You smell weird.
It’s my new deodorant.
He doesn’t notice hair cuts, new shirts or bless me when I sneeze.
We aren’t in a rut. We’re just comfortable.
But, I don’t want to get to that place. Where we are living like roommates. Frat brothers. Trying to wake up early enough to beat the other at getting the last piece of cold leftover pizza.
Ok, so we already do that.
But, we wanted to jump start things.
You know, recapture the feeling we had when we first met. When I put on make up, pretended I liked Kung Fu movies, and didn’t unbutton my jeans at the dinner table.
Enter the Intimacy Experiment, Day 3. Making what feels old, new again.
To achieve this, we were sent out to dinner.
To…wait for it…ROLE PLAY.
Like, we had to assume new identities, and essentially pick each other up at the restaurant bar.
Andy was not feeling it, but having taken numerous improv classes in college, I was born for this.
I put on a cute shirt, a push up bra, some heels, some dangley earrings and perfume on my wrists and between my boobs, which is a wonderful departure from the crushed up cereal and sweat that normally resides there.
Well hello, beautiful, may I sit here.
Bonjour. I am waiting for my friends, but zey are late, please, seet.
Bonjour? Your accent, are you…french?
Oui. From a small…french province. With lots of wine. And goats.
You smell nice.
Thank you, it eez my very expensive perfume made in…France.
See! This is Oscar grade shit right here.
So, mademoiselle, what is your name?
My name eezz…Caroline. Caroline…Kennedy.
Caroline Kennedy. From France.
Oui. It’s a very popular name there. Like…zee Jennifer of France.
He bought me drinks, laughed at all my jokes, let his hand linger on my leg, didn’t eat my fries when I went to the bathroom.
Everyone around us was either completely jealous or thought we were absolutely psychotic.
It was a whole night of kinda meeting my husband again, without cutting up anyone’s food, running people to the bathroom ten times, or inhaling our food before a tantrum could erupt.
Two hours and some broken french-spanish hybrid later, we were headed back to our house.
It was the most hilarious and subtitle required sex I ever had.
It’s just really hard to stay in character when you are taking spanx off after a few glasses of wine.
I can’t say we’ll ever do it again, mostly because Andy refuses to go through with my Prince William/Kate Middleton scenarios (he is just not as gifted with accents as myself), but it was a neat way to trick us into feeling that weird tingly feeling we felt when we first met.
Until we picked our kids up and Wyatt pooped in the tub before bed.
How do you even begin to clean that!?
It was nice while it lasted.
I wrote this sex-tastic post while participating in a fun campaign on behalf of K-Y© Brand, while I have been compensated for my time, my words and opinions are completely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive commentary.
Relive my entire K-Y Intimacy Experiment! Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, and Day 10.
For more info on the K-Y Intimacy Experiment, check out the K-Y Couples Place.
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
I LOVE THIS!
My hubs isn’t into role play either!
On our wedding night our dog totally had diarrhea all over both of us right after he carried me over the alter. Chad apparently thought it was funny to feed her spaghettio’s.
If I tried this my husband would think I was having a stroke. Both because it would totally out of character and because my accents are really horrible. But if the EMS guys are hot it might turn me on… so hell, I’ll try it!
I was in a bad, pissy rut today…. my husband is out of town, the kids were nuts. Everyone is in bed, and I am cracking up reading your bog. THANK YOU! I sooooooooooo needed this. xoxo
I seriously laughed out loud when I read your William and Kate bit! Boo on Andy for being a sexy-British-royal-role-play-party-pooper.
He didn’t eat your fries when you went to the bathroom!!! Now that’s love right there!
Would love to try that.. but my husband.. he is so, vanilla.. lol
Loving the posts.. I felt so connected after the last one.. self proclaimed picker here too
Ooo la la! Zat zounded hot!
Bwahahaha. We’re playing along with your ten step program, but we went to Portillo’s and made fun of the fat people. Like we should talk!
Sounds awesome. I often tell Jennifer that we should go to the next town over and try to pick each other up at the bar or something. It would be awesome. Can’t do it here, though. Small town full of lesbians – everyone already knows we are married. And half of them are past flirts or conquests or SOMETHING of hers. Wouldn’t be the same.
But – soooo glad you had a good night!
my daughter is not yet 18 months and has pooped in the tub 3 times. SO much fun when there are multiple children in the tub and that happens. By the third time tho, I actually had a system for how to deal with/clean it up!
You should have video taped that!!
1 million you tube hits!
I dunno I think you should just skip the accents and take Andy straight to pound town.
Bleach. Lots and lots of bleach. Fill the tub up with hot water, add the bleach and let it soak. Then you just wash it our normally. At least that is how I deal with poop in the tub accidents. Oh, and I throw all of the tub toys away because that’s just nasty.
Ha-ha-ha! Love your stories. And thank God when my kids have pooped in the tub they’ve been hard or hard enough that they can just be picked up and thrown in the toilet. Of course at that point I then freak out and have to drain the tub, rinse it with soapy water (as if it didn’t just have soapy water in it) and refill it up to finish bathtime. Glad to know my kids aren’t the only ones who have done that!
Oh my gosh.. I love this. My daughter just pooped in the tub…and it is a complete bitch to clean.
As for the accent.. I would die of embarrasement talking like that in front of my husband. I love your comfort level
Not only are you guys experiencing it, but it’s giving other couples things to talk about.
Army Boy and I discuss your daily “task” (ok so we totally laughed about “Caroline Kennedy”), and how it wouldn’t be nearly as funny if it were us.
We both suck at accents.
Loving these post and the Never Nude! LOL, so me too!
I think I already commented on this one, but not sure! Love this!
The idea of roleplaying with the significant other is daunting. He can be the thug and I can be the baby mama. I’ll get dressed up in bright pink skin tight pants and a wife-beater. Put about two thousand gallons of moose in my hair and make my eyeshadow as blue as the sky. He can… be the way he is lol. I can’t see it happening.
The Royal Wedding is a holiday over here. Everything is closed for the day. It would be the perfect time to play William & Kate… their actual wedding day! You’d both have the day off… you should move to England for the month.
And, if I tried this – my husband would not only think I had a stroke, but when he figured out I was ok, he’d accuse me of wanting him to be someone that his not. Since he’s a little sick today, I’ll wait until tomorrow to try and pretend I’m so kind of sexy girl!
No way no how. I would feel like a complete idiot.
I worry that role-playing will wind up with me having to pretend I’m Katie Morgan…
I’m with Stephanie in feeling like an idiot, never got into role playing.
We’re way too vanilla to ever do anything like this (sadly), but it sounds like SO MUCH fun!
I’ve always wanted to do this but there’s no way we could pull it off. We’d laugh or correct each other.
I would totally feel like an idiot with the role play thing but maybe that’s what I need…to feel like an idiot some times!
I would die trying to pretend to be someone else. How about my husband and I just go to a restaurant and actually hit on other people? That will work, right?
I’ve always wanted to do that. Like the opening scene in When a Man Loves a Woman.
That is hilarious! “Caroline Kennedy from France”
Classic.
I love this idea, and would LOVE to try it , but I doubt Hubbie would go along – not exactly the adventurous type, sounds SO fun though!!
I’m the opposite, I’d totally not be into role playing but the man would love it!
I totally feigned an interest in Radiohead when we first started dating…bought ‘Hail to the Thief’ and totally HATED it with the fire of 10000 blazing suns.
Now I’m totally into their back catalog and In Rainbows, but still very anti-’Hail to the Thief’
Never tried it-not sure I’m brave enough. My husband might like it but he would likely keel over from shock!
I really want to try this sometime – I would probably play a British babe, though.
I don’t know that I could do the role play thing.
Whenever we see a movie with accents, BF can’t stop talking with his version of the accent long after the movie has ended. We can’t even watch Despicable Me without the fake accent.
I am way too cynical to role play. I applaud you for trying!
I think it sounds awesome, but I can only do a Southern accent. And I live in Alabama, so no dice there..
LOL! Andy is such a good sport. I could never get my husband to go for this.
I am so not looking forward to kids pooping in the tub. It might be worth adopting a 4 year old to avoid that.
I think your French accent is bad ass!!