I’m That Type of Mom

As I leaned into my open trunk in the parking lot of Kroger at 7:45 am assembling 20 fun yet nutritional Valentine’s Day bags, I realized, I will always be this mom.

The mom running through the juice box aisle with three school uniformed kids before dawn wondering why they sell juice in packs of 8.

The mom hunched over the empty register with a team of five bored, and totally life-saving, cashiers putting together Halloween treat bags.

The mom staring at her pantry wondering if individually wrapped Fortune Cookies would be a considered a classroom snack cop-out, or totally worldly and exotic.

I’m last minute.

I’m forgetful.

I’m bad with pipe cleaners and peanut allergies and and making kids call me Mrs. Gibbons.

I’m really good at lots of other totally dope things.

But this stuff? This will never be one of them.

What type are you?

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  1. says

    I’m a bit of that mixed with a bit of Martha Stewart. I like to be organised (or I think I do) and I am usually quite prepped for special days at school, parties, lunchboxes, etc. But sometimes I leave my kids in the car for a second as I run into the supermarket to fill their lunchboxes because there’s no bread for their PB sarmies and they go to school with a selection of snacks. As long as they know I love them, that’s all that matters, right?

  2. Lisa says

    Where were you when my little one was little? I am so the last minute mommy with this shit….and I always felt so guilty! Good to know there are others, and it is ok. And come to think of it, I am a really awesome mom in so many other ways. Thanks for the perk up!

  3. Kristi says

    No kids, but I’m currently the kind of girl that plans ultra early, has everything prepared WAAAAY ahead of time, but then when it comes to it, I can’t find where the heck I put everything and still end up with the really fast cop out.

    • Swerds says

      I’m not the only one?

      The only children I can have are of the 4-legged & furry variety. While they get food, attention & plenty of love everyday I still mess up with them. I don’t clean their cages as often as I should. Sometimes, they don’t come out of their cages for as long as I (and they) wish they could. But those little fuzzballs are my babies and don’t seem to care if they get Christmas chewies at New Years or Valentines treats at Easter. So maybe we’re meant for each other.

  4. Big Girl says

    I’m the mom who has a stay-at-home husband to do about 75% of that stuff. Then I sit at work all day with mom guilt. (It’s a real thing and it is a motherfucker.) I have no idea how I’m the one who found this man or what I’d do without him.

    • DeltaJuliet says

      Don’t feel bad. My husband and I both work full-time, I do 95% of everything (and giving him that 5% is generous), and I too suffer from the mom guilt. It IS a motherfucker and I’m pretty sure it’s universal. I wish it was Dad guilt instead but there doesn’t seem to be too much of that going around 😉

  5. megryansmom says

    Call me I’ll make up super cute packages for any classroom event and mail them to you. Just send a check our you credit card lol

  6. says

    I am the type that let’s my kids watch Pitch Perfect and then gets to use the “Let’s Talk About Sex” as a launch pad for the talk. I am the mom whose oldest daughter then recites an entire scene from the movie centered around a “toner” and I realize I now have to explain not just an erection but the term boner. Yet, I do not let my kids eat HFCS.

    Ah, yes, an unpredictable contradiction.

  7. Kelly says

    I’m the mom that says “shit don’t your friends have mom’s to do this stuff. Here take baggies of fruit loops”

  8. Carrie Sautter says

    Don’t hate me, but I’m a lover of all holidays since becoming a Mom. I had Valentine’s Day planned/bought for my daughter a month ago and now I will start on Easter!! I wouldn’t say I’m a *planner* by any means, but more of a memory maker who is pretty creative and crafty 😉

  9. says

    Once upon a time when the kids were all little and all in grades under 6, I was totally organised. I was that mom who made all the cookies homemade, put together all the lunches for them and had them lined up in a row ready to go, bath times and bed times strictly observed and girls hair braided for picture day.
    The kids all got older. Now they’re 19, 17, 14, 12 and 11. Our world exists of total chaos. One kid done school and working (evenings) to save up for college who sleeps till at least 1pm every day, one who is doing her last year of high school through correspondence since she can’t stand the pressures and bullying of her high school anymore, one in grade nine who stresses over everything but takes care of her own school lunches, one in middle school who does the same as the one in grade nine and my baby boy, in Grade six who prides himself on being independant. I have re-discovered going back to work, throwing together last minute dinners when I get home, staying in bed until 8 am and basically being all over the map when it comes to being organised.
    Got wine?

