This weekend we saw Pitch Perfect. Now, I won’t go into the part how after the movie I was too tipsy to drive home, so while sitting in my car waiting for Andy to show up, I called Meredith because the old lady sitting in the car next to me was licking her lips because I accidentally looked at her when I said the word “pussy.” Because that story is humiliating. So, let’s just talk about the movie.
Actually I can’t, because there were too many favorite parts, so it would just be me, C&P’ing the entire script here. It was… hilarious. Like so funny, I had to look around every time I almost peed my pants to make sure it was in fact, that funny, and I wasn’t accidentally high. I wasn’t, and it was. There were actually no characters that I hated. Rebel Wilson? Goddess. Adam DeVine? Douche-tacular. Anna Kendrick? Bella Swan sucks.
It was like the best episode of Glee that never aired. It was all the epic mash-up goodness without all the angst and puberty.
Aca-suck it, Schuester. Team Fat Amy.
Here’s what happened this week:
- In our Babble column, That’s What She Said, Shauna and I talk about the weird old guys we wanna bang.
Here’s some cool shit I saw online:
Christopher Walken, Colin Farrell and Sam Rockwell read from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I laughed until I realized PEOPLE EAT KETCHUP AND MELTED BUTTER ON THEIR NOODLES IN REAL LIFE!? I couldn’t take a hot enough shower to wash that away.
I can’t even actually tell you why this was funny, but it was and I watched it for 6 minutes.
I have been trying to find all the Halloween stuff I watched as a kid to show mine, because I just feel like overall, we should have the same level of emotional traumatization and scarring. I can’t seem to locate Mr. Boogedy, which I totally remember having nightmares about, but I was able to find Disney’s Halloween Haunts, a collection of old timey Disney Halloween shorts that I recall watching every year. Unfortunately, it was only available on VHS, and the thought of waiting for something to, like, rewind? Makes me want to rock myself to sleep in my closet while instantly downloading apps on my iPhone. WHAT THE FUCK HALLOWEEN!? Bring back all the good shows!
Until then we’re stuck watching Halloween town and pretending we didn’t notice they changed girls between movies three and four, also, you can watch Disney’s Halloween Haunts on youtube.. Part 1, Part 2 IS MISSING, Part 3.
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