Sick Bed Confessions

It’s a chilly, let’s share stories under a blanket and cry our faces off on Robin Roberts last day, kind of day. Also, I’m sick as hell and I am flipping off that whole starve a cold theory and drowning it in cream filled donuts and chocolate milk. I can’t actually taste anything, but I don’t even care.

So in spirit of that, much like when we spent the day venting all the rage we didn’t have a chance to say out loud, I propose we dig in on the couch in our sweatpants and share stories and confessions today.

I’ll tell you five of mine, and I’m dying to hear yours.

1. After I drop all the kids off at school, I listen and sing along to 90′s Gangster rap in the car on the way home.

2. My biggest self-splurge is on my hair. I go to the salon, alone without kids, once every 3-4 weeks. I use it in place of therapy.

3. I hate The Middle. I keep trying to love it because everyone says it’s hilarious, but I just cannot get into it.

4. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to be a Catholic right now.

5. I know more Will Ferrell quotes than Shakespeare quotes.

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  1. Anon says

    1. I talk to myself ALL the time

    2. I secretly hate my husband 90% of the time and fatasize about leaving him and at the same time love him too much to go.

    3. I love watching TV in my underwear

    4. I had an affair with a married man a few years before i met my husband and feel guilty about it to the point that i hate myself and my husband even though his perfect.

    5. I have a problem, where I sweat to much adn i hate it, but my husband loves my smell *gross i know but so romantic to, i dont even know why i hate him all the time*

  2. Mel says

    1. I am terrible at making and keeping friends, and as a result I am extremely lonely.
    2. I am losing interest in my live-in boyfriend but we just signed a new lease together, and I can’t leave him because he’d take the dog (and she’s the love of my life…).
    3. I let the fear of massive amounts of debt curb me from following my dreams. Despite the fact that I have found an alternative career that satisfies me, I still feel like a cop-out and feel like people judge me for the decision I made.
    4. I am pretty close with my brother. He took the career risks I never did and will end up making a ridiculous amount of money. I fear that I’m going to grow to resent his financial success and it will come between us.
    5. I want to be a really crafty person but I hardly ever follow through a project to completion.

  3. Anon. says

    1. I breastfeed my baby while I work on my laptop (and by “work” I mean check my email, Facebook, and blog) and I’m terrified that being so close to the computer will somehow give her cancer, yet I continue to do it almost daily.

    2. I let my older kids watch way too much tv.

    3. I constantly pretend that I’m on a reality show. In real life I’m just talking to myself, but in my head I’m imagining I’m in “the confessional.”

    4. I’ve only ever had sex with one person besides my husband. Even though I totally won because that dude is now chubby, bald, and underemployed, while my husband is a great guy, pretty cute and doing well in his career, and I love my husband and we have a great sex life, I still sometimes fantasize about that other guy and our sex life as our younger, hotter selves.

    5. I used to love my dog to the ends of the earth, I would come home in the middle of the day on my lunch break to spend time with her, spend hundreds of dollars for her to go to a doggie day spa, but now that I have kids I feel almost nothing towards her. She is just a big inconvenience for us now and I wish we could send her to live with another more loving family, but I don’t want to do that to my kids because it would break their hearts.

    • c says

      Agree about the dog thing. We have two and I used to love them to death, now I hate them. I’m tired of cleaning up after them, tired of their noise, tired of how expensive they can be. They’re both shelter dogs that came from bad situations and I’d hate having them go through the adoption process again.

      • M says

        I have actually never reponded to a comment before- mainly because most comment sections on the interwebs are full of hate and bad juju – and there is already too much negative energy out there. It took a lot to admit these confessions – but I truly truly hope you can find the love you once had in your heart for your pets. They are intuitive creatures that already can sense your change of heart – which in turn is probably breaking theirs – because all they want to do is please you and be loved by you. I really do pray you find that love again and remember the pure unconditional joy they once brought you instead of only focusing on the negative and the little they require of you.

      • Les says

        I have always been an animal lover. We have two cats and two dogs right now. Big dogs. Boxers. We also have a big family. Two older girls (twins) that take turns moving back in and back out, and two younger kids. ANYWAY- things have gotten so hectic around our house on a regular basis that I find myself wishing I could find all the animals a better home. I’m so over pets at this point and I never thought I’d be that way. Maybe I should find the kids a better home and keep the pets. Hmmm.

  4. Erin says

    1. I recently joined Hillel at my college. I’m not Jewish, but signing up came with a free t-shirt.
    2. I fantasize about giving one of my friends a makeover.
    3. My ex boyfriend is dating a girl who is, essentially, an airhead. I am waiting for the day that he realizes I’m better than she is and comes back to me.
    4. Within the last week, I have consumed 3 family size bags of chips by myself.
    5. My biggest celebrity crush growing up was LL Cool J.

  5. M says

    1. I social media stalk all my brother’s ex-girlfriends just to make sure they remain the whores I know they are.

    2. I can’t believe I married my husband and moved to the middle of nowhere. What was I thinking?

    3. I wish I was a Mormon superblogger.

    4. I pretend I’m famous and I constantly talk (to myself, yes) as if I’m being interviewed. Sometimes I don’t even finish the questions in my head, I just flip my hair and laugh and continue talk about whatever awesome thing I’m doing.

    5. I pretty much hate people. But everyone thinks I’m a people person. What’s with that?

    • G says

      OMG I did the same thing as your #2. Love makes you do some pretty stupid stuff! I’m not trying my hardest to move us out of here!

  6. says

    The only thing I can think to say right now is: I was raised in a strict Evangelical household, and these days consider myself to be more in the atheist camp, and no one in my family knows. Not a soul. It requires hella privacy and a lot of self-censorship on sites like Facebook, and a lot of awkward laughs and silence for in-person conversations. Feels pretty good to get that off my chest.

    • FyshWyfe says

      OMG me too! I was an evangelical missionary kid. At this point coming out as an atheist would kill my dad and grandmother, so I lie. I hate it. My husband does it too out of love for my family, but I actually look forward (can I even say this?) to the day I can be open about my disdain for the church I used to love and ties my family together. You’re not alone.

  7. Eda says

    1. I constantly worry that I’m not enough of a “challenge” for the guy I’m interested it (who also happens to be a really good friend), and when he does talk all romantic with me I feel like he’s settling.
    2. I fantasize about having sex with multiple married co-workers.
    3. I constantly run through conversations or situations that could happen, through my head, and tend to make the facial expressions as I think about what mood I’d be in. (the latest being a hostage situation at work where three co-workers come to my rescue only to have me show them how bad ass i can be with my fists and quick legs)
    4. I feel I need to put a bat in my trunk for self protection, or in case some one is pissing me off, but wont because I fear I might actually use it when someone pisses me off, and don’t want to deal with legal hassle or fees. And then I wonder if I have a problem.
    5. I sleep with a friend on a regular basis, even though his roommate thinks she’s his girlfriend. I tried being respectful, but after finding out she hates me just by association, I couldn’t give a crap, at least now she has a reason.

  8. jenn says

    1. I dont really seem to like children though I have 6 of them and I work at a minimum security youth detention facility, but I do love my children… especially when they are sleeping :)

    2. My husband has no idea how much we actually spend for our children to play sports and live the lives they are used to.

    3. My teenagers have just recently figured out that mom and dad dont really “talk about the weather” when the door is closed and locked….

    4. I really wish I liked to cook but I prefer it when someone else does it.

    5. I am the worst procrastinator ever, consistently 5 minutes late to everything

  9. Marcia says

    I make up things to fight about with my boyfriend because I don’t want us to always be happy happy joy joy. Plus the make up sex is really what I am after.

    I wasn’t hugged enough as a child. Resulting in me being a very slutty teen age girl. OK OK it lasted till I was 27… SHEESH make me tell everything why don’t you. AND even though I have someone who loves me now and I don’t have to be slutty, I crave some very dirty phone sex with random men

    I use my “cancer” as a crutch. Even though I have been cancer free for 3 years.

    My weight, is at 300 pounds ( damn your making me tell it all) and its crushing my little 4’11 frame. I feel helpless sometimes, yet I don’t try to loose the weight either. I just don’t even know where to start. (maybe I should put down the damn donut)

    a few months ago I got to meet Brittany and was kinda star stuck. I over analyze how dumb I must have looked, and the dorky-ness that came out of me. How when she hugged me, I think I creamed myself a little. Then on the way home I was all Brittany is even more beautiful in person, and did you see her mermaid hair.. and her kids.. and omg her friend.. and and and and. Until My boyfriend pulled the car over and just sat there blinking at me like I was a nut case.
    Ok you will probably d-friend me now, but that’s the risk I am willing to take to get this off my chest and maybe move on to other obsessive things.

  10. Michael says

    In case you wanted a guy’s response…
    I’m staying the weekend with my best girl friend, her husband, and his recently widowed mother on their farm. I’m really attracted to his mom, but her husband has been buried just over a month. I’ve had “That Summer” by Garth Brooks playing in my head all weekend.
    I think she’s attracted to me too…

    I sometimes watch really, really weird porn just to see what’s out there.

    I’m afraid of never reaching the expectations of my family. They didn’t even set the bar too high, but so far I feel I’ve been failing life.

    I feel I’ve wasted talents of mine. One example: as a child, I was considered a near-prodigious pianist. Yesterday, I sat down at a piano, and the best things I could play were the same things I could play when I was 15.

    Something positive…it matters to me more if a sexual partner gets off than if I do. I’ve probably had sex more often when I haven’t reached orgasm than vice-versa. Thankfully though, it’s usually both. I know this is rare for guys, but it’s something notable, I think…

  11. Em says

    1) I’verecently realized that instead of being a conservative democrat, I’m a really liberal republican. I can’t admit this to my friends, they might stone me.

    2) I fucking hate NPR. Maybe it’s the fact that they got rid of Click and Clack, not sure. But I can’t stop listening to it.

    3) I am the same person as my mother, and I’m totally fine with it.

    4) Recently my mom told my sister and I that she only had kids to prove to her family that she could do it right, unlike the rest of them. My sister is appalled. I’m totally cool with it.

    5) Almost positive that I’ve accidentally friend-zoned the love of my life and best friend. I think he may be past rescuing.

  12. says

    1. I want Adam Richman from Man vs. Food. Bad.

    2. I’m in nursing school, but I don’t want to be a nurse. I’m just stuck with it because it’s the degree I’m closest to.

    3. I actually like Nickelback. Quite a bit.

    4. I know absolutely zero about political/economic policy. It bores and confusing the good holy hell out of me. Mostly, I follow the opinions of people I trust, and who I know keep themselves completely educated on the issues.

    5. The smell of the soups and red sauces my husband makes (on a surprisingly regular basis) disgusts me. I try to give him hints, but he totally doesn’t get it.

    • steph says

      I’m totally with you on the nursing thing. I like to help people but nurses are mostly jerky bitches. I’m almost 30 and still have no idea what I want to be when i grow up.

  13. Lyndsey says

    1) I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let something go that happened to me when I was 17. I changed my outlook on life and how much I trust men. I am in my first legit relationship (7 years after the fact) now with a great guy, and I still feel bogged down by my ex’s betrayal.

    2) This is completely contradictory of No. 1, but I might be 5 months into dating the man that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

    3) I chose to go into an industry I love — journalism — but I have no Plan B when it finally becomes obsolete.

    4) I think I cried harder when I had to put my cat to sleep than I did when my grandparents died.

    5) I am absolutely terrified to have kids. I don’t know if I’d make a good mom, but I am mostly scared of the pain of labor. I am a strong woman usually, and I really believe this makes me a wuss.

  14. JK says

    1: I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I’m scared to death we’re just going to end up back in our small judgemental hometown forever.

    2: I hate cotton balls. I can’t stand to pull them out of medicine bottles. I try to laugh it off like most people do, but there have been a few times that I just stayed sick instead of sucking it up and dealing with it.

    3: I’m afraid I’ll never be able to forgive my mother for trying to end it all. She has no idea now it impacted her only child. I can’t ever tell her my side of what happened because I just want to protect her and prevent anything like that from happening ever again.

