Toothless

by Brittany on March 13, 2012

in lowercase b, Parenting

Jude tooth callage

Jude lost his very first tooth this morning.

He was home sick, so he worked on it for hours.

We were very excited. I mean, I wouldn’t touch it, but like, I clapped from afar.

Except now we’ve come to the realization that we have no idea what happens next.

What are teeth worth these days?

Quarters? Dollars?

Lil Wayne performances and hummers?

What do I put under that fucking pillow!?

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

Michela March 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I have no idea the going rate these days…but WHATEVER you do….don’t forget. My kids had the only tooth fairy with alzheimers. It usually involved running to the room and shoving a couple of dollars into an envelope and dropping it on the floor by the head of the bed. “Oh look, you must have knocked it on the floor!”

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Steph March 13, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I have twins so they got a buck a tooth. Any more than that and you’ll realize that crap adds up fast! And it’s easier to remember – even a broke single mom like me always had a dollar or two around.

The bigger question is what to do with the teeth after the fact. I’m not proud to say I still have a ton of them lying around. In a jewelry box, in our junk drawer, etc. It was hard for me to just put them in the trash.

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Steph March 13, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Forgot to mention, the girls found my stash of teeth, which is how the illusion of the Tooth Fairy was shattered.

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DC March 13, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I can remember as a child being told not to put my tooth under my pillow b/c “so many other children lost a tooth that week and the now the tooth fairy was broke “.

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hdj March 13, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I have a “friend” who told my 4 year old (how old she was when she lost her first tooth) that the Tooth Fairy brings shoes and purses. When her tooth came out on a holiday and I wasn’t planning on going to the store for shoes and purses on my one day off (this was back when we had a commute) and my daughter got $1, my “friend” told her that the real Tooth Fairy must have been on vacation and there must have been a boy substitute that didn’t know the rule about shoes and purses. So, of course, the next tooth came out while we were camping for Father’s Day and we got through the tooth fairy doesn’t go camping and then she brought shoes and a purse Sunday night after returning home.
After that the Tooth Fairy brought “accessories” like rings and necklaces from Walmart or colored pencils or water guns or a whoopie cushion. I’ve done $1 for the teeth were I’ve given her money. I have friends that do silver dollars and I have other friends that do $5 for teeth pulled by the dentist for added pain and suffering (but only if the dentist needs to pull them – when the dentist is in there and you “want” him to pull it so you can get loot, that doesn’t count towards pain and suffering).
I only have one kid though.
Really I can’t wait until she has to explain this to her husband some day (what do you mean the tooth fair doesn’t bring accessories?)
I think the going rate these days is $1 though. But not as much fun as accessories.

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Katye March 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Girl, $1. My friend’s husband made the mistake of giving $5 and now she’ll spend $100 (or so) for each kid’s mouth. Insane. One friend does something cute–gives a $2 bill for each tooth. I guess you get those at the bank? Who knew?

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thepsychobabble March 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm

I used to do $.50, but my husband says that’s because I’m cheap. So now we do a dollar, but we make it fancy (when we can) and do a dollar coin.

Honestly, they are both horrible about keeping their money in their piggy bank, and it usually winds up coming back to me somehow:p

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Jen March 13, 2012 at 7:08 pm

In our house, teeth are worth a dollar but not just any dollar… a golden dollar.

Yup, we’re pimps like that.

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Rachel March 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I was going to suggest a silver dollar. If you get the new ones, they’re all shiny…

I like shiny things. I’m pretty sure I used to get a dollar. As for what to do with them, keep one or two for his scrapbook, then throw the rest away.

When I was in elementary school, our PE teacher was the resident tooth puller. When you had a loose tooth, you went to see Mr. Neal. This worked well for me, as I was (and still remain) more than a little squeamish about those things.

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ohjennymae March 13, 2012 at 7:12 pm

“we” give gold dollars. and sprinkle fairy dust. i happened to have some teeny tiny craft glitter that works perfectly. don’t let them write notes, though! you’ll be forced to answer unanswerable questions and have to draw pictures of “yourself.”

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Nellie March 14, 2012 at 2:21 pm

My daughter is 4 1/2 and still has all her baby teeth (knock wood!). I just love this idea of gold dollars and the “fairy dust.” I will definitely be doing this – thank you so much for such a clever and fun idea!

Yeah, notes to the Tooth Fairy – a big no for me! Knowing me, I’ll end up answering a letter not with one single sentence but with 4 pages of gibberish (I’m known to have diarrhea of the pen)!