  10. says

    That type. I forgot snack day in Kindergarten. IN MY DEFENSE, it was the tax deadline day. The teacher realized this the night before (she’s obviously one of those OTHER types) and whipped up a batch of marshmallow treats for the class. Then she told my son that I dropped them off at the school when he wasn’t looking.
    There is ONE drawback to having a genius child…he didn’t buy it for a second.

  11. says

    I’m the mom that feels like she has to make the cute stuff for my kids’ parties because of working mom guilty, and then I end up leaving the stuff on the bar as I’m yelling at them to put their shoes on because it IT IS TIME TO GO!!! And I have to go back home and get everything and we all end up being late anyway.

  12. Jennifer says

    I’m the mom that has tried, and failed, to no over-schedule our tiny family of two. I’m the mom that rarely gets home before 8 and takes her kid out to eat far too often. I’m the mom that is there for every.single.activity even if it means depleting my time off. Except for those times when I really can’t be there. Then I just spend the entire time feeling guilty for not being there. I’m also the mom who told her kid to “just eat around” the stale parts of the way -too-old-to-eat bread that I’m trying to use up. I’m the mom who is still up at 12:30 because I didn’t finish the laundry early enough, and oh shit I forgot to make his lunch, and crap I guess I need to do another load of laundry because I forgot to throw the karate uniform in there…I’m the mom that would love to hand make awesome valentines for the entire class and accompany them with fresh baked heart shaped cookies, but I just don’t have time for that shit.

  13. Jenee says

    Last minute mom here! My kid is 18 and I still do everything last minute :)

    I hate being Mrs. last name or Miss Jenee…just call me Jenee, kids. I promise, I won’t feel disrespected whatsoever.

  14. wendy says

    I am the type that sends a box of Thin Mints to preschool for show-and-tell because I forgot that it was our turn and I happened to have a box in the car. Of course no one could eat them because they were baked in a plant that processes peanuts. This was slightly better than the last show-and-tell when all we could find in the car was a rock that my child had found at the park the day before.

  15. says

    Love it- I’m actually working on a post about what type of mom I wish I was…unfortunately it doesn’t just start with forgetfulness for me.

  16. says

    I don’t have children yet. I am 27. I fear having children for fear of being ‘That Mom’. Now that I know that it’s okay to be that mom, and that my children won’t be reported to CPS for receiving an apple and a Reese’s cup for lunch because their mother forgot that it was a week day, perhaps I will rethink having children. Perhaps I won’t fear it so much.

    Seriously though. They will probably be the children that receive Enya CD’s for sharing time because their mother doesn’t understand age appropriate music genres.

  17. says

    I would be such a horrible mother I wouldn’t be able to turn it into a funny story. We’re “childless by choice” for a reason (besides our extreme selfishness); I forget that I’ve left the dogs outside in the cold.

  18. says

    I don’t know. I don’t have kids, yet. However, I’m a huge planner and am fairly prepared for most things, but I’m also very forgetful (even with the planning) and have to make shit-TONS of lists for myself. I cannot rely on my brain to remember anything.

    Reading this post reminded me of my own mother, though. She worked her ass off all of our lives. That’s was partly to blame for her scattered personality. That was something great to see, though. The great thing about her, though. We never saw that she felt guilty. She might apologize about something, but she was always confident in what she had to do. I think that made a difference. She was always confident in who she was a person and a mom. So, I wouldn’t feel too bad about these things. When they see you hard-at-work scrambling, they know you care.

  19. Tania says

    Yay! you fixed my Amuse Bouche viewing problem!! I’m just totally curious but what was wrong and HOW CAN I AVOID THIS EVER HAPPENING AGAIN!!!

    • Brittany says

      OMG I KNOW. So apparently it was a a cache issue, and it’s now been fixed so that it should NEVER happen again. Ever.

  20. says

    I’m right there with ya. Let me tell you, you need to get an 18 year old sister who has nothing to do all day….there’s been many a times she’s helped me assemble valentines, treats, school projects etc. I hope she never gets a life…I don’t know what I’d do without her LOL!

  21. says

    I’ve been doing this for 19 years, sometimes I’m really good at being a mom and sometimes I’ve sucked! Also, a high mommy is a happy mommy. I’m the forgiving mom, cause mom’s need it too. Who am I kidding, all of use parents leave a scar of some sort on a child. Can’t avoid it but forgive and admit your mistakes. Over all, I feel pretty confident, I’ve only had one child arrested. Beats my record.

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