Bought from mean dead lady down the street.
Smelled like cigarettes and Vick’s VapoRub.
She died of emphysema, and by the time they found her she was missing a finger.
They think her cat ate it.
They tried to sell us the cat with the car.
I hate cats. Especially corpse eating ones.
My car payment was $90 a month.
It took me over an hour, three creams, a blow dryer and a straightening wand to get my hair to look that bad.
That denim Gap skirt was a size 6/8.
A boy in my class called me fat every day.
I would love to be that fat again.
I was a victim of three rear endings in that car.
Not the sex kind.
Every time I turned on the heat it smelled like black lung.
I think the car was haunted.
Before I went to college I sold it to a vegan hippie who told me I looked like Elisabeth Shue.
She offered me $1100 and a bag of pot.
Love it!!! Especially the loafers. I’m sure I had pretty much the same outfit, but I drove a red Nissan Sentra that my older sister had broken in for me.
I had an ancient Mustang and hair that was HUGE mine too smelled of cigarettes but also of pond water for some reason.
I miss being that fat also, in High school I was a size 3 at my largest, now a 12-14 after two kids and life.
My first car was a brown 1982 Chrysler LaBaron that we called “the shitstain.” Someone had thrown a potted plant at it, so the hood was dented in like eight places…I had it for 3 months before the transmission blew up on the interstate on the way to the airport.
I hope you kicked that kid in the gonads.
I lucked out on my first car. My dad bought my mom a Nissan Altima to replace her POS Honda, but she was resistant to change, so I got the pretty car and she kept her dinged & dented Honda with the worn out floorboards.
Our Valedictorian had a yellow Geo Metro. She was so obsessed with the car and having no one touch it that during my end-of-senior-year pool party, 4 of my guy friends picked it up and moved it down the street.
It could have been worse. I had a 92 Ford Tempo for my first car. Yeah baby.
I also had those shoes… I’m pretty sure it was a requirement.
Ha Ha! Me too! That car broke me bown everywhere!
I swear I had those same platform loafters! My first car was a 1989 Toyota Supra and it was stick shift, felt like such a bad ass.
I had a comment ready, but it seems I’m just repeating everyone else when I say that I’m sure I had that same outfit, chunky shoes and all.
God, I wanted a Geo Storm so badly in high school.
Hell, I would probably drive the shit out of it now.
’79 Monte Carlo with duct tape on the hood to cover up the rust spots and tacks in the ceiling to keep the top from falling on me.
God I loved that car.
I. Love. Those. Shoes! (And I miss the 90s… a lot.)
You make me laugh so fucking hard. I love your blog. It is the highlight of my day!!! I love your sense of humor.
at least the Gap sales woman wasn’t the one calling you fat — the women refused to believe I was a size 2 and kept taking my jeans back and giving me me a size 12… I couldn’t get her to bring me the right jeans until my BFF and I both got into those jeans… at the same time! I was 5’2″ and 97 pounds at the time… and then she told me I was too wide to wear stripes!!! Hello, eating disorder and body image issues!
I wish I could go back and tell that 16 year old me I was not fat. Instead I tell my 16 year old cousin she is perfect everytime I see her, to try and counteract althose who tell her different.
Your hair is hawt!
LOL best stream of consciousness EVER!
Ahh to be that fat! I dream of it!! Then I eat a donut.
I remember when those cars came out and I thought they were so cool and wanted one. Sadly I was stuck with my step-dad’s mom’s old car, a 1980 Pontiac Sunbird. It was about the same color!
My first car was also a Geo Storm, but it was black with a fushia design down the side. I hated that car!
my first car was a 1974 mustang the color of a penny, with beige shag carpeting and beige corduroy seats. it was ugly as sin, but cheap, like $900 in 1982. i drove the hell out of it. i was not only bad- i was nationwide!
Another guilty confession. I had the shoes, too. Never could achieve the hair. Mine was too curly. Mine was a 1982 Celica. I loved that car, even though there was no air or heat, and the paint had come off the hood. That puppy was my freedom.
i’m pretty sure we all had those bangs in the 90’s. wtf were we thinking???
I had a red Geo Storm. Two weeks after I got it I rear ended a huge truck. My parents bought me a new hood, but never painted it. Somebody drew a big penis on the primered hood. That car was CLASSY!
THAT IS AWESOME. My first car was a blue Dodge Shadow. The brakes went out after a month of driving it, and you had to lift the steering wheel to start it but then lower it to drive it. Also, the radio worked when the car was off. It wasn’t supposed to though. No mechanic could figure out how, so we decided it was possessed.
My first car was a 1970-something turquoise blue Volkswagen Rabbit that my father paid $100 for. I’m guessing it was only 100 bucks because there wasn’t a front passenger seat. I drove around with a folding, aluminum lawn chair as a passenger seat for months (without that chair I could fit 10 high schoolers in that car!). Obviously, those were the days before seat belts, when gas cost less than a buck and nobody had straight hair, it was all big Madonna “Lucky Star” hair.
I miss those days.
My first car was a Geo Prizm. Geo makes the best first-time cars. For several different types of first-times & I will just leave it at that. The door handle on the inside was broken. So you had to roll down the window to open the door from the outside. But handle used to roll the window down was also broken & would only bring the window down about a 1/3 of the way. So then you had to push the window down as far as you could so you could reach the outside handle to get out of the car. Gosh I loved that car!
I had those shoes. And never wore socks with them. Ever. Even when it snowed. Lol.
I had that same car!!!!!!!!!
Awww! My first car was a ’92 Geo Storm Hatchback. Red. Had 3 accidents in 6 months. That thing was built like a tank! I was 19 and thought I was fat. *sigh* I’d love to be that fat again! But not the car, that I don’t want back again:) Ha-ha! The back two windows popped out! Great picture!
My first car was an 88 T Bird with no a/c (I lived in McAllen, TX and it should have been mandatory) but my dad had a thing for tank cars. My senior yr someone keyed the work Bitch in 2 foot letters across the trunk and then another time someone hit it on the passenger side door. I didn’t notice either until my dad pointed it out to me….can you say oblivious? I finally wrecked the beast in my second year of college but I have a special place in my heart for big tank like cars with blind spots all over the place, as I was able to walk away with out a scratch.
I ironed my hair in HS (with a real iron) and dressed like Courtney Love and went to Mexico to drink every night. I’d miss those days if I could remember them…
My first car was a 95 Dodge Neon. Red. I bought it for about $3000 cash. Loved that car. Some jerk in a Jeep Grand Cherokee pulled out into traffic and totaled it. (His tank of an SUV was barely dented.)
I remember being sooo jealous that you got a Geo Storm. I thought they were the cutest car ever! LOL!
My first car was a 1992 Geo Metro convertible, white with a black top. I thought it was the shit for a while, then I grew up some and realized it was just a piece of shit. No power anything, no ABS, no a/c, window handles always fell off, the paint never had a clear coat so eventually dirt started staining it, so tiny that I could have been crushed by just about any other car on the road… Still, I enjoyed it for its awesome gas mileage (back when gas was dirt-cheap the summer of ’99, I could fill up for less than $7) and the fact that it could fit into any parking space ever. It was fun, too, having a convertible, even though it leaked and it flew open once at 75 mph on the highway (I could have taken flight like a kite, but luckily, I was ok). That car tried to kill me so many times (though I was never in an accident in it or any other car, knock on wood) that I alternated between calling it Death Trap and Rollerskate. Eventually it ran out of oil due to a leak I wasn’t aware of, and the engine seized on the highway during rush hour, on my way to work one day. Poor little feller. Lasted me 5 years.
My first car was a 1992 Geo Metro convertible, white with a black top. It was such a POS but it was a fun car too. I loved its gas mileage and that it could fit into any parking space anywhere. Back in the summer of ’99, I could fill that gas tank for less than $7. Once the convertible top blew open – on the highway – at 75 mph. OMFG. That car was such a death trap, but luckily, I survived and was never in an accident (in that car or any since, knock on wood). Eventually after about 5 years, it ran out of oil due to a leak I wasn’t aware of, and the engine seized – again, on the highway – during rush hour. Funsies! Good times, good times.
such a radical first whip. You look so 90s it’s completely AMAZING. I would have killed to be that fat in high school. I was actually, actual fat in high school.
My first car was a 1978 Dodge Aspen!! my second car was a red Geo Storm, I had it forever and then gave it to my sister, she gave it to someone else when the transmission went out, I think the guy who has it now works at a gas station near my house, it still has my stickers on the bumper!
Let me tell you, I would just love to be as fat now as I was in high school!!! and I would also just love to know what the hell I was thinking!?@# lol
I’m too distracted by your chunky loafers. I loved those shoes. I can’t wait for them to come back.
I wanted a GEO Tracker SOOO badly, until I saw the creepy morbidly obese man from the neighborhood cruising around town in one, it lost it’s appeal. My next favorite was the good ol’ Ford Probe, I remember that Joey T. (my highschool crush) drove a white one, and it was LOVE at first sight…the crush lasted forever, until I finally dated him for a couple months and found out that not only was he completely OCD but was a germophobe and would only have sex in the shower because it was “icky”… We’re still friends, but we don’t bump uglies anymore. So, my first car was a 1989 Dodge Dakota AKA The Dumpster… It was amazing, and had the longest bed on the planet, it smelled like a mechanic’s coveralls, it overheated ALL the time, and I about died in it at least 8 times. I passed it down to my brother and then he scrapped it for $500 bucks which he used to buy weed. RIP Dumpster…you will be missed.