Lazy Monday: June 27th

I recreated my second grade confiscated recreation of the Last Supper.
You’re welcome.

Weeks are long.  Sundays are dirty.  Let’s relive it together.

This week, there was nothing lazy about Sunday.  Which is why I’m posting this Monday from my bed.

We spent the entire weekend landscaping.  I bought 20 bags of mulch, which, as far as I was concerned, was enough to mulch the whole planet.  Wall to wall mulch.  Turns out, much like King Size Kit Kats, bags of mulch never go as far as you think they will.  So then I had to go buy 20 more bags of chopped up wood to put on the ground.  America is so weird.

I am in the wrong business.

On the plus side, I have a sweet tan, I can’t lift my arms above my waist, and I had to walk Jude through hooking my bra for me this morning.   He’ll either be in therapy or thanking me when he finds himself in a closet for seven minutes with a girl.

For starters, I was in the Detroit Free Press yesterday.  I had absolutely no idea when this was even running, until my dad called to ask me how many more national publications I would be appearing in half naked.  I am suddenly inspired to make it into Playboy.  Click here to check it out.

Last week I also shared with you how to save $20 by making your own circle scarf and rewriting the DaVinci Code,  and also why I am probably getting excommunicated from my church.

I found lots of other fun stuff online, too!  Like a million awesome uses for a pothole, and if anyone is interest, I am totally doing baptisms in the one in front of the post office later this week.  See mom, you said they were full of car oil and street pee, but they’re not.

(Speaking of religion, if anyone is getting married soon and would like me to officiate, I totally can, seriously, and I promise I won’t even be super drunk on white russians.)

There’s this girl I love named Becky.  This is one of the reasons I love her.  There are loads of other reasons, but they just get creepy.

OMG SPOKEY DOKEYS!  Why does everything just suck now?

This is how I make all my friends, and it’s never awkward, ever.

This is my new favorite shirt.  Andy won’t let me wear it to his company picnic.

To keep up with everything I love, I suggest joining me on Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Facebook, and Twitter.

Facebook Comments



  1. stacey says

    I just have to tell you that I just love your blog each and every time that I read it…you are right there with everything and I totally get it!! Thank you for your thoughts and allowing us into your life!

    (and I totally love the t-shirt…definitely wear it to the outing!! lol)

  2. DM's Mommy says

    I heart you. I only have FB but I think I should figure out how to log in to Twitter again just to follow you. You make work, and staying home when injured but not from work from a neck surgery that would be totally cool if I had a scar to show for it rather than medical tape and purple markings still, go by so fast!

  3. LaurBia says

    Mulch – worst word ever…and my weekend was full of it. The sweet jebus pain I’m in right now better pay off!!!

    • says

      PS: I had that comment box open for about half an hour because I was flustered and when I’m nervous I tend to not make sense. I’d like to confess that I backspaced over my initial comment, which read, “The feeling is MEOWtual!!”

      Get it? Like a cat. *crazy eyes*

    • Brittany says

      I sorta tell, like, everyone about you. You make me do my out loud, ugly face, nose runny laugh.

      So I was like, ugh, I need to be her friend, but I mean, how do you even make friends on the internet, so I was like, OMG I should send her something, like a friendship gift, like how we all wore those best friend necklaces in the 80s and 90s, but do they even make those anymore? Is a jagged heart too forward?

      So, then I decided to take that rad idea and go all abstract with it, and be like, ok, I’ll send you one of something that comes in pairs, which, yes, OBVIOUSLY, rabbits feet. So I bought two rabbit’s feet, normal colored ones, because I hate when they are, like, green, and put one in this tiny box with tissue paper and was all ready to send it when I realized… 1. I don’t even have your address, and 2. if I did have your address, I’d be sending you the foot off a rabbit in a box.

      And it suddenly felt less best friend and more like Seven.

      This makes sense, right?

  4. Johanna says

    Thank you for the drawing!!! Love the horse passed out under the table. And yes, your horse drawing is great.

  5. Cyndi says

    I wonder if you’re ever surprised by the impact you’re making on us, the not-size-2 ladies of the world, just by loving yourself and being real. You rock.

    Also, you were not exaggerating your horse-drawing skillz.

  6. Leslie says

    Those are mad horse drawing skillz!

    And I still have my caboodles make up box and really miss scrunchies.

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