I’ve said it before, but it’s still totally true, I just don’t sleep anymore.

Even when I am done with work and have absolutely nothing else to do except dick around online and change all the numbers in Andy’s iPhone so when he calls his mom he gets a proctology office.  And then, before you know it, I think I hear a ghost upstairs, and honestly, it just goes down hill from there.

Thank God for Netflix.

Here are my current picks for weird ass movies that get me through insomnia…

1.  Elvis & Anabelle. A dead Beauty Queen is brought back to life by a hot guy on the embalming table.  Ok, the first 10 minutes of this movie creeped me the fuck out, but then, it got really good, in a totally weird way, and even after it ended, I thought about it for days.  Also, Blake Lively was not at all annoying or Van der Woodseny in this film, shockingly.

2.  Wet Hot American Summer. A crazy shit fest of random awesomeness, also, Bradly Cooper marries Michael Ian Black, which is a personal fantasy of mine.  Listen, you are either going to love the fuck out of this movie, or shut it off mid way all, what the hell is this movie even about?!

3.  Kissing Jessica Stein. In my head, this is what my life would be like if I were a lesbian.  Also, best soundtrack ever.

4.  Waiting for Guffman. My love for Christopher Guest knows no bounds.  I am also completely unable to separate him from his characters and the normal looking guy married to Jaime Lee Curtis from the diarrhea yogurt commercials.

5.  Along Came Polly. Ok I think everyone on the planet hated this movie, but not me.  I just really love Philip Seymour Hoffman and a good shart joke.

6.  Hot Tub Time Machine. This falls into the Wet Hot American Summer category of, you are either going to love or hate this.  I loved it.  Every Crispin Glover laced second.

7.  Get Him to The Greek. I have only recently come to appreciate all that is Russel Brand, and I love this movie.  And now I want a furry wall in my house.

8.  The Jerk. One of my favorite Steve Martin movies.  Ever.  In fact it makes me forget he ever made L.A. Story and Bowfinger.

9. Penelope. This movie is magic to me, and Gigi and I watch it snuggled in bed. Nothing makes me happier than her wanting to be the brilliant girl with the pig nose.

Alright, that was my week in movies.  Weird, right? Any more suggestions?

Give me something else to do other than play the drinking game where I look up old friends on Facebook and guess if they are fat, bald or incarcerated.  There are no winners in that game.  I mean, aside from my self esteem.

 

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