Seriously, guys, be thankful you are not married to me.

This morning, out of sheer exhaustion, Jude and I went through the drive-through at McDonald’s to get pancakes for the kids and a smoothie for me.

The car in front of us was yelling into the order box hole.

Number 4s were being confused with 6s and honestly, how is this the state of food?

When our turn came, I was ultra nice to her, and pulled ahead to wait to pay.

Behind us was a guy, probably in his fifties or sixties, with a coon hound in the passenger seat of his truck.

He ordered quickly and moved ahead.

When it was my turn to pay, Jude and I decided to also pay for the old man behind us.

A random act of kindness on a lovely fall day, if you will.

I’d like to pay for ours, and for the man behind us.

Oh is he your dad?

No.

Oh, just a friend?

No.

So you are gonna pay for him when you don’t know him?

Yes.

Why?

To be nice?

That’s weird.

This conversation is weird.

*squinty suspicious eyes*…

Let’s go back in time, yes, he’s my dad, we drove separate, and I want to pay for his food.

How can he be your dad, he’s black?

I’m adopted.

Honestly folks, I’m scared.  For everyone.

This week I broke Andy’s heart by telling him I wouldn’t go to Korea with him.  It just was like Casablanca.  Then I stirred the pot a bit, showing you I am not the person you want talking to your undecided teenager about college.  I also gave you a fucking brilliant recipe, showed you the funniest picture I had ever seen, and decided to create my own non-profit female youth organization, mostly centered around drinking and being awesome.

Speaking of which, my reader, Lady Jabberwocky, sent me this last night when she says she was high on Nyquil.   And girl, you better watch out, because if I ever meet you (and I pray to God you don’t look like a real Jabberwocky, because that shit freaked me the fuck out when I was young), I am going to open mouth kiss you for this…

Pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Now for the cool shit I found on the internet this week:

Dear guys.  This dude just ruined EVERYTHING for you.

Two awesome things, Fight Club and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

How Law & Order SVU just got awesomer.

This was funnier at 2am than it is probably right now.

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