  15. Maggie says

    1. Secretly wish I lived in the 1040′s, where Mom’s were expected to stay home and take care of the house. Drinking vodka. I hate working. I mainly dick around on the internet while I am there, but STILL hate that I have to be there.
    2. Seriously believe that the ladies that I read on the internet are my friends. Brittany, Meredith..etc. I feel like they are my inner circle.
    3. I talk to myself outloud, conversations I WANT to have, SHOULD have had.
    4. I regret almost all my life decisions. I should have left the exhusband immediately after the birth of our son, when my re-sale value was high. I wish 39yr old Maggie could have a convo with 23yr old Maggie and set her straight.
    5. I am a 82% ‘er. That’s the most you will get out of me at all times, unless it involves TV. I can commit 150% to my DVR.

  16. says

    1. I wish all I had to is sit around play my online game (yes, nerdy party of one over here) and read blogs all day. I’ve only been working in my “dream” job for a week, but after spending 5 days with my group of 24 minions, err I mean, kindergarteners, I am tired. And I want to go back to do what I did all summer.

    2. I hoard books. And not just like a certain genre, but all sorts of books. Novels, childrens books, non fiction, etc. And my dad got me a Nook so now I just digitally hoard books until my paycheck runs out.

    3. I like to think I am funny and have important things to say and write about. People tell me they like what I write on my blog, but I actually don’t think its any good.

    4. Xanax and potatoes (fried, mashed, boiled, baked, any kind really) are probably the only reason why I haven’t completely lost it just yet. I would probably be better off in a nut house with padded walls then out in society.

    5. I’m secretly afraid that my husband is going to leave me. I fear that one day, he’ll wake up and realize that I’m actually bigger than he realized and he’ll bolt. This big girl is almost thankful her husband hasn’t made time to go get new contacts. Oh the anxiety I would feel if he could actually see me.

  17. Heather says

    1. I startle really super easily. It sucks. Once my ex-husband walked into the kitchen and surprised me and I dumped a huge bowl of potato salad on the floor! Never have quite forgiven him for that!
    2. This one is sad: I think the reason I startle so easily is that I was abused (mentally, physically, and sexually) by a psycho babysitter and her husband from age 1-5. She used to make me sit on the super hot radiator vent if I was “bad.” I still have the criss-cross perfect grid burn scars on my upper thighs and butt. They are fun to explain to people…
    3. There was a mean kid who bullied me in elementary school, throwing snowballs at me, chasing me, kicking and hurting me for years, so I got revenge. One time, his snowball hit me right in the eye. I came into school the next day with a patch on my eye (that I put there myself.) and told everyone that I had to have eye surgery because of what he did. He got in huge trouble, with the school, other kids shunning him. (It was 3rd grade.) It was all great till his mom called my mom to apologize and the truth came out…heh. Now that guy is my Facebook friend! Wow. I haven’t seen him since my freshman year of high school but people say he’s changed and is a nice person. Ok.
    4. I was on a tv show for 4 yrs from age 11 to age 15. I thought kids would think it was cool but they seemed to be more jealous than anything and made fun of me and the show. “Are you that fat girl, from that show?” “Nope,” I’d lie. “Wrong fat girl. I get that a lot.”
    5. I have all these plots for books in my head: characters, screen plays, the works. Now if I could only get them down on paper!

    • Brittany says

      See. now I have to know what TV show you were on?

      I am a firm believer that the shittier your life is, the more interesting you are as an adult, with amazing stories to tell. I hope you finally get those down on paper:)

  18. Heather says

    Wow I am sorry for being such a Debbie Downer! Guess it was a “relive painful memories” day. I swear I normally don’t give any of that stuff a second thought any more. I’ve gotten right pissed off, done therapy, got passed it long ago. Like years. Anyway, the show was called “Kidsworld” and I was a writer and reporter for my local NBC affiliate. My big claim to fame is that I interviewed Mr. T. (Don’t be jealous!). What can I say? It was 1982 and his career was at it’s peak. He was a sweetie, BTW. It was just a local version of the national show but the best pieces got sent to the national show. Believe it or not, estranged relatives saw me on the show and got back in touch with me and my family. Surreal. I pink puffy heart you Brittany and you will be the first person I send a copy of my book.

  19. Jennifer says

    1. I hate having a chronic illness, but sometimes I will say I don’t feel good when I’m just tired and want to sleep.
    2. I cringe when my best friend calls. I’ve known her since we were 8, but her life is filled with so much self-inflicted drama that, sometimes, I just don’t want to hear it.
    3. I don’t keep my house as clean as I should. There are days when I look around and see all the things that have to be done – and then I take a nap instead.
    4. I, too, have a favorite. I love all 3 of my children, but my eldest is my “mini-me.” Before I married, it was just her & me… its hard to let go of that.
    5. I enjoy The Middle; its Modern Family that I don’t get. I also don’t see the thrill in How I Met Your Mother… even though I have had a crush on NPH since he was Doogie. Yes, I know he’s gay. I don’t care. I just want to be his friend.
    6. I think I am fucking hysterical. I thought that I should be followed by a camera crew LONG before all of this reality TV. I quote movies on a very regular basis…
    7. I miss “USA’s Up All Night.” Does anyone else remember that? When the USA network would put on the cheesiest movies on Friday and Saturday nights. I was fat & unpopular and that was my “social life.”

    I discovered this blog a few months ago and, also, feel like we are fast friends. I would love to get together with a few bottles of wine and some 80′s movies. I firmly believe that there should be a video camera present…

  20. says

    I wasn’t going to, but then why the hell not.

    1. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear into a small town with a new name and no ties. I wouldn’t, but I think about it.
    2. I have never finished the book ‘The girl with the dragon tattoo’ and probably never will. I have tried for years and find it one of the most boring books I have ever attempted to read.
    3. My biggest fear is that I am not as smart as I think I am and people will figure this out someday.
    4. My life is not as awesome as my blog would suggest. I don’t lie, but I omit the crappier parts.
    5. The one career I am good at is the one that I hate the most.

    I think I actually feel better getting that out.

    • Jennifer says

      I also haven’t read that book!! I’ve tried reading it several times because everyone tells me how great is. I think its the most boring book I have ever tried to read! Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in this!!

      • says

        Me too! We bought all 3 books to read because we loved the movie. I’ve been working on the first one since December. And I am a reader.

        Maybe its because I don’t know enough Swedish. Or maybe that I just don’t care.

      • Les says

        I read all of them. Eh. They were ok. I wouldn’t swear by them. I had to fight my way through quite a bit of all of them. Don’t lose sleep over it girls. You’re not missing anything life changing.

  21. Therese says

    1. I am in the middle of a divorce, living with a son who is addicted to Percocet and one step away from prison, and I’m barely able to function when I’m at home — yet no one knows this because I fake everything so well.
    2. Somewhat related — I kind of hate my soon-to-be-ex and the son who is messing up his life and the life of my family.
    3. I work with a guy every day, eight straight hours, who I would like to f*** the living daylights out of, but he’s twenty-five years my junior and it would be so wrong on so many levels — yet I can’t stop hoping something will come of it “some time.”
    4. I’ve started smoking again in the past three months — after not smoking for over 25 years — and I LOVE it. (God, what an idiot).
    5. Ha-ha — let’s see if we can end this on a positive note, shall we? Hmmm. . .I could probably use therapy or medication or both, but I don’t want that, I don’t want to give in to it, sometimes I want to feel sad or scared or angry (especially that) or messed up, it helps me write better, so in lieu of that, this sort of thing is my therapy — reading this awesome blog and writing out my answers to questions like this.

  22. Katie says

    1. My first son died at two days old. I feel like I don’t do enough in his memory.
    2. My favorite show is Awkward. I am 30 years old and I love this show.
    3. I hate my sister. I feel like disowning her. I hate that she doesn’t ever and has never mentioned my first son’s name. She acts like he was never born. She doesn’t even express interest in my rainbow baby.
    4. My husband is awesome and expresses that he loves my body the way it is but I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror.
    5. I dream of Peeta. Not sexually but he makes me want to cuddle.

    • says

      I’ll be 30 in October. And I think Awkward is best thing ever.
      Also, I’ve never heard the term ‘rainbow baby’ before, but I think it’s amazing. And also a beautiful reference to his memory.

      • Katie says

        Thank you. My rainbow baby is actually my second son. He is the sign of hope and light left in the world after the darkness (or storm) came with the loss of my first beautiful little boy. I wish I came up with the term “rainbow baby” but it’s a common term among those of us who have lost a child.

  23. erica says

    I am DAYS late to the party but today is one of those days where I have had to bite my tounge so much I relish the thoughts of telling secrets.

    1.) I feel like I spend way too much time doing the “right” thing; and I am sick and tired of being the moral compass of my family. “No babe it’s the right thing to do to pay the nanny for the next two weeks even though she isn’t watching the kids don’t stop payment on that check. Yes, I know she ended up being totally selfish and put our kids in danger but still we give her two weeks notice.” Doesn’t he know that I am pissed too?! Oh and that I AM the one who had to have the 2 hour phone conversation firing her and listening to her bitch about my parenting!
    2.) I really, really want to quit my job and stay home with my kids but I often wonder if I could really handle it or if I would be hiding in my laundry room with my fingers in my ears in 2 weeks. I only work 3 days right now but that is three whole days away from all the got damn noise.
    3.) One of the top 5 reasons I want to keep losing weight is so that I can do naked things I could do when I was 18 that I can’t do very easily anymore.
    4.) My Husband- he is kind of a naked mastermind and I am lucky, lucky girl. I have so many friends who are having such trouble in that department that I just nod my head and offer condolences and I can’t tell anyone yippee I am having the best ever!
    5.) I worry all the time that my smart talking authority challenging spitfire 3 year old will grow up and actually either take over a small 3rd world country or actually be the-death-of-my-sanity.

  24. danielle says

    1) My fiance’s mom passed away this year and since he’s the only child we are cleaning out her house. I adored her but every time we find a picture of his parents before they divorced I get mad at her for not being more insistent about getting treatment for the depression which broke up their family.
    2) I wish my ex would find a new girlfriend. Not so much because he’s a good guy or so he’ll be happier, but because it makes me sad to know woman-kind isn’t taking advantage of his impressive shagging skills.
    3) I periodically check to see if The X Effect is up on Netflix Instant Watch. Even though I’ve seen almost every episode I love to watch a good reality tv train wreck.
    4) If living in the South ever made me lose my Jersey accent I would cry.
    5) The next person who decides it is their job to tell me what to do with my money, body, or politics just because I am getting married is going to get decked. Seriously.

  25. ECE says

    1. I had an abortion when I was 18. I got pregnant by having unprotected and unsolicted sex with a friend. While I didn’t technically “want” to have sex with him, I didn’t exactly resist either, I was sick at the time. I don’t regret the abortion, we were both headed in different directions and had no relationship to speak of. It would have been a shitty life for all of us. I knew I was too selfish for the adoption route, so that would not have worked.

    2. I am now married with two step children and we have two of our own. Most of the time I can’t stand my step children even though I’ve been in their lives since they were one.

    3. My mom is my best friend. I have other friends, but end up talking to my mom the most.

    4. Sometimes I can’t stand my kids and fantasize about what my life would be if I had never married my husband. Most of the time I don’t really like him all that much, let alone love him. I feel like I can’t leave him, now that I have kids with him, so I keep having more.

    5. Even though I don’t like my husband, I rely on him a lot and despite being cheap, mean, crabby and verbally abusive, he’s an otherwise decent guy.

  26. ECE says

    I know it was five, but I have one more.

    6. I was raised Catholic by my dad but I don’t believe in God. I am teaching my children that god doesn’t exist. My husband was raised Lutheran and doesn’t seem to give a shit either way. Most of my friends on FB seem to be bible quoting Jesus lovers and whenever I post something in support of Planned Parenthood or gay marriage, I wonder if they cringe and consider blocking me as much as I consider it when they post their scriptures.

