This morning I woke up to an article on NBC talking about the best jobs in the country right now. As always, I’m shocked not to see the reality television industry at the top, because it seems to be booming, but whatevs, we can’t all be Honey Boo Boo. (Disclaimer: I can’t watch that show because the mom is too heavy of a mouth breather, and that makes my neck hair stand up. Like nails on a chalkboard. It’s a hard limit.)
So, the interesting thing about that whole report was what was at the top of their list… Online Affiliates. Now, I’m not a scientist, but I think the basic rundown is that link is put there by a person, and that link has an ID in it specific to said person, and every time that specific link is clicked, that person earns money.
Sometimes you see affiliate links on blogs or websites that have gift guides or often talk about products allowing the site owner to earn a small percentage of what you buy by clicking that link. Many times you may not even notice the links exist, and I guess you can have mixed feelings about the whole thing, but that’s a debate for another day. I can tell you I don’t use them, but honestly, I still think the condescending Willy Wonka meme is still funny, so what do I know about being hip and savvy on the internet?
But, there is another form of affiliate link you might be super familiar with. You know, those annoying links you see embedded in websites and forums and comments sections?
This was a gr8t post, TRY THESE PENIS DRUGZ FOR YOUR SEX?
A person, or a person and his robot, puts that link there, and when you click it, they make money. I have no idea how much.
Sounds scammy? Like those infomercials for house flipping and tchotchke sales? Kinda, but that’s impossible, because it’s in a real life Careers on NBC News article, and the human lady they interviewed makes, like, $5,000 a month. So honestly, it makes sense this is a growing business, I guess I just didn’t realize it would top a jobs report. (Above Mathematician!? Sorry ’bout your luck, Little Man Tate.)
So, twice in the Top Jobs article, it links to a company called Online Business Systems, and you can get the whole entire trial for free (less shipping), by clicking the link, and this intrigued me, because being able to work from home is the new American Dream, and I say that without sarcasm. I have two parents out of work, and many friends job hunting right now, and I think my generation is one that somewhat demands and expects ownership and flexibility in their work, and the freedom of this whole affiliate thing, admittedly, sounds intriguing but also? Crazy suspicious. So before I called my dad all, OMG I SOLVED YOUR INSURANCE PROBLEM, I decided to check out the Online Business Systems website myself. It had a shocking amount of ZERO information on it, other than being super upbeat and colorful. Like a fun anime acid trip.
I was so confused, and then Jenny popped up.
So, I might as well ask her what’s up, right?
Jenny Says: Hey wait! We hate to see you go. So just this once we would like to offer you a FREE Home Business Tax Guide, along with a Prioritized Home Business Consultation! CLICK HEREto take advantage of this amazing offer!Jenny Says:PLUS we won’t keep you waiting! We’ll ship your package immediately and schedule a consultation for you ASAP so you can get started immediately.Jenny Says: Learn how to save thousands of dollars in cash every year with a home based business — you’ll get our risk free information-packed guide 100% risk free. CLICK HEREJenny Says: I’ll be here if you have any more questions
You: Great, this whole thing sounds a little vague, but the pitch on NBC said no selling just posting links?
Jenny Says:Let me explain a little more. OBS is a cutting edge marketing system that allows you to build an internet-based business from the comfort of your own home.Jenny Says:We are associated with a company that does over $3 billion in sales and is publically traded on the New York Stock exchange.Jenny Says: OBS will help you launch your business and give you all of the tools that you need and a personal business coach — the time is now! CLICK HERE
You: Wow, impressive, what company?
Jenny Says:We are so sure that this package will work for you that not only do we offer a 90-day money back guarantee, less shipping, but we will include the Home Business Tax Guide for FREE!Jenny Says: Just CLICK HERE for the secret order page with this bonus offer.
You: Cool, awesome deal, thanks, what company is this for?
Jenny Says: You’re very welcome!
You: Yeah, so about my question, I like to go into business deals a bit informed, what company would I be posting links for? And is there really NO selling?
Jenny Says: We would like to offer you a FREE Home Business Tax Guide, along with a Prioritized Home Business Consultation! CLICK HERE to take advantage of this amazing offer!
You: Oh I know, I saw it was free in the NBC article, I am just weary of work from home scams, ya know?
Jenny Says: Available through this chat only I am authorized to offer you the Home Business Tax Guide Risk FREE for 14 days when you order today. Just CLICK HERE
At this point, I started to get frustrated that Jenny was not hearing my words.
You: My vagina is on fire.
Jenny Says: That is inappropriate.
You: Just making sure you are reading what I am typing because I’ve asked you a question like 5 times and you are avoiding it, which worries me, since I have to invest money in your product
Jenny Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information.
You: So wait, you have no idea what you are actually selling?
Jenny Says:Just remember, the ONLINE BUSINESS SYSTEMS Decision Package comes with our 90-day money back guarantee (less shipping & handling fees) and now for a limited time we’ll give you the Home Business Tax Guide for FREE and get a Prioritized Home Business Consultation.Jenny Says: Your satisfaction is GUARANTEED CLICK HERE for this last-minute offer.
You: This has been crazy informative, ordering now, and I LOVE your hair in your avatar, you look really pretty, thanks for everything!
Jenny Says: Well thank you very much! That was nice
So obviously, I ordered ten. Thanks for the tip, NBC!
(Psst. I am totally aware there are legit work from home businesses, feel free to share them and your experiences here, but for reals, don’t link me to erection drugs, they, like, never work for me.)