Just like her mama.
We have a secret.
But we aren’t telling yet.
Soon.
It’s kinda big. In every literal sense of the word.
Dun, dun dunnnnnnnn.
This week in Brittany Land, I explained vaginas to children, I used BOOBIES to teach math, and then someone tried to give me their broken cat over cold fish and awkwardness.
Also, as an FYI, Andy gets irritated when I can’t sleep so I pull up Pinterest and pin things that, according to him, I will never EVER make, do, or buy. So, this weekend I made meatloaf with this and this, and then gave the kids a glow stick bath. IN YO FACE, GIBZ.
Speaking of Pinterest, I may have mentioned in the past how I feel about pudding pops…
OMG I KNOW THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.
A big shout out to Rebecca for showing me this hilarious site. Andy doesn’t talk in his sleep. He chews. It’s as disgusting as it sounds, I’m shocked I’ve let him live this long.
Now on to awesome shirts I want to own.
Because, I’m officially that person.
Ok, ok. This one isn’t for me. It’s for Andy. 5 more days.
Remember! Check out the latest episode of Brittany & Meredith Live! Episode 8 just proves…Ray J isn’t the only person peeing all over everybody on leaked grainy sex tapes.
Also, catch up on The Brittany Emails, updated courtesy Mr. Gibbons.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
5 MORE DAYS!!!
OMG what is the surprise? Are you moving to Jersey or did you finally get your own reality show? Or are you getting a new baby from China?
Well I don’t think you’re pregnant…
O.M.G. I totally want a glow stick bath…
I really love that glowstick bath. I will definitely want to try that with Ethan.
I pretty much died laughing at the Sleep Talk’n Man. Thank you for introducing me to more hilariousness!
omg, of all people, how did you not know about STM??
Love your blog.
I’m so glad to know what to call it when I pee myself because at 36 weeks pregnant it’s happening, no shit, like on the daily. A “physical miscommunication” . . . sounds way less unintentional than an accident. And Oprah’s been telling me I need to live intentionally so things were getting awkward around here. It really only works in a Bristish accent though, but mine is super Cockney which makes me self-concious. Not that peeing myself doesn’t. Maybe I’ll just stay home for the next 24 days instead of peeing myself in public and then telling the poor guy mopping the Walmart aisle that “It’s awlraight . . . ’twas only a physcial miscommunication, it was, it was.”
I was going to be like, “OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE PREGNANT!”
But that’s fairly little. And you’ve mentioned Andy’s “back-alley vasectomy” at least twice that I can remember. So, assuming it wasn’t TOTALLY botched, you’re not knocked up.
So I will wait in eager anticipation.
PS – Am I still on for tomorrow’s show?
1. The pic of Gigi is to die for. 2. Pudding pops were the highlight of my childhood. And now that you know me, you can see what I’m talking about…best part of visiting my grandma. Hands down!
Our boys equipment was known as a “hamama” (pigeon in Arabic) when they were younger. Then they started with the scientific “penis”. NOW that they are teens, the word “dick” flies around a lot more frequently than it should. (Usually when their father is not home because he is extremely proper and would lay into them over it.) They all LOVE the word testicles, so they’ll bounce that one around a lot. But from time to time, they say BALLS just to get on my nerves.
The girls…they used to call it a “Kat-koot” (baby chick in Arabic) but now they just say HOOHOO or bottom. They know its a vagina…but they don’t like to get the hairy eyeball and giggles that those words bring on in their brothers. Boys can be so retarded sometimes. *sigh*
You should know that I hate surprises. So I’m impatiently waiting and pretending to be all huffy about it even though in my head you are still my long-lost BFF.