  27. Laurie says

    1. My husband hasn’t had sex with me in over 2 years and refuses to take Viagra. It’s the only thing we fight about – the same fight over and over again. Even before that the sex hadn’t been good for years (anything over 30 seconds being considered good). Oh yeah, and he always promises to do something about it, but doesn’t.
    2. As it relates to #1… I constantly fantasize about hot men – currently starring Michael Phelps and his amazing abs and shoulders.
    3. Also related to #1… I am so angry all the time and feel like I hate my husband 80% of the time but at the same time still love him. He is a good person.
    4.I am depressed and overweight and can’t seem to get started on fixing me. I totally love my child, but hate being a stay-at-home mom. I’m sooo lonely! I need to make some friends, but how do you do that at 40?
    5. I want to be a writer and I have all these ideas and plots in my head but I can’t seem to get started putting them down on paper or even figure out how to start.

  28. J says

    1 I hate myself most of the time, but I still think I’m better than everyone else.
    2 Sometimes unbeknownst to him, I pretend my husband and I are are Peeta and Katness in the cave. It makes me like him way better.
    3 I read all three books in three days, despite having three kids
    4 I’d rather my dad had died when I was a young adult rather than turn into the druggie after he and my mom seperated. I am jelous of my husband that the way he lost his mom was to cancer and not to drugs. He can be proud of her and miss her without feeling stupid.
    5 I hate being the only one who makes sure the kids teeth are brushed and wish my husband would take some responsiblity for their oral hygine.

  29. says

    1. I DVR every single episode of Criminal Minds. Do you know how often it comes on each week? Mostly it’s my love for Shemar. But really it’s my all time favorite TV show.

    2. When I get bored at work (which is often) and FB and Twitter aren’t entertaining, I look at Sothebys Luxury Real Estate site. I find houses in the Hamptons. In Manhattan. I imagine that I could live in the $48 million dollar house.

    3. I want a new job so badly but I don’t do anything about it. I just hope one magically falls from the sky. I guess the real problem is I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up. Except a novelist…but I don’t believe I’m a good enough writer for that.

    4. I have actually considered if one can sell a kidney on craigslist.

    5. I more than anything in this world want another baby. Yet I’m single and have PCOS. Four tries and three years later I’m no closer to having a baby. I fear that IVF is my only chance. Hence, number 4. It’s the only way I could afford IVF.

  30. Robyn says

    1) I have a jacked up reverse version of body dysmorphic disorder: I think I’m way skinnier and hotter than I am. I strut my shit down the street like it’s my own personal runway, imagining that men are breaking their necks to watch me. And then I catch sight of myself in a shop window and am all “…oh.”

    2) I have little to no idea what’s going on in the world. I don’t really watch TV and I don’t really care.

    3) I’m a SAHM and I pretty much spend my day shopping, having coffee and lunch with friends, and facebooking. My kids are old enough to put away their own laundry, unload the dishwasher, dust, and clean their own bathroom. I spend an hour every other day in a quick cleaning frenzy, and then pretty much kick back and relax the rest of the time.

    4) When the house gets a bit dirtier than my efforts can take care of, I hire a service for a one-off deep clean and bask in my husbands praise. He has no idea that I have been doing this for 8 years.

    5) I hate, hate, hate playing with my kids. Seriously, playing board games with them makes my skin crawl. I fake it as often as I can so that they don’t know, but I’d rather clean a toilet.

  31. tanya says

    1. I am scared to death that I will end up alone. I am 34, and haven’t had anything more than a sexual relationship with anyone in almost 4 years.
    2. I am scared to get drunk anymore….I always feel like an alcoholic the next day when I do, even if it has been weeks since I have even had a glass of wine.
    3. I pray that I am pregnant every month…knowing that I am not…nor should I be…I can barely take care of myself.
    4. I feel like I have nothing to offer a relationship financially, and therefore feel unworthy to even think I should be in one….who wants to marry a girl with bad credit??
    5. I feel like I am the only person in my world that doesn’t have someone and I am beginning to get a little bitter about it. But I try to hide it…no one likes the bitter girl.

  32. D says

    1. My mother should never have had children. She doesn’t know the first thing about love or selflessness.
    2. My 12 y.o. daughter decided to move in with her father and his new girlfriend. She was one of my best friends. She moved out with no warning, while I was taking a nap. In my mind, I’ve had to think of her as “passed” in order to not completely fall apart.

    3. I’ve never felt a moment of guilt or regret after leaving my ex husband of 12 years for my new husband.

    4. I believe… True love in the movies and music? It’s real. Not a fairy tale. (See #3). So are spirit guides and fate.

    5. I’m wondering how we will manage to eat this week. This may be the hardest confession to make.

  33. K says

    1. Everyone thinks I’m a supermom…or so they tell me. But really? My house is a mess, I have no desire to play Legos or cars or playdoh or whatever it is the kids are playing right now, and I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing on a daily basis.

    2. I have no friends. Well, ok, I have a few friends that live out of state..including my best friend. However, I have no one to hang out with, no one to talk to, no one to do things with where I live. I’ve lived this way for about 10 years. I’m getting super lonely.

    3. I haven’t been to the dentist in at least 20 years. It scares me.

    4. I talk to myself all the time. And have imaginary conversations with myself.

    5. We live paycheck to paycheck. There is no savings. I feel like it’s going to be like this til the day we die. And I blame my husband for it all.

    • E says

      #5! I feel the same way! Its a horrible feeling. I also blame my husband . I got a job to make up for the lost income…but he still “cant find anything” “no one is hiring” “the pay isnt enough” all I hear is… “i dont want to work” I hate being broke and wondering if we will have enough $ for groceries this week.

  34. LS says

    1. Even though I think of myself as a big ‘ol Feminist, I sorta wish that whole, man goes out, makes money, brings it back to wifey who sits at home and never works a day in her life thing were still popular. Minus the kids. I hate kids.

    2. I thought I would be famous until around age 24 when I realized that just ain’t gonna happen. (for a talent of mine, not just for being me)

    3. I am always startled by how fat I am in pictures and videos. I walk around naked plenty, and I don’t avoid mirrors, but I still am always jolted to see it in film.

    4. I can’t stand my husband’s sister. I can’t even call her my SIL. I think she’s a rotten bitch.

    5. I wish I had a group of fabulous women to paint the town with. Yet, I am a “few close friends” kind of person. I love them dearly, but three does not make a party.

