Asides

Glasses Party

I’m home alone probably only for one day*nervously checks weather* so I’m having a glasses dance party with the Scissor Sisters and a box of Rivet & Sway try-on glasses. No brainer.

Glasses are from a free try-on box from my spec addiction, Rivet & Sway.
Styles: Pantsuit, Snapshot, Ms. G, Disco Diva, Director’s Cut

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I don’t know about you, but I hate to have things all up on my neck. On top of that, I have a large chest, so high necklines- on top of choking me- are really unflattering.

Plus I like my sweatshirts with cleavage. I’ll own that.

So, I have come up with a solution to the dreaded high neck hoodie, a really easy DIY v-neck that leaves your shirts looking worn and vintage, your jugular free from danger, and your boobs free from sweat.

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1. Lay your hoodie on a clean flat surface. I happen to love the 2X and 3X Men’s hoodies from Target and Walmart. They are soft, cheap, warm, and lovely to hide in.

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2. Find the center of the neckline, and with a pair of good scissors, cut a 2 inch line straight down.

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3. To make the shirt look more worn, I do the rest of the work with my hands. Put the hoodie on, face a mirror, and rip the shirt open to your desired V-neck length. Go slow, don’t Michael Jackson this shit, take your time.

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4.  Keep the strings and hood intact. Pair with some skinny jeans, a cute cami and some boots, and it’s a great casual outfit that lets your boobies breathe and adds a girly touch to all those annoying hoodies piled up in your closet.

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It’s funny because it’s me.. I mean, because it’s true.

Click here if you are trouble viewing the video above. 

If I invented a beer, I’d call it Do I look Pregnant? The question mark is part of the beer name  because it’s 10% alcohol content and it makes your pee blue if you got pregnant while drinking it.

This would have been helpful to me, as I feel like I found out I was pregnant all three times after an episode of Vegas-style debauchery, leaving me scrambling to Google to verify just how soon a fetus shares my bloodstream.

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Four days. Be excited.

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For a few winter seasons, I’ve been loving the long winter coat from afar. It looked so pretty, but so did my grandmother when she wore it. So, I put it in the pile of trends that would never come to be for me; harem pants, peplum tops, gladiator sandals…

But you know what? After 30 years in Ohio, a girl gets tired of her ass freezing off. Time to put this trend in the OMG I LOVE IT column.

Winter Coat

Long Tie Waist Parka, size XXL, Old Navy
Navy Fair Isle Knit Hat (Mens), American Eagle
Plaid Fur Lined Boots, Target

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