Andy and I took 4 days to slack off.
I didn’t make any important decisions, I ordered out every meal except for the giant punch bowls of cereal we ate at 11pm, I left the house in jeggings and giant Big Lebowski sweaters and unkept hair, I ignored school supply lists and physical forms, and I tried sashimi. It made my mouth dance. Other highlights include:
1. I watched the entire first season of Orange is The New Black. My thoughts…
a. Jason Biggs is irritating and I was relieved to google the real Larry and find out that he was actually not a douche bag in real life.
b. It took me a long time to reconcile Weed’s Dectective Ouellette as Orange’s Mr. Healy.
c. I’ve decided this is like The Sopranos, but in prison.
d. Sometimes Piper Chapman looks like a blonde Katy Perry.
e. I may be in the minority, but I hate Laura Prepon’s character. And I would forgive her never.
f. This is the first time ever I have adored Natasha Lyonne.
g. I have never compulsively brushed my teeth so much in my life.
2. I mastered cat eye eye liner. It took me over an hour, and by the end I had gone through 6 Q-Tips and my hands were covered in black smudges. This site was really helpful.
3. I planned a day trip to Ikea and then canceled it when I realized I had to pay the water bill when the guy came to the door all, if you don’t pay for this water I have to make it stop coming out of your faucets. I think the water company should take a cue from the satellite company and give me a warning shot before they show up all demanding. I understand they can’t flash a message across my television screen, but maybe if the water turned yellow when payment was due? Also maybe if they took things other than checks? The glaciers are melting, and I have to google how to properly work a checkbook.
4. I had an actual day sans kids and sent this text of grouped together letters and punctuation. I’d also like to nominate myself as next year’s chairwomen of the Anal Corn Fest Hare.
5. I watched Kinky Boots and fucking loved it. You must see this movie. You just must.
It was an amazing 4 days, but as of 12am last night/this morning, my siesta is over. Emails to be answered, big decisions to be made, back to school pageantry in full effect. Big girl work week. Fun stuff to chat about. Food to be made.
How does your week look?
*Marks calendar for next year’s Anal Corn Fest Hare*
Heather you just made me snort so loud I scared the dog. Hahahahaaaa
Heather has brilliance! Marking my calendar too. Is an Anal Corn Fest Hare kind of like the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil only when the hare sees its shadow after a long winter there will be no anal or corn for 6 more weeks? Or anal with corn?
I am spending today crying and missing my uterus since my baby has his last first day of school tomorrow.
There is something natural about anal and corn. Kinda like peas and carrots.
I binge watched the entire series of Orange is the New Black in two days. It was really good. I highly suggest you get to the end when you can.
Also note that Laura Prepon has eyebrows that look like they’re trying to escape to the top of her face and being a lesbian in prison looks sloppy (it may be sloppy or otherwise in the real world, I’ve just never seen it documented for reference)
:-)
I get to spend my week untangling myself from nursing school & withdrawing from the program despite having a 4.0 GPA …oh and kicking myself for missing the Anal Corn Fest.
Am I the only one that alternated between thinking “I would be such a bad ass in prison!” and “I would never survive that!”? Love OITNB but black hair and pale skin is not a good look for Laura Prepon.
Just started orange is the new black, and loving it! And yes Piper Chapman totally looks like a blonde Katy Perry!
I’ve spent 7 hours so far watching OITNB because of you. My hubby is working so this is what I’m doing (instead of prepping for year 5 of grass school… denial I guess).
You are not alone. I hate Alex on that show. She blows and she’s not likable at all. I’d have to say my favorite character is the tranny, and that I wish pornstache would go back to being Demetri from Weeds, because I still want to have sex with him, like, real bad.
Ok, I also adore Sophia. In truth, I love almost every character, the list would be shorter if I were to name the characters I hate.
And DAMMIT, now that you reminded me Pornstache was Demetri, I can’t unsee it, and now it’s hard to hate him.
My week is a 3 day week for work, then off Thursday & Friday. After my son’s ped neurology appt., it is game on for doing nothing!!!!! Woo.
I watched OITNB in a weekend. I couldn’t take my eyes off my tv, and by the end I could barely blink. I loved every. single. minute. I’m so pissed off that it’s going to be an eternity until the new season.
I’m totally on the hating Laura Prepon band wagon, but holy shit does she look good with black hair. Just sayin’
I threw my pie for you.
I drunk texted, on accident, my really religious friend “drunky punk” and she wrote back ???…then I got sober really quick…then laughed out loud and kept drinking. Lucky it wasn’t anything more scandulous.
I got hooked on OITNB after watching the trailer and the obsessed comments on FB from my friends. Cried myself to sleep when I realised I couldn’t get it in Australia. Have sense started reading the booked until I literally fall asleep every night to the glow of my kindle.
You are absolutely not the only person who hates Laura Prepon on OitNB! Can’t stand her character. Then again, I reached a point where I was sick of Piper by the end of it. Or I guess I should say, almost the end because the end I think she redeemed herself.
I watch for Red. She’s awesome.
yeh. hate her. i would never forgive her either.
Your water company only takes checks too! I thought my water company was the only one stuck in the stone age.
I pay my water bill online through my bank because the online system my water company has is too confusing and often results in unpaid bills. My bank does this “echeck” thing where you pay put in all your account information for the company and then how much you want to pay and then the bank either wires the money to the company from your checking account or cuts an actual check, depending on the company.
It’s the greatest thing ever. Especially for someone who tends to misplace her checkbook.
I actually love Alex on OITNB! I’ve never been a fan of Laura Prepon but her as Alex is so hot to me.
My favorite characters are Sophia, Red, and Crazy Eyes. I also enjoy watching Pensatucky be bat shit bananas crazy. And I think the relationship between Daya and Bennett is sweet, although the whole thing makes me nervous.
Now that I no longer have to wear glasses to see (yay LASIK!!) I, too, must master the cat eye.
HOLY SHOT!!! That was almost as funny as the anal corn fest hare. Oh autocorrect.
LOVE Kinky Boots. Best movie no one has heard of!!
L’Oreal Infallible Gel Eye Liner is brilliant for the cat eye look. Trust.
Glad you got some time to unwind! We all need that from time to time. Or forever.
My week is still up in the air… my adorable daughter turned 4 yesterday but she also got sick over the weekend so we’re still taking it easy and waiting for her to feel up to par and be able to really celebrate.
Its my birthday on Saturday though so there WILL be celebrating. Including the plans I have with a friend to go see City of Bones on Friday night!!
After 7 years being back in town, and of course going to the Corn Fest like I’m SUPPOSED TO, I have yet to get day-wasted in the beer tent. But I did not fail to get a raging sunburn that’s STILL peeling. So, yeah. Maybe next year?
Did you also notice that Red the Russian on OITNB is Captain Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager?