I just….I don’t even know where to start.
Girls like me, we don’t walk around naked.
We hide from our husbands in the bathroom, because there is absolutely nothing sexy about putting on spanx and getting the pee hole all lined up.
Pre-kids, I remember being nude a lot. I didn’t love my body then, but I could still suck in enough to make it somewhat acceptable.
The very last time he saw me completely naked, I was seven months pregnant with our oldest, and he had talked me into taking a romantic shower with him. It went so badly, I was huge and I won’t go into details, but I ended up peeing in the shower. It touched our feet.
The last time Andy saw my vagina in the light of day, a baby was crowning.
Do you see a pattern here?
The children I love have destroyed my body.
I’m a never nude.
Day 4 of project revamp our intimacy? Get nekkid.
Not sex naked, but, like, around the house naked.
I was 97% sure I was not going to do this, but I sent the kids to my mom’s and put towels down on the furniture, anyways.
I called Andy and told him to bring dinner home for the two of us.
In my head, that translated to a nice romantic dinner for two. In his head, it meant two $5 footlongs and soup from Subway.
I can’t eat soup naked.
Why?
It’s dangerous.
Wear a bib?
I couldn’t bring myself to be completely nude, but I did get down to some pajama shorts and my bra.
After dinner we cuddled on the couch and watched…Pawn Stars.
Seriously, I am never letting him plan romantic evenings, ever again.
It was nice leaning against him, skin to skin, it felt safer. I imagine it was for many of the same reasons they place newborns naked on their mother’s naked chest. To build that bond and sense of security.
We did that tonight. Without the breastfeeding. No matter how many times he asked.
I wrote this sex-tastic post while participating in a fun campaign on behalf of K-Y© Brand, while I have been compensated for my time, my words and opinions are completely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive commentary.
Relive my entire K-Y Intimacy Experiment! Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, and Day 10.
For more info on the K-Y Intimacy Experiment, check out the K-Y Couples Place.
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
You could have worn nothing but a big bib.
I’m loving these posts!
No more s***. All posts of this qutlaiy from now on
ok, the towels on the furniture made laugh!!! You guys are awesome.
Um? The next time. Watch Porn Stars.
what meredith said! sheesh!
also..towels on the couch?!?! lol awesome!
totally loving these posts:)
HOT soup is dangerous on your naked bits and don’t let anybody tell to otherwise. Next time wear cute boy short lacy underwear and a babydoll cami they hide ALL your jiggley bits and are super sexy!
Honey, you need to stop and watch Fried Green Tomatoes again (please say you’ve watched it…please?!?) You need to get happy with your body like Evelyn Couch aka Kathy Bates character. I’m a big girl, no kids
, and there are day’s I hate my body but I love being nude…Your man loves you! Every inch of you, bask in that!
I walk around naked all the time! Except when the kids are awake. I hate putting pants on to leave the house or not send my 12 year old screaming from the room. Anyway I am WAY bigger then you are! Rock the naked flabby parts and all! Ok now I am going to go finish reading the rest of your post. LOL
I agree with Amy! Rock out with all your “imperfections”. You owe it to yourself to be completely open and free with your husband.
I’m also loving these posts!
I used to like being naked. Before I had kids. Now I live in my father-in-law’s house. He doesn’t live here, but he randomly shows up and walks in without knocking. So… I don’t think we’ll do this one for now.
My fathe inlaw occansionally walks by a window while he is here helping with chores. If he don’t wanna see what happens to large boobs when they been put through the ringer of pregnancy/breastfeeding a few times then don’t look into the house. HA HA HA My mother inlaw used to just walk into the house too since this is the house she grew up in. Thankfully never while we were having sex.
After the first time he walks in on you naked, he’ll start knocking!
I still walk around naked. Heck, I still sleep naked, but but thats largely because I’m almost 9 months pregnant and nothing is comfortable anymore. Its got nothing to do with being sexy or being intimate with my husband. lol
Although it was funny when my 3 year old said the other day “mommy, I saw you nakey!”
Love…
OMG Brit! Can I call you Brit? I really feel like I can because we are living parallel lives you and I! We watched Hardcore Pawn yesterday. But, um, well, we weren’t nekkid. We weren’t even sitting next to each other on the couch. So that’s where the similarities end I guess. But still. What are the chances?
P.S. ALL the footlongs are $5 now at Subway, I have insider info.
I hope some day you’re comfortable enough with his love and your body to be naked all the time. I’m a good size girl who wasn’t blessed with the distraction of big boobs, just a belly stretched by pregnancy and what was once a fantastic booty. I am naked ALL THE TIME! I’m not in a relationship right now but my thought process is that if he wants to have sex with me he must want to see me naked. So not only am I naked but the lights are on too, because really, if I want to have sex with him, I want to see him naked as well.
Loved this.
These posts are hilarious. I feel like KY should sponsor you more often.
My husband is in the sleeps naked category. He used to try to get me to do so, too, but I’ve never been able to. And actually, it really doesn’t have anything to do with my body: I have an irrational fear of something, like a spider or something, crawling up my lady bits. And this is why I always must have *something* on, even if it’s just underwear. And I wouldn’t admit this to my husband until we were about 7 or 8 years into our relationship. And man, did he laugh!!
I walk around naked all the time. My children will be scarred for life.
Seriously, you are just crazy adorable! I have the same issues and I hate any type of light on when my husband and I are trying to “get it on.” I prefer that over any type of lights on or view of me in my birthday suit…ever.
I love this! I think I’m going to start forwarding all these posts to my husband. They are cracking me up.
I spend a lot less time naked now that we have our son. Understandably of course!
Hot soup and neekid is bbbaaaaddd. I can see scalding nipples and his junk in a bucket of ice. Maybe a salad next time?
I don’t do sitting aorund naked, either. My kiddos, fruit of my loins, have also played a mean game of yahtzee (is that how it’s spelled?) with my abs. It hasn’t worked out well for the abs. My kids sure are cute though!
Just the other day, I promised hubby that I’d do something out of the ordinary. I’m always on the computer after the kids go to sleep so I just got completely naked and sat there playing Scarab Solitare on Facebook, waiting for him to come in the room. It was a horrifying feeling. I was waiting for him to come in the room just like he does EVERY SINGLE NIGHT after the kiddos bedtime. This night though, he decided he was going to lay on the couch and catch the end of the basketball game. I was freezing sitting there naked and finally yelled out for him…
It didn’t seem so fun since I had to call him to the room!
KY should come up with a 30 day challenge and let you come up with what needs to be done!
Naked scares me. And would scare the neighbors for sure.
I don’t do naked on the sofa. Ever. Any more. I used to. My kids ruined my body too, particularly my abs. They played yahtzee (is that how it’s spelled) with my abs and it didn’t turn out well. Sigh. You’re brave.
Okay, my computer told me that my comment didn’t post, so I did my best to remember it and rewrote a paraphrased version, only to realize it had posted and now I look like the crazy repeater lady. Crap! If you want to be really nice, you could delete one of them… and this one… or not… CRAP!
Subway is better than Shane’s rib shack, at least
I don’t walk around naked anymore either. You are a brave woman!
I’m only ever naked in the shower…and even that sometimes is a bit of a stretch. I would get cold!
Apparently the first time I had walked around naked in front of my husband (since the early days) was a 6-8 weeks post partum. I still can’t figure that out.
Aiyiyi! Maybe this intimacy experiment isn’t for me! I’m so not a naked person!
I don’t think we could do all naked either
I do love Pawