You know that thing you did when you were younger, that you’d never want your own kids to do?
I think mine is this.
This is Andy and I, completely drunk, on the school Spanish trip to Cancun, probably a whole 4 seconds before we tried to lose our virginity and Andy threw up tequila. We were 16.
First, who the hell justifies a Spanish class trip to Cancun!?
Second, how on Earth did I talk my parents into letting me go!?
Never. My kids will not be repeating history on this. I don’t care how much better this will help them hablar espanol.
What will your kids never do?
Hang out in a trailer park with 20 year olds drinking Red Dog until they vomit burger king all over the place. And then one of the 20 year olds tries to kiss them. Ugh. What was I doing?!
We may be kindred spirits. This sounds disturbingly just like a lot of my nights as a teen lol.
Um, do I know you? We may have partied together in high school, is all I’m saying.
There will be no sleepovers after, say, age 8. Nothing good happens at them.
No prom night sleepovers. I will pick them up from the prom in my station wagon with the wood panel siding.
Definitely no sleepovers as teens. Unless it’s at my house.
Definitely no spring break trips with friends during high school. And definitely not with my car. (Yeah, my mom let us use her car!)
Definitely no purchasing of booze for my teens and their friends. (Yeah, again, thanks mom!)
I think mine will be banned from leaving the house post-puberty. Seriously, it is completely frightening where all the little penises will end up. Where will my son put his, and which ones will end up near my daughter???? Ugh!
I will always confirm that parents will be home when there is a sleep over and that they know my kid is staying there.
I once “escorted” a charter plane full of high school seniors to Cancun for Spring Break. Never. Nevernevernevernever. One of the girls got so drunk she passed out on a city bus and was left there by “friends” all night. I still shudder when I think of what could have happened. Another broke a foot on a booze cruise, another left her purse in a cab and lost all her money. Another ended up with very severe sunburn (think gray skin). No idea what was wrong with their parents that they not only okayed the trip, but paid for it! Likely some still have livers in rebellion.
I will also have very strict zero-tolerance driving rules.
Oh, and girls are the devil. No girls :) (yes, I’m a girl…….but I’m also the mama, which automatically makes me a saint)
Okay, so not only did I not get into anything scandalous in high school, I was clueless that it was even going on! I am screwed when my kids are teenagers.
Me too O_o
Me three!! Luckily my husband screwed up enough.. I just tell him we are raising the kids based on what HE did.. lol
Allow my son or daughter to go to Cancun on spring break ALONE with three other 17-year old girls for a week. Worst parental decision ever. Then they had to let my sister go because, you know, I went and all. Lots of debauchery, not to mention tattoos in dirty parlors, where yes, they had an autoclave, but it wasn’t turned on.
My parents let my brother move into a room in the detached garage. BAAAAAD idea. Bad bad bad idea.
I fear I might have to start driving my sons to sleep overs. Because I was not always at Christy’s house like I said I was. And there were always things she would have shot me for being passed around. My husband still glares at his best friend for giving me my first smoke. And I quit smoking years ago!
I will personally walk my teenager into school and to their first class to ensure that he made it there. I skipped so much in high school, I should still be there trying to make it up.
They’ll just be like me and leave at lunch lol
Attend Michigan Tech. Hubs and I both went there. None of our children are allowed there. Especially the girl!!!
Never, ever allow my daughter to be taken advantage of because of lack of self esteem. I will do everything in my power now to instill a healthy dose of self esteem to carry her through to adulthood.
Also — No Sleepovers, No Going Away to College (I’d rather you waste my money on stupid shit in front of me rather than many, many miles away!), No Spring Break Traveling unless supervised by a responsible adult, No Office/Work Romance and No driving to and from a party where you know you’ll be drinking – I’ll call a cab or drive you myself without speaking of it till the next day when you are hungover and I am screaming in your face. :O
Sleep out after prom. What the fuck was my mother thinking?
oh and I almost forgot. Make a copy of my birth certificate with the birth year retyped so that she can take a plane to Montreal and drink at 17 where everyone pretends to only speak french and the stripper dudes get completely nekkid.
that either.
No hotel rooms after prom/homecoming.
How the hell did we get/pay for/be allowed to stay in seedy motels!!
I think the same thing, I don’t remember any of us being over 18. Eventually by prom my boyfriend was 20 but up until then no idea how it happened
Ohhh, this has me freaking out. All four years of high school were spent doing things I would be horrified if a child of mine did. I don’t have children yet, but I am already dreading the teenage years. Things I will be forced to do: lock their bedroom doors and windows so they can’t sneak out to smoke and hang out with boys, chaperone school field trips so they can’t do drugs on them, accompany them to class so I make sure they actually go, call in the middle of the night to make sure they’re staying where they think they are, and NEVER EVER go out of town and leave them to throw big out-of-control parties. Actually, screw it – they don’t get to leave the house after age 10. :)
i hope to hell my kid NEVER hitch hikes. in high school me and my girlfriends used to do it ALL.THE.TIME. i think back now..and i can’t believe we used to do that crap :/ scary
Oh God. They will NEVER inject a watermelon with a 5th of vodka with needles stolen from the local ER when one of us faked an injury so the rest could grab the them……after typing that I think I’ll keep the rest to myself *ahem* Im totally fucked.
Never, never, ever sleep over somewhere after the prom! My mom must have been crazy to buy the story I spun to get out.
Go on spring break alone. My mother went with me on my senior trip to Destin, FL (oh, yes she did) with some other moms and their daughters, and we all stayed in a hotel 30 minutes away from the cool kids who were alone. I was appalled at the time, but still got drunk enough that something bad could have happened to me even with my mommy there on my spring break. At the time I was HORRIFIED, but now know she had the right idea. I’m not going to turn out to be just like my mother, I’m going to be much, much worse.
Um…hitchhike to Florida for a week. Yeah. Or hitchhike anywhere for that matter.
Is it okay or completely pervy that I’m sort of in love with your boobs in this picture. I mean, you’re only 16, so it feels wrong. On the other hand, I still majorly miss my own 16 year old boobs, so maybe it’s okay?
Dude. I miss them. And, the way they used to hang all pretty and above my belly button.
I need a drink.
Band bus trips after dark. Not happening, there are too many dark corners to hide and get away with crap. I will drive to the away games and pick my child up afterward.
It involves professional athletes, a hotel, some cop cars and handguns at the airport. My mother still doesn’t see the humor in any of it. Ah, youth.
I love the picture, you and Andy look sooo innocent! And just exactly how many other guys were in that picture with you….looks suspicious.
It was suspicious. WAY TOO SUSPICIOUS.
Not hire a stripper for a friend’s sweet 16 birthday at a kegger party in her parents’ basement.
I will not let them leave the house once they are 12. Seriously, I grew up on Long Island and we drank at the beach, in the woods, we slept out on the sod farms and got drunk and we were the GOOD kids with good grades and parents who were involved…add to that simply having sex anywhere including my parents family room couch while they were home and in their bedroom. Oh and they won’t go to a party college, mine was the #1 party school the year i attended and I would like to think I played even a small part in our achieving that status and my grades showed it!
Leave them at home alone while I go stay anywhere else. My mom was dating my stepdad when I was in high school and would sometimes go stay at his house with my little brother and leave me at home alone. It’s a good thing I was a good kid.
My friends’ parents checked up on them 24/7 to find out where they were. Mine didn’t. We’d say we were going to a movie, and the first thing we did was run by the theater to pick up dropped ticket stubs off the lobby floor to leave in their parents’ kitchens, as proof of where we’d been. Movies were great, too, because it meant we weren’t expected to call and check in for a couple hours. Then we’d get on the road to where we were ACTUALLY going.
But we had a rule. “If you’re gonna lie to your parents, you better trust yourself.” It meant that if our parents didn’t know what we were up to, then we better take all the safety precautions we needed to, have a backup plan, and know who else we could call if we couldn’t call home. We didn’t always ABIDE by this rule, for the pull of Bad Boys was eternally strong, but I like to think it kept us out of SOME trouble. And it was good preparation for adulthood, aka The Age Where No One Ever Knows Where You Are, Unless You Are Married.
for the most part i was a good kid… but the sex, drugs and drinking are all part of growing up. our kid is only four at the moment, but our plan right now is to keep an honest, clear and consistent dialogue going with her (whether she likes it or not)- make sure she knows all the real information and that she’ll know she can always come to us for information or help. i mean, all in reason- but drinking PBR and smoking a joint isn’t the end of the world. hopefully the open and honest atmosphere will take some of the thrill out of rebelling… right? yeah, right! haha
My kids will never put all of their clothes in the back of a 1978 Firebird along with 4 friends and 2 half gallons of Jack Daniels and some stuff in a baggie and go to Florida and hang out with Air Force dudes…Sigh..good times, good times…
Man. I’m so screwed. I was the “good kid” – whenever someones parents questioned whether they could go somewhere – they always asked if I was going – and that was the standard on which my friends could go to things, because I was the responsible, good one.
