Dear Andy,
I knew that when you took me out for hibachi and I ordered the shrimp and steak, and you ordered the chicken, but I couldn’t finish mine because I still had diarrhea from the undercooked chicken I accidentally made us all eat the night before, that you would regret not ordering steak and shrimp and steal my leftovers.
And, I have four words for you, Andy Gibbons.
I’m super ashamed of you right now. We all are. Collectively.
Love,
Brittany and the entire internet
Who the fuck goes out for hibachi and orders chicken? Its like the non-vegetarians who order the vegetarian option. Not in the restaurant people, not in the restaurant. Who was he trying to fool?
I know, if I didn’t already know better, I’d assume he had a vagina.
I’m pretty sure my husband only married me for my leftovers, I’ve never met someone that loved leftovers as much as him.
I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m with my partner. He always big-eyes it and I get all his scrumptious leftovers. I think he’s still kind of in awe to watch me devour that much food. ><
Me and my husband have the same damn problem!! DONT TOUCH MY LEFTOVERS OR I’LL CUT YOU! ugh.
Hate hate hate when that happens. I’ve had to make angry phone calls to work…that is what I suggest you do as well. lol!
Every time I have leftovers, I issue dire threats about the bodily harm that my husband will incur if he touches them. And every time he waits a few hours – sometimes even until the next day, when the delicious taste is just a memory – then fixes me with this innocent stare and asks after the leftovers. And I cave. Every. Damn. Time.
My husband knows that if he goes anywhere near my leftover shrimp and rice, I will stab him with a fork. He’s got the tine marks to prove it!
I rarely have leftovers, but here is my issue…
“I want a #1 with fries and a drink”
“ok I’m just going to get a burger”
“are you SURE you don’t want fries??”
“yeah, I’m trying to eat better”
5 minutes later when we get the food he’s reaching into the bag to eat half of my fries….JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T ORDER THEM DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT. IF YOU EAT THEM, IT STILL COUNTS. JUST ACCEPT THAT YOU WANT FRIES AND ORDER YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!
Preach.
I wish my hubs would wait for me to have leftovers before he ate my food… I developed a twitch where I stab at him with my knife if he goes anywhere near my plate. He never asks, he just grabs food off my plate/bowl!!! I’m an only child I don’t share well!!!! (evil eye at the hubs) Worse still is that the roommate grabbed the hot dog pieces out of my mac-and-cheese Sunday night… with his bare hand! Not cool! I feel like I live in a frat house… *sob*
My husband is the one who doesn’t like to share here. He has already taught our daughter that “Aba doesn’t share!” Haha!
“…took me out for hibachi.”
Wait. Is hibachi a thing now? Like sushi or thai? Is this an Ohio thing or are traditional Japanese fire bowls becoming the new requisite dining experience? I’m not being an ass, I swear. I just never heard the expression before! I have a traditional Japanese hibachi in my living room but we keep the internet router in it.
I just really lacked the terminology to explain those super annoying places where they light onion volcanos and make you sit with a table of complete strangers who are celebrating a birthday and ask the chef fun stuff like,
Do you have chicken nuggets in Japan?
How do you say “thank you” in oriental?
Do you have any ketchup?
I googled it and apparently there is a chain of restaurants called “Hibachi” in Ohio so your word choice is appropriate. I think we call it “Benihana” in Michigan.
This is why I love blogs. It’s an opportunity to learn about different cultures all over the world.
Cool, Ohio is a culture now! LOL We are awesome. :)
Andy would love me…because I don’t like leftovers. Anything I bring home, I expect my husband to eat because otherwise it will sit in the fridge until it gets moldy and I throw it away! Ha! Sorry about your steak and shrimp….(But seriously, Andy, what GUY orders the chicken????)
Yeah, my fiance does the same thing. We’re both only children so not sharing and bitching about when we have to share is just in our genes. So is doing whatever the hell we want, apparently.
PS- Remember when Friends was cooler than sliced bread? I miss it.