  35. Les says

    1. My mom’s batshit crazy and I’m afraid of turning into her. I’m already way more depressed at an earlier age than she ever was. I hate dealing with her sometimes, but I’m an only child and feel completely obligated to “be there for her” although I avoid going over there like the plague. She’s a martyr from HELL.

    2. I’m super irritated by my super spoiled rotten, ungrateful, bratty 22 year old step-daughters. (Twins). Their mom is a loser and a horrible parent, but I’m always the one who’s the bad guy. My husband buries his head in the sand and treats them like princesses. They get whatever they want, yet he treats my daughter (from a previous marriage) like cinderella. He admits that he’s too easy on the older girls, but won’t change anything. I’ve wanted to leave him because of that too many times to count.

    3. I love my son and my daughter, but sometimes I really wish I hadn’t had kids. I feel like a horrible person for feeling that way and I beat myself up over it a lot. I’m a ‘pretty cool mom’ but sometimes I don’t want to be. I don’t feel very ‘maternal’ a lot of times. I wonder what’s wrong with me.

    4. I hate my life I’d say about 70% of the time. The stress, the drama, money problems, my weight, my health, the mess in the house, the kids won’t do anything….I feel like it’s my life, but someone else has the controls.

    5. I’ll be turning 40 next April and I feel like my life is over. I have nothing to show for it. I got pregnant at an early age (20) and didn’t get to “do” much of anything I should’ve gotten to do.

  36. Krista says

    1. My husband and I have sex about once every 2 months. He says it’s because he’s stressed and tired. I know he “takes care of business” himself and I think if he has the time for that he has the time to be intimate with me.

    2. I get pissed when I am introduced to someone at my husband’s work gatherings and they ask me what I do. When I tell them that I am a SAHM they turn away from me. Take all the letters behind your name and shove it, assholes.

    3. I had rectal cancer and crap myself almost daily. I laugh and joke about it and tell people I’m just glad to be alive, but I’d really like to be normal again.

    4. We have moved a lot, but this last move we left the best friends we have ever made, the best schools and friends for our kids, a great fit socially and politically and moved to a place that is opposite of everything we believe in for money. Money doesn’t make you happy when you gave up everything you love, but when you are $150,000 in student loan debt, have no money for the kids to go to college, and no savings an extra $80,000/year can help you justify it. But really you sold your soul for money.

    5. My husband and I model kindness, politeness, and love to each other, our family and those outside our home, but our childen are the rudest, meanest kids I know. Their behavior is very embarrassing and I feel like I failed.

  37. Kait says

    1. I get ridiculously attached to characters on TV shows and when the season ends/series is over I cry and feel a loss of them.
    2. When I need a good cry, I sit in my overflowing laundry basket in my closet and shut the door and just let it happen.
    3. I don’t have the desire to ever be a momma. An auntie? Of course, but not a mom. And I loathe the comments that follow when people find out “You’ll change your mind…” “It’s a woman’s job to be a mom…” Oh, alright well with all of those astounding facts of course I’ll change my mind. Uhhh, nah.
    4. I have a secret blog that I sometimes write in and refuse to let people read it, even though when I “grow up” I want to be an author.
    5. Even though he did an awful thing and has no place in my life, I ache for him and miss him and wish he would realize how bad he fucked it all up… maybe even just for the satisfaction of him coming back around, maybe so I can tell him to fuck off once and for all.

  38. Anon says

    1. I am a conservative Republican and I constantly feel that I am being condemned because of it. Yes I watch Fox News, I love my guns, will vote Romney for president and I’m a so called “Bible Thumper” (HATE THAT TERM). But I never force my views on anyone else and I am educated and respectful of Liberal/Democratic opinions. I wish more people would have an open mind instead of just going off whatever the media tells us.

    2.I really, REALLY, want to give one of my friends a makeover.

    3. I’m still in love with a man that stopped loving me YEARS ago, and I wonder if I’ll ever move on.

    4. I weight 215lbs, and even though I am on Weight Watchers and it is slowly coming off and staying off, I feel terrible because that’s more than my Mom weighed after her last pregnancy :(

    5. I am still a virgin( by choice) and I wonder if that will backfire someday when I am married.

    • says

      #4: Keep at it! I weigh even more than you do, and I have tried Weight Watchers and other diets but I just prefer my diet of eating. I tend to eat my feelings, and these days I have a lot of feelings.

      #5: Hold on to your values! You will find someone who will cherish the fact that you’ve waited! I didn’t wait, and I sometimes find myself regretting that I didn’t share it with just my husband. BUT then again, I really like sex and I don’t think I would’ve gotten with my husband withot my sexual personality. However, my best friend married my best guy friend and she stayed a virgin until their wedding night. She even calmed down his man-whorish ways, because he was deadset on marrying her and didn’t want to belittle her beliefs.

      Hang in there!

  39. Anonymous says

    1. I am 5’6 and weigh anywhere between 147- 152 pounds and feel absolutely enormous. My entire family is skinny (without trying). I constantly go up and down on any given week. I eat well throughout the entire day and then start feeling ravenous every afternoon and binge at night.

    2. I sometimes think I have a drinking problem. I never experience withdrawals or have a “need” to drink, but I think life is so boring without it. I honestly don’t know what people (who don’t have kids) do with their weekends. Mine consistent of going out with my boyfriend and eating a huge meal and drinking too much. It’s so fun, but I feel like I’m the only one who does this all the time.

    3. I hate most engagement/wedding rings. I think they are a huge waste of money and 99% of them are ugly. People have terrible taste.

    4. Unless you have multiple kids and working wouldn’t financially make sense due to daycare costs, I have NO idea why a woman thinks they have the right to stay home while their husband works all day/forever. It really blows my mind.

    5. Despite me sounding super negative, I actually am quite happy and rarely get depressed or sad.

    • says

      In regard to #4, I don’t think I have the right to stay home, I have the privilege to do so. And there are still many days I miss being in the classroom. Being a teacher was easier in some ways than what I do now. 2 of my 3 kids aren’t in school full time yet, but I have several friends who have only children that stay home. I also know several stay at home dads. I think we should all just be thankful that there are so many different kinds of families and that whatever the arrangement is, it works for that family.

  40. Jane says

    I wasn’t going to post, but the temptation is too much.

    1. My husband of 6 years and that I have been with for 15 is the only man I have had sex with. I don’t like sex either and I don’t have the courage to communicate my sexual desires with him.

    2. I, too like someone else wrote, LOVE to smoke when I drink. In fact, I look forward to hanging out with people who actually smoke so I can every once in a great while. My husband hates it.

    3. I want to own a horse more than anything in the world. I ride every week, but it is not the same on a lesson horse.

    4. I judge people and I hate myself that I do. I wish I was a more accepting for who you are type of person.

    5. I wear “granny” panties and am not ashamed. They are super comfy!

    6. I regret #1.

  41. Anon says

    I’ve been reading all these other courageous women (and men)’s confessions. So here are a few of mine:

    1) I want to lose weight. I’m 5’2″ and 212lbs, but have no motivation to do anything about it. I started, and lost 10+lbs, but had to stop because of an injury. Now I just feel f***ed and let down by my own body.

    2) I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend that I was with when I was 19. I’m in my 40′s now, and still think he was the one that got away, and my soul mate. We found eachother after loosing contact after some time and we ended up working for the same people! Even though we are both married to other people, we have found comfort in eachother’s arms again. Neither one of us are divorcing, but it’s more for the kids than for our spouses.

    3) My husband is a great person, but a horrible husband and father. He does for all others but not for us. He takes and takes, but doesn’t give to his family the way he should. He thinks he provides fiancially, and that’s it. Within 10 minutes of him being home, one of my kids are crying because he yelled at them. He didn’t take any time off when the kids were born, didn’t help me at all even though I had C-Sections. I’ve had various surgeries through the years, and he hasn’t taken any time off work to take me, pick me up or help take care of me while recooperating.

    4) I wish I could just leave my husband, but my kids would be devistated. He’s never home anyways, so I just put up with him.

    • DeltaJuliet says

      Oh. My. God. #4 just described my relationship to a T. I feel both better and worse about that.

      Sorry girl. Hang in there. You are not the only one (and I guess I’m not either)

  42. N in WI says

    I have been reading these confessions for weeks now and may have finally come up with the courage to add my own:

    1- some days I wonder if I will ever figure out what I want to do with myself. I am on my own for the first time in my life – I am 41….went from high school, to wife, to mom, to single mom. I am afraid I don’t know how to be anything other than someone else’s something.

    2- I should have divorced my ex years before I did but was bound-determined to show everyone that I wasn’t going to be a statistic

    3- 2007 was the worst year of my life and I don’t know that I ever got over it. Outwardly it appears that I am so strong and self-sufficient, but I want someone to come and take over for me. But when anyone tries, I have a fit and push them away. wtf is wrong with me?

    4- I have chronic health problems that I feel, even though they are real and acknowledged by medical professionals, it is an excuse. I don’t look sick, so am I really?

    5- I want to write again. I used to be good at it and I think that I lost that skill somewhere. I am paralyzed with fear that I will suck and therefore I don’t even start.

    6- I think I am a closet hoarder. I hoard scrapbooking supplies even though I haven’t done any scrapbooking in years. I also hoard books on my kindle. Over 600 now…..

    7- I am afraid I will never find a person for me and will become the bitter old woman that my mother was and my kids will hate me in the end.

  43. E says

    1.I just want to be happy again. Whatever it takes…I will get back there.
    2. I had an affair with a married man. I secretly hate what my marriage has become. I feel like such a fake. But I stay because I dont have enough money to support myself and my kids on my own.
    3. I hate that people can get away making fun of my weight because im little….Calling my weight.. “disgusting” because they think its a compliment that I am so tiny. It’s just as bad as calling someone disgusting for being over weight. Its sad that people come to the automatic conclusion that I must have an eating disorder because I have 3 kids, and only weigh 98 lbs.
    4. I cant keep friends. And I dont know why. Its like they all see something in me that I dont. I wish someone would enlighten me. I think i’m a good person.
    5. I wish I knew how to get back all the feelings I lost for my husband when he decided to become a closet alcoholic. I feel like we have lost everything because of him over the past few years…all because he lost his job. I feel like he depends on everyone else to pick up the pieces.

    • anonymous says

      I could have written all of these myself, except number 4. Somehow, I have amazing friends. But the rest?! Is very much my life, almost to a T. Life was supposed to be awesome. I married the love of my life. Why did it go so wrong? Is it us? I feel like mine drinks because he is unhappy with himself, yet he does nothing to make it better. I’m sick of being at the brunt of it and pushed to the back burner. Selfish or not. No one knows how much he actually drinks, only I do because I see it every fucking day. EVERY. FUCKING.DAY.

