Andy and I took 4 days to slack off.
I didn’t make any important decisions, I ordered out every meal except for the giant punch bowls of cereal we ate at 11pm, I left the house in jeggings and giant Big Lebowski sweaters and unkept hair, I ignored school supply lists and physical forms, and I tried sashimi. It made my mouth dance. Other highlights include:
1. I watched the entire first season of Orange is The New Black. My thoughts…
a. Jason Biggs is irritating and I was relieved to google the real Larry and find out that he was actually not a douche bag in real life.
b. It took me a long time to reconcile Weed’s Dectective Ouellette as Orange’s Mr. Healy.
c. I’ve decided this is like The Sopranos, but in prison.
d. Sometimes Piper Chapman looks like a blonde Katy Perry.
e. I may be in the minority, but I hate Laura Prepon’s character. And I would forgive her never.
f. This is the first time ever I have adored Natasha Lyonne.
g. I have never compulsively brushed my teeth so much in my life.
2. I mastered cat eye eye liner. It took me over an hour, and by the end I had gone through 6 Q-Tips and my hands were covered in black smudges. This site was really helpful.
3. I planned a day trip to Ikea and then canceled it when I realized I had to pay the water bill when the guy came to the door all, if you don’t pay for this water I have to make it stop coming out of your faucets. I think the water company should take a cue from the satellite company and give me a warning shot before they show up all demanding. I understand they can’t flash a message across my television screen, but maybe if the water turned yellow when payment was due? Also maybe if they took things other than checks? The glaciers are melting, and I have to google how to properly work a checkbook.
4. I had an actual day sans kids and sent this text of grouped together letters and punctuation. I’d also like to nominate myself as next year’s chairwomen of the Anal Corn Fest Hare.
5. I watched Kinky Boots and fucking loved it. You must see this movie. You just must.
It was an amazing 4 days, but as of 12am last night/this morning, my siesta is over. Emails to be answered, big decisions to be made, back to school pageantry in full effect. Big girl work week. Fun stuff to chat about. Food to be made.
How does your week look?