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Anna Banana March 13, 2012 at 7:21 pm

When they are little, I always go for a handful of change. That way, they feel like they are getting lots of money and they get to sort out and play with the coins. Plus, you can usually scrounge around the house or car for loose change if you forget and have no cash when the tooth fairy is due!

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Shawndra March 13, 2012 at 8:08 pm

My last had it ruined for her..there is no tooth fairy, no Santa, no easter bunny. She knows it’s me and daddy doing it all. The tooth fairy regularly forgets to leave anything for a tooth, and that is fine.

For the older, fantasy smashing kids, they got dollars, special coins, and occasionally a special toy when the tooth was troublesome. I remember getting a kid a mermaid Barbie for an extraction.

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Kimm W. March 13, 2012 at 8:13 pm

My oldest got $5 for her first tooth, and gets $2 for all the rest. I was going to do $1 but was vetoed by daddy. Best thing we ever did was get tooth boxes. We leave them on the dresser instead of under pillows. My oldest is a very light sleeper, so we would have been caught no question.

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Lisa D March 13, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I put a dollar, mostly because I had no flippin’ idea where any change was in my house. The next day my kid wakes up, ecstatic, and he’s like, “I thought I’d get a penny!!”

I could’ve saved 99cents

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MFA Mama March 13, 2012 at 9:06 pm

At my house the Tooth Fairy leaves dollar bills. Apparently at Daddy’s house she’s been known to leave tens, but I’ve explained that the Tooth Fairy only has a certain amount per county, and there are fewer children where Daddy lives, so she can give them each more.

In the middle picture? Jude looks so much like Andy it’s CRAZY! Total clone.

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Amanda Mae March 13, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I don’t have children, but I was a nanny for a long time, and it is now my opinion that you should never give more than $1/tooth. ESPECIALLY since you have three kids. It’s a lot easier to be out $60 ($1/tooth) than $300($5/tooth).

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Sara March 13, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Let him put the tooth on his dresser or somewhere close to his bed, or you might be sweating it when you have to get the tooth. We use a little pillow with a pocket and we give $5, I know, it’s ridiculous!

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mom taxi julie March 13, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Take my advice and don’t give more than $1. You have 3 kids, that’s a lot of freaking teeth!

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mav76 March 13, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I agree with the dollar thing; we usually toss a handful of change under there. The main idea to instill in your kids, though, is that the Tooth Fairy will get around to bringing you something if you keep it under your pillow or in a glass of water next to your bed. DO NOT tell them the TF will come that very night cause you’ll totally forget on several occasions and we tooth fairies cannot be held to deadlines.

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Susan March 13, 2012 at 10:53 pm

I had to call my dad to see if I had the tooth fairy as a kid. I did, but apparently it wasn’t very memorable. I -do- remember getting to go shopping with my grandpa to pick out a My Little Pony when I lost my teeth.

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Melissa March 14, 2012 at 1:14 am

I only have one child, so I tend to spoil. I give 5 for a tooth that falls out and 10 for a tooth that has to be pulled. I feel bad for making her go through the pain. In your case, 1 a tooth is a good deal.

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Heather March 14, 2012 at 3:23 am

We did $5 for the first tooth and then $1 for each one after. If the tooth fairy “forgets” we tell them that she has SO many kids around the world to get to in one night, that she ran out of time and we will call her to remind her to come the next night :~)

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Kristi March 14, 2012 at 12:12 pm

There’s plenty of suggestions about amounts, but no one talked about the teeth. Personally, I think it’s a little gross to hang on to them forever, but in this day and age, I’ve actually heard of a lot of people keeping them in a sealed ziplock bag or something in a fire safe, just in case they need DNA from their kids. It’s a horrible thought, but better to be prepared.

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Emily March 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm

My folks always had us leave the tooth in a glass of water on the kitchen counter for “easy access” and the next morning there was four quarters in it. That way they didn’t forget about it and the tooth didn’t get lost in the bed, which I still find mildly creepy.

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Lori March 14, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I guess we’re cheap, but we leave a quarter per tooth. I have 4 boys so it adds up quick!

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Shylah March 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Emily got $2 bills. They’re obscure enough that she thought the tooth fairy was the only Person that had them.

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Elizabeth L. March 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I only got 50 cents as a kid, but I do remember getting $10 when I had to have two (very much not ready) teeth pulled. I also got some sort of small present (probably a beanie baby because, wow, those were THE thing in the mid 90s) when I started wearing headgear at night.

No kids yet, but I’ll probably go with a dollar. I like the idea of the dollar coins and I’ll probably do the $5 per extraction and small gift for getting braces/headgear/something else that’s incredibly painful.

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Heather March 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I hear the going rate is $1-$5, but the most important part is to leave some tooth fairy dust (aka glitter) behind.

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stephanie stevens March 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

oh, now that he has lost his 1st tooth, ALWAYS keep money on hand. It is a lucrative business anymore with kids. They will intentionally make teeth loose to get some cash. Well, my eldest son did, and it has a trickle down effect to the other kids. I always put glitter on their pillow, because their face is priceless in the morning. Then there was the time that I only had a $10..well needless to say all the kids and parents heard about it and it was expected. I am amazed at the lies you have to tell your kids to get them to “believe” in your tooth fairy lie..now my daughter writes her notes.. damn you Tinkerbell.

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Kristin March 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

My sister-in-law made a fairy house (a bird house painted and decorated with sparkly things – because we all know that fairies love sparkles…) for my daughter, so we leave the tooth in a tiny tooth box on the ‘porch’ of the fairy house. This saves my ass from having to rummage under her pillow in the dead of night to find that TINY little tooth. For her first tooth, she got $5 because, well, it was the FIRST tooth. For subsequent teeth, she’s gotten dollar coins – which, because the child has no concept of how money works, is much cooler than a $5 bill. I did make the mistake of writing a teensey-weensey note, tied with ribbon the first time and then had to explain that “the tooth-fairy must have been really busy, and didn’t have time to write a note” the second time around. I will shamefully admit, right here and now, that I had to raid my kid’s piggy bank once because she pulled her tooth right before bed and both me and the hubs had empty wallets…..Ah the joys of parenthood! :)

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Kathy March 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

first tooth $5, others after $1.. this only goes for front teeth. Those backs and molars do not count. If I couldn’t see it when they smiled, and it could not be photgraphed for future blackmail they get NOTHINGGGGG, muahahahaahahaahaaa!

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Kathy March 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm

also… sadly, by the time GiGi comes along to tooth-losin you will have forgotten the susequent $1 rule, or that tooth-losin is even important and totally get busted after the second or third day of forgetting!
Or, that was just me with my youngest son?
Hmmmm, another fail as the queen of all things motherly I spose’ !

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Jen March 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

My 7 year old daughter lost her first tooth on New Years Eve, because it was a holiday, and her first tooth, she got $5. She lost the second tooth about month later, and when she woke up, she counted out $3, and looked SOOOO disappointed- “I thought one of those was going to be a twenty.” And there I was, thinking $3 was too much! Hopefully someday when she’s older she will genuinely appreciate her position as the youngest child in the house, and Daddy’s Little Girl on top of that, because HE is the only reason there was more than $1 the second time.

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Heather March 14, 2012 at 7:49 pm

The tooth fairy gives a dollar if (!) the tooth is clean and shiny and the child has been taking good care of his teeth. (Ok, I, I mean, er, the FAIRY always just gave the damned dollar.) But? A good way to encourage them to brush well/floss.

One time, the silly tooth fairy didn’t have a dollar on her and she was a tired single-mom fairy who was no-way going out to get a flippin’ dollar so instead the child got a *special* voucher that she could trade for a small something at Toys “R” Incredibly Expensive and Made In China. That was a hit.

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Melissa March 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

We had a retared parent in kindergarten that left his kid an ipod when she lost her first tooth. Talk about setting the bar high. I had to explain that “your” toothfairy definately does not leave ipods. This toothfairy leaves Sacaguia (sp) gold dollars. Go to the post office and put $20 bucks in the stamp machine and buy one stamp. Viola…19 gold coins will be returned.

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Jennifer March 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I give $5 per tooth. They also get a quarter with their birth year ONLY if they pull the tooth themselves. Which they usually do because loose teeth totally freak me out! The quarter thing they love and it’s pretty special but it has led to panicked nights when a tooth is unexpectedly lost and there’s no 2001 or 2004 quarter laying around!

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Crystal March 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Our 7 year old lost her first tooth last week. She got $5 because she waited ‘forever’. Subsequent teeth are $1.

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Melitta May 31, 2013 at 2:22 pm

This silver dollar fairy dust thing is adorable! I don’t even have kids and I cant wait to do this!
I remember my parents giving me a dollar, and at one point i accidentally ate a tooth, and another time my brother lost it after jumping on my bed after i put the tooth under my pillow. I got 5 dollars for teeth the dentist had to pull out (not each, just as a group)
I remember my mom saving them in an envelop and recently tried to see if i could get them back (wanted to see if i could make molds of them, or draw them) but alas she finally threw them out.

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