  44. anonymous says

    I wasn’t going to do this because I felt mine were too “horrible” to speak of. They’re clearly not all that bad, considering it doesn’t sound like I’m the only person who feels or has felt some of what I feel. I’ll start here….
    1. I’m doing this anonymously because I’m too much of a pussy to put my name, as many of my friends and coworkers read your blog. I just can’t put my thoughts into actual spoken words, so I type them for other anons to read and empathize with.
    2. My husband of 6 years (coming up on 14 years of being together) is a fully functional alcoholic. I have known this about him since he was young, but assumed it was something he’d grow out of. He loves me and our two children to death, supports us financially, and is a FANTASTIC father. But I resent him because of his drinking. I wish he’d quit, but these days, I don’t even care anymore, and am just emotionless about it.
    3. Regarding number 2, I am ready to just move on. If it weren’t for our two young ones, I’d have left his ass simply BECAUSE of said number 2. Mainly because I feel like I come last to him. After our children? Fine. I’m glad for that. But after his daily drinking? I HATE THAT. He’s said he’d quit more times than I care to count, and I just don’t give a shit anymore. His words about it mean absolutely nothing to me, and he fails to understand why I act less than excited every time he tells me he’ll quit “in 6 months, let me get to my birthday/new years/our son’s birthday/whatever fucking arbitrary day” he feels like will make me “happy”. I’m past happy. I’m a bitter woman now, who doesn’t even give a shit.
    4. Regarding my bitterness. I’m not even in love with him anymore. He spent the better part of a year and a half just existing here because he was unhappy in his job. I took his constant complaints and whining but in the mean time, I just grew unhappy with myself. I held a lot of his anger within myself, and in the end, I have almost no attraction to him, and am basically angry about the fact that I’m not in love with him anymore. I feel like he took my love away from me by being a dick for a year and making me not like him during that time. I’ve loved this man for 14 years and it KILLS ME to not be IN love with him anymore.
    5. I can’t even type the truth and a deep seated confession I’m holding. Only one other person knows it, and it’s actually our confession. It makes my stomach hurt to think about actually putting this one into words, so I”ll keep it to myself…Still. I’m not ready for whatever consequences could come of it, so I stay tight lipped.
    6. I feel like I”m having a huge mid life crisis. I’m 31. It’s too early for this, right?! Yet, I’m compelled to quit my job and do something I know will make me happy, leave my husband even though taking our kids from him would KILL HIM. I’ve recently busted my ass to lose a good amount of weight, for my own health and for that of our children, so I could be an active participant in their lives/games/whatever they want to do. Yet. It honestly goes unnoticed by my husband. He seems unphased by it, and sometimes?! I feel like it was all in vain. I didn’t need his attention all day everyday, but once in a while?! A “babe, you’re so gorgeous” (Even if i’m not, goddamnit) would be AWESOME. Yet, it never comes. Ever. I just feel like a roommate in my house. Our best-friendship has been gone since the birth of our second child, I feel like, and like I said, I’m just bitter. I don’t even want it back. I just want to be happy and have someone LOVE ME like I want to be loved. Like he USED to love me. Sigh.
    7. I feel like a whiny bitch about it all. A wonderful, handy, handsome, amazing father of a husband?! And I don’t even want him? I guess I’m pissed and feel taken for granted. And very sad knowing there’s nothing he can do about it to make it better anymore. Now what?

    • says

      Now you grow up.

      You’re in a co-dependent relationship with an alcoholic person.
      Why is that ? What trait in your personality and background drove you to this ? You knew about his affliction, you dated him for 8 years, you married him, you had children with him.
      What steps are you taking to change the status quo in your co-dependent relationship ?

      You’re strong enough to control your weight, you’re brave enough to keep a secret.
      You CAN change this situation, it is possible for you to take charge of your emotions : take back control ! You want to love him ? Then love him. You don’t want to be bitter ? Then be kind.
      Don’t wallow in your selfpitying sadness, don’t passive-agressively make him responsible for your sense of purpose.

      I feel this post raises a lot of points that might interest you : http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2012/02/28/divorce-is-immature-and-selfish-dont-do-it/

  45. Jessica says

    1) Tonight, my sweet, darling, 7 yr old son asked me to come tuck him in to bed. “uh-huh” I say. A few minutes go by… ” When, mom?” … “one minute, baby…” 30 minutes rolls by with my face STILL plastered to Facebook, and on my way to the bathroom,I find him in his room, sprawled across his bed, passed out with his Nintendo Ds in hand and ear buds still in. BAD MOMMY. BAD.
    2) I never want to have sex. Like, EVER…But every time my hubby finally convinces me to put out, I’m all like, ” OMG, this was the best idea in the history of ideas!” ( he’s pretty spectacular. Still don’t know why I never go for it though…)
    3) I really am not an animal lover, at all.. I don’t hate them or anything, but I’m just not all ga-ga like some of my friends are. I’m sorry, but no, it is not ‘cute’ when your 180lb dog follows me around at your BBQ, trying ( and some what succeeding in ) shoving his nose up my ass, because he ‘likes’ me. He doesn’t ‘like’ me, I’m just on my period, and your dog is a perv.
    4) I don’t really like my mom. Like, as a person. I think she is kind of a shady, wish-washy, weak, and purposefully ignorant woman, and it pretty much disgusts me. But we get along great. As long as I don’t confront her about anything. EVER.
    5) If I hadn’t gotten pregnant with my oldest son, I would probably be on crack. Or dead. or living in a house full of neglected cats and dogs. *shudder* Thank God for that kid. Aww, fuck now he wants a dog….

  46. LinzJupiter says

    I fessed up to #1 on another post (the one about bullying) so I might as well fess up here too.

    1. I keep the girl who bullied me about my weight in grade school on my FB, just so I can take an inappropriate amount of pleasure in the fact that she is now twice my size.
    2. Addendum to #1: if any of my progeny are ever bullied, I will get them martial arts lessons, and tell them they are free to kick the crap out of anyone who bullies them, provided they are kind to everyone else, and keep their grades up.
    3. I slept with my ex for 6 months after he had a new girlfriend. This was 4 years ago, but I still feel like a homewrecker, and I fear I cursed myself eternally in the relationship department.
    4. After a few solid years on online dating, I am so bitter and mistrustful of guys that I am tempted to try my luck with the fairer sex. I’m pretty sure I’m not a lesbian, but I think I could be happy with a wife. Luckily, I can do this in Canada, where I live.
    5. I have serious doubts about the divinity of Jesus, but still happily go to church weekly, because I think that either way, JC is still a pretty good guy to learn from.

  47. layla says

    My confessions

    1) i hate my husband and regret a lot that i married him at such young age but i pretend to be happy infront of family and friends

    2) as a teen i was very flirty slutty an dated 2 or 3 at the same time to the extent that i dated brothers without me knowing untill one of them found out i was shocked their brothers lol. Iil aldo add that marriage life did not put me off the flirting and slutty behaviour.

    3) i had an affair with a man older then me only because he was super rich, he spent a lot on me brought me rolex watches, dimonds, he would take me shopping buy anything i pointef at. +( something my husband never did) . I had sex with him coz i thought of it as giving him a favour back, whats worse is that i never regreted it.

    4) i have a baby boy who i love to bits but some days i kinda regret that i had kids an wish thst i
    was still single.

    5) i get jelouse from my sisters but never show it

    6) im kind of vain and i make my husband feel crap by saying im way too good looking for you, i look much younger, i had a baby and no one can tell i still got size 10 body. I know thats not nice but still do it.

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