You know, definitely not the one rolling the joints while yelling CHUG CHUG CHUG.
AND I WAS THE RESPONSIBLE ONE.
So. Freakin’. Screwed.
Reading these comments is basically awesome birth control. Thanks for that.
You know that one kid, the one who gets along really well with the parents? The one that stays sober because all her friends are drunk and someone has to drive home? The one who doesn’t get high because hey, we’ve known these guys for 2.5 seconds, maaaaaaybe one of us should stay clean so we don’t, oh I don’t know, get chopped up into little pieces by the pretty boy with the good hair and the leather jacket and omg how does a 19 year old GET that much weed? Yeah, I was that kid.
I’m screwed.
Your post could not have come at a more fear inducing time. I just walked in the door from registering my oldest child from high school. Since my nerves were completely shot with anxiety due to fear my own high school antics being repeated, I decided to check out your blog TO EASE THE STRESS. I think I will go throw up now and have a six pack.
My daughter is not allowed to have a mail key. I intercepted so many notes! BUT now there is email. Darn!
OMG I love that picture. You should post more old pics of you and Andy to show, that, ya know…ya love each other and you both have crazy memories.
oh gosh I am pretty sure my daughter will never be aloud out of my husbands sight. He and I were also high school sweethearts so we know all to well what the other did at a way to young age and OMG why the hell did my parents trust me so much.
We will never let one of her boyfriends convince us that he is so sweet and trustworthy and thus allow her to go away on spring break trips and senior trip with this so called trustworthy boy:) I guess my dad is lucky this boy grew up to be a wonderful hubby and daddy himself and I am pretty sure my dad was laughing his butt off when he discovered we were having a daughter because he knew we would get our payback (even if he doesn’t know what all for)
Maybe I just shouldn’t have daughters… boys only. Can I control that??
Skip school to drive to vegas on a weekly basis.
Foam parties.
I will never let my children go to Tijuana while in high school to party because the drinking age there is 18. Seriously, I sometimes wonder what I was thinking! NOT smart for 3 girls to go and get wasted in TJ twice a week, we are lucky we didn’t end up getting arrested by the Federales.
They will never hitch hike back and forth across town with their best friend on a Friday night just for fun until a weird creepy old guy with a warm six pack of black label leans over and pinches your 15 year old nipple.
Where to start…
– if there’s a tree outside my daughters 2nd floor window, I will cut it down and brick up the window
– going to post-prom sleepover? never gonna happen
– a different set of rules for my son? sorry kid, same rules as the sister
also, sorry kids, we’re not going out of town so you can have pool parties w/ kegs
Funny.. all i could think was “wow her boobs look AMAZING i can’t believe nobody is mentioning that” .. then i saw Melissa did.. so i wasn’t alone! seriously…Nice tatas!
Too late! My baby boy is almost 21 and in a band.With the damn internet, he is all over the place and thinks (knows) he is a freakin sex god! Ugh! At least he is older than I was when I had him. I cannot be a Grandma this young! Good lord, help me!!
Dude. You guys are SO cute! Awesome tank tops all around!
Our Spanish Teacher took a group of students to Cancun her first year teaching and never did it again. I might have learned to say more than “Donde el bano?” if someone would have offered to take me to Cancun.
I won’t let my girls work at a fast food joint that has pervy 20 year olds in management. I also won’t let them work at the local pharmacy and deliver meds to the nursing home, (lots of shit never got delivered). I will also try to to villianize their bad boy boyfriend causing him to be extra appealing. Which also justified me moving out in the middle of the night to live with him because, I thought I couldn’t be with him any other way. Jeez I was stupid. BTW, I lived with him for three years, and can’t believe I survived all the partying!
FOUR ON THE FLOOR! I will not give my kids stupid amounts of freedom because I trust them and they’re, like totally good kids. Right? No sleepovers with her boyfriend’s little sister. Seriously parents? And my sweet, little daughter with her big brown eyes and bouncy piggytails will not be prancing around in daisy dukes in a cute little sports car in12 years. OH. MY. GOD. 12 years?!? I’m going to have a panic attack now. Good night.
Can I just say, you had really great boobs for 16. I’m 32 and mine are just starting to look good. :)
i’ll never let my daughter leave on a date without first making sure the person picking her up sees me cleaning a firearm/sharpening a knife/wiring explosives/rambling on about the instability of society and how “accidents” happen. i don’t generally overreact, but he won’t know that.