Not only do I not share my food but I hate it when hubby or anyone in particular stares at my food and tells me how delicious it is. Ughh, I am a selfish eater (there must be a medical term because I’m really bad!) and don’t want eyes, hands, forks or anything other than my hands and utensils on MY FOOD. I’d rather they order their own and if they can’t finish it all, take it home. End of story.
I don’t care if mine looks better than yours, you order the same crap every time and then whine.
Yes, I am eating that piece of steak I just cut. Oops, did I poke you with my knife.
No, there won’t be leftovers, stop looking at my food.
Yes, I am ordering dessert, no, we aren’t splitting it.
I came from a family with 5 kids, protecting my food is built-in. I dated a guy for almost 3 years, creme brulee is my favourite dessert, he had never tried it before meeting me, since he never ordered it for himself, he never tried it in all the time we dated as well! Dude, my plate, my food.
There weren’t 5 of us, but I did have the teenage older brother with the black hole for a mouth so I have that protect-the-food-at-all-costs thing going too… “she’s little, she doesn’t need it!”
I used to write hilarious death threats on my boxes of leftovers. Things like “Warning: Contents are Toxic” or “Touch my steak, lose a hand!”.
Now I have a husband that always takes food home but NEVER eats the leftovers, so I no longer have to resort to intimidation.
Husband eating my leftovers doesn’t bug me all that much. Mainly because of beer. Husband eats my leftovers; I wait until he gets home from a long day of work before downing the last beer in the fridge. And everyone is happy. At least I am anyway. **evil grin**
But while we are on the subject of our husband’s bad eating habits, I’ll tell you what really infuriates me. My husband eats my food out of my plate…..while I AM STILL EATING IT!! UGH!!!!!!!!!
When I was growing up this was a big problem in our house because my dad would eat our leftovers for breakfast. Seriously, it didn’t matter what it was. It was so gross. Who eats cold leftover Chinese food for breakfast?! So, anyway, we instituted the 24-hour rule. You wrote your name and the date & time on the box before it went in the fridge. You had a claim for 24 hours, then it was fair game for the Breakfast Monster.
Leftovers don’t survive overnight in my house unless I hide them. I have teenage sons. I don’t usually have to worry about the husband because we don’t usually eat the same things but the kids? Will eat anything. Seriously.
“Yeah uh honey ARE YOU SUUUUUUUUURE YOU DONT WANT THE STEAK AND SHRIMP BECAUSE YOU KNOOOOOOOOW I’M GONNA EAT ALLLLL OF MINE?!?!?!”
“uh no, no I just want the uh chicken this time…”
“ARE YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE?!?!!!!?”
“ok fine…”
We’re approaching year #8. I’ve learned a thing or two about dinner. Wish I could say the same about other topics.
OMG! I think I just peed a little bit.
I absolutely hate leftovers. They literally make me sick. Me and the guy I was seeing would go out, and I would incessantly bitch until he ate what I didnt. “Eat it or Im throwing it away. No, you know I wont eat it if I take it home. Fine, Ill give it to your dog. Ok then Ill give it to my dog. JUST EAT THE SHIT!”
I don’t believe in any kind of leftover shrimp or really any seafood, so I make sure to eat all of my shrimp & scallops when we have hibachi. Unfortunately, that leaves me with vegetarian leftovers, but I make up for it with the extra white sauce I take home.
Growing up in a family of 6 women (including my mom) there was always the fear that leftovers would be gobbled up by the “damn it’s 3 AM, I’m a little drunk and this half a sandwich and 3 measly fries looks like it would really hit the spot” monster. My youngest sister used to get so mad and would sometimes cry so she started leaving threatening messages on the take out containers…… It’s only now that she is 26 years old that she realizes how ineffective it is to write EAT OR DIE with a pink sharpie on the lid…..Obviously it was beyond our control, I mean we HAD to eat it or we would die, right? All these years she just thought we were being mean..
Me and my hubby have the same problem! He is always trying to eat my leftovers, the snacks I keep in the house just for me, or stealing sips of my drink. I don’t like to share my food….anything else is all good, but my food…HANDS OFF! Back up buddy because this here is mine :)