I feel like the worse mother on the planet after two years of home schooling. cough yeah, I said HOME SCHOOL….because now all I want to do is ship them off to boarding school so I could just pee one time in peace.
(long breath in..)
Yep the having the baby part…so easy.So cheap. so Niave. {sigh}
It does always seem like its something, 1st the breast pump and bottles, then the daycare tuition, then diapers, I shudder to think about what I spent on diapers in the almost 8 years I had people in them.
Thankfully everyone thinks Target and Kohls are still cool, and DB does karate but has no desire for the expensive sports like football and hockey.
And my college savings plan is to teach both children how to hustle pool.
First of all, it is never a wise financial decision to have kids! My husband used to pull that when-we-are-able-to-afford-kids-crap. One is NEVER able to afford kids. They suck the life and the pennies right out of you but they are so damn cute (occasionally) that we don’t even realize it is happening until the life and all the pennies are long gone! I can tell you that when they are old enough to work (6ish), it gets better. My daughter has her first job ever now (she is 17) and she BUYS ALL HER OWN CLOTHES!!! Yayyyy! Don’t get me wrong…I will still do the obligatory before school splurge but the in-between stuff is all on her now. My son (he is 13) gets paid by his aunt for babysitting his cousin. He now has food delivered to the house on a daily basis for him (pays for it with his babysitting money) when I am too lazy to make dinner. I feel horrible but he never asks me ahead of time! I find out when he is talking to the delivery guy at the door. He even has the whole tip thing figured out!!
As for toilets….I tried snaking mine when it was clogged. Nothing would work. So my husband bought a new toilet and replaced it. When we got the old toilet out, we found that my son (who was 3 at the time) had wedged the cap to my shaving cream into the hole and it fit so perfectly that there was no way it would ever come out. Yes, the 3 year old single handedly remodeled our bathroom. Well, except he didn’t do any of the work to replace stuff and he didn’t pay for any of it.
Yipes. It’s possible that my “We’re 90% sure we want to keep being rock stars” just went up to 95%. Heh.
All of this is why I am happy to remain childless and shower my niece (and her future siblings) with gifts. My sister and brother-in-law want to have 5 or 6 kids. Since they have taken the “grandchild burden” off of me, I want to do whatever I can to help them out. Plus, I love shopping, and it’s better that someone else benefit from it, otherwise the crap just ends up filling my house.
Seriously, I don’t know how y’all do it.
Holy crap just wait till he’s a teen.
We only shop at American Eagle or Hollister
and my son will only wear boxers from there
gone are the days where I can pick up underwear
from target.
And then there’s the soccer cleats. $ 290.00
yes you heard it right two hundred ninety dollars
insane
something about carbon fiber shoes
who knew.
All I can say is 2 more years and he is on his own
yay!
With 3 teenage girls in the house and a 2 year old, we go through some toilet paper. I think I may have taught them to wipe front to back way to thoroughly or something. I totally get the wiping them no matter how gross it may seem thing because if I let my 2 year old take this task on when I am busy watching my DVR shows or pouring more Moscato, she basically toilet papers the entire bathroom and tries to dump her own mess into the toilet, misses and well you get it….just not a good thing. I don’t know what is going to happen when she starts school. I guess I can plan on the additional expense of new panties because hers wil be all streak marked from her lack of wiping skills. Ugh!! It’s a vicious cycle :)
Yeah, it’s not looking good here either. The public schools are good (as they should be considering my property taxes) but the shoes, grocery bill, school lunches, after school activities and keeping them entertained are killing me. This shit keeps up you’ll find me in Boston’s North End giving hand jobs to creepy old Italian dudes.
All I know is I used to spend way more money on my own clothes before these two tiny people showed up looking so damn cute in Gap Kids.
Holy Hell…. and here I was thinking hubby and I could squeeze out a kid or two in the next couple of years. Now, I’m thinking I’ll wait until we’re independently wealthy….
kids are spoiled now worse then ever, if you can’t afford their designer whatever it is tell them NO
Okay, this post & these comments are freaking hilarious but is everybody for real, for real? My kids are only 6 & 9 but I do a lot of couponing and consignment/craigslist/Sal’s Boutique shopping (and I am picky). We live in a rather upscale area and truthfully I feel like the “‘po people” of the neighborhood (we mow our own lawn, fertilize our own lawn, etc.) but I work really hard (as a stay at home mom) so that it doesn’t show (all the time :) ). We’re fortunate to have a good public school system but yes, it’s summer and they do seem to be emptying the snack cabinet on a daily basis. I try to do my best to use coupons, shop sale cycles, plan meals, and I do a lot of hand-me-downing/borrowing with friends who are in the same position. And believe me I’m not the most efficient, energetic, perfect homemaker mom around. One dance class for her & TKD for my son are stretching my budget right now but I’m making them work because both have some special needs that make these almost necessary. One Cub scout and one soon-to-be Brownie (girl scout) and that’s where the activities stop right now. As they get older they’ll have to learn to make choices. As young as they are I have told them that they are lucky to live in an affluent area (explained in their terms) where they can get a good education and have good experiences but we’re not always going to be able to do what everyone else in town is doing.I explained that Daddy & work hard to give you this life so we all have to compromise on some things (this came after the soon to be 9 year old asked for an I-pod touch for his birthday like his 3rd grade friend has. Ummm, sorry, Mommy still has a flip phone, I don’t think so.). But my kids are not suffering. They both have DS’s (pre-owned), we own a wii (hubby’s Christmas bonus), went to Disney World (Vacation savings by monthly budgeting)…I don’t know…is it just me? Am I taking this too seriously?
I have 2 boys, 9 and 2, and even though the little one wears diapers he’s the cheaper of the two. I keep telling my 9 year old its about time he get off his butt and get a job! He eats us out of house and home and his sports are outrageous. Baseball registration was $90, cleats were $25 a new bat was $70. Just to turn around and start football 3 months later. Football registration was $100 cleats $70, mouth guard, socks, chin strap, and under armor was about $50, and did I mention he’s only 9? WTF? I blame this on my mother because she never encouraged me to participate in extra curricular activities so now my dumb ass over encourages so he doesn’t grow up resenting me. Oh and school starts back next month so there goes another billion dollars on supplies, clothes, shoes and fees. I’m so thankful he isn’t picky about clothing brands yet, only shoes, but he will wear last seasons Nikes from Gabriel Brothers or TJMaxx.
Speaking of school, he goes to a great public school now but our high school is awful so I plan on him attending out catholic high school which the tuition right now is $6700, lord knows what it’ll be like in 4 or 5 years. I sure hope all these expensive sports pay off with a college scholarship because if not he’ll be hitting up an online university for his education!
I think I’m gonna keep the little one in the dark about the joy and comradery (yep sure that’s spelled wrong) of team sports, I can’t afford to do this with him too!
I’m gonna start telling all of my childless friends to stay that way. Being a mother is great but it truly is expensive and no preparation in the world could have been enough.
I’m thankful the couponing websites they help me keep taxables in our house, otherwise I’d be busting out the borax and lye trying to figure out how to make soap and shampoo.