At first I thought I didn’t want to go because I had a bad experience there, but then I remembered that wasn’t me, it was the show Weeds.
Plus it will be a nice break from people asking me about period sex.
However, because I’m incapable of doing things like “relaxing” or “not working,” I’ll also be on CNN Showbiz Tonight (I’ll let you know when) and writing on the beach to meet a deadline for my book agent I’ve not told you about yet, aka where my brain has been for months, oh and posting and instagramming and facebooking and twittering, and all the other crap I am wont to do.
We will have access to a yacht, which frankly made me want to barf, but I find the possibility of recreating the Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez Jenny from the Block butt kiss almost too tempting to pass up.
Hmmm… way fucking racier than I remember. And I don’t have a belly chain.
I guess we can hold our breaths on instagram for that, right dad?
I haven’t been to Mexico since my Junior year of High School, and all I really remember from that trip is Senor Frogs and throwing up next to a zillion year old ruin. I expect this getaway to end better.
But since it’s been forever, any tips? Will they confiscate my vibrators at the airport? Do we still not drink the water?
I take the batteries out and wrap the vibrators inside my clothing, but I put them in my checked luggage, no experience with carry on.
Do not EVER drink the water!! Bottled water is cheaper than the effects Montezuma’s Revenge will bring on and totally fuck up your vakay.
I, too, forgot how racy Bennifer was!! Thanks for that!
CANNOT wait for CNN AND THE BOOK!! As for book–it’s about freaking time a publisher woke up and smelled the GREATNESS!!
Have fun and BE SAFE (in my best Edward Cullen penmanship.)
I KNEW IIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! :) Have fun!
I could not drink the water when we went…hello Charlotte from Sex and the City, so I’d pass. Plus never take the first price they give you if using a tax…those m’fers are ridiculously overpriced. Oh, and bargain and haggle your way into some great souvenirs. Drink too much and always take advantage of the all inclusive free drinks every day
Yay you!! I want all the juicy details next time you visit! (If I’m not on your book tour I’ll be crushed btw.)
No water from the tap. And no kids that does not mean you can’t brush your teeth. Teeth brushing is fine. Drinking is not. And as long as your vibrators aren’t actually vibrating at the airport you’ll be fine. I recommend taking the batteries out and storing them separately. Also: if you do recreate the butt kiss instagram it for those of us chained to a cubicle?
Have fun!
Sorry, stuck on the part where you mention a book agent. Congratulations!! I’m excited to read whatever it is you’re working on (and also a wee bit jealous)!
Have fun in Mexico. Post pics, I’ve never been there.
Haggle for everything–it’s socially acceptable there, so have fun with it, even if it is just over a few cents. Awesome news about the book! You are way better at keeping secrets than I am.
No they won’t take your vibrators, no matter which bag you put them in. No you don’t want to drink the water. However the resorts will use filtered water and bagged or filtered ice. You really don’t need to worry about most restaurants because they don’t want their patrons sick…watch out for the mom and pop , hole in the wall, roadside cart type places thiugh. Those won’t be using filtered water and bagged ice. The easiest way to combat it though is tequila. So just drink alcohol and you will be just fine. I travel to Mexico a lot and grew up 100 miles from the border…trust me I have this down to an art.
Have a wonderful time!
I’ve never been to Mexico or traveled on an airplane with vibrators, so no comment.
I miss the days of Bennifer! Haha
Lol you’re awesome. Enjoy your “vacation” if that’s what you can call it. Maybe more “work from an exotic location.”
It’s not just the water to avoid…it’s the ice! You don’t think about that when ordering a margarita. Although some of the high end resorts have better filtration, it’s still better to be safe than sorry.
Also, DO NOT DRINK THE ORANGE JUICE AT THE RESTAURANT AT THE AIRPORT WHEN YOU’RE EATING BREAKFAST WAITING FOR YOUR FLIGHT OUT OF MEXICO. It has been made from concentrate WITH THE TAP WATER, which they won’t tell you. But your digestive tract will tell you for the next 10 days. Trust me.
Worst souvenir ever.
So excited for you about the book!! Where in Mexico are you headed?
I always pack my vibrators right on top of everything. If they want to go through my bags might as well have some fun with it. Have an amazing trip!!
NEVER drink the water!! Brush your teeth with bottled water just to be safe. Also, when I’ve been in Mexico with my family we take Pepto Bismol twice a day even if we don’t need it. What it does is coats your stomach so you don’t get sick. This has kept me from getting sick ever since I had a really bad bout with food poisoning from the ice in a questionable place (Airport). When buying something ALWAYS barter. If you pay the price they ask for… SUCKER!! If they say it’s $20, offer $10 and work your way to the middle. Don’t take a lot of cash. Use your credit card when possible and you can always take money out of the ATM. Just make sure your password is only 4 digits. When you take cash, make sure you have small bills from $20 and lower. That way when you barter, tell him you only have $10 and they are more likely to take it. Keep money in different places on you, not just in your purse. Some of the criminals try to cut open your purse and take your wallet. This happened to my mom, but she didn’t keep her money in her purse so she was fine. Have Andy keep his wallet in his front pocket. He is less likely to have his pocket picked if it’s in the front. Other than that….ENJOY!!!
Don’t bring drugs…or drink the water. Otherwise; you’re golden!
Fair warning trying to come back from Mexico, though. They opened up every piece of luggage, including checked bags, in front of everyone once. Including my husband’s coworkers. I was terrified they would find BOB. Thankfully they weren’t very thorough :)
I’m sorry. What did you say? I’m mesmerized by that video . What is he. Flinging? Oh…have fun!
Throughout the day and night since reading this, I’ve had the following line pop into my head at random intervals, “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I’ve got, I’m still I’m still Jenny from the block…”
So, thanks for that. I think?
Belly chains FTW!! Have fun!
So you’re about the only writer I know that doesn’t hire one of those skywriting planes to broadcast the book agent acquisition. Congrats! Can’t wait to hear more about it.