I miss Danielle. Just kidding. Her face looked like a panther.
What it sucked in overall enjoyment, it made up for in non-molestation and a stellar education, and in the long run, that’s what matters…as long as your main goal isn’t getting laid in high school, because then, my dear with your frizzy hair, big glasses and androgynous clothing tastes, you are fucked.
I pretty much suck as at all forms of transportation, outside of rickshaw and segway.
Either way, I’m still not wearing fucking shorts, no matter how drunk you get me.
Fact: You can’t deport mental illness.
So you don’t get twitter? Awesome. Neither does my grandpa.
4. Boys, I know sometimes you wake up and it’s all weird and hard. Tell your dad about it. Not me.
We always wear our pajamas to the drive-in. Coming down from a sugar high is way easier if we don’t have to change into our comfy pants mid withdrawal. If you were in my brain right now, you would be scared and claustrophobic and there would be absolutely no place to put your drink down, […]
Also, WHO TAUGHT MY PARENTS HOW SCANNERS WORK?
Andy & Brittany watch Twilight Saga Eclipse for the 800th time, and also, Andy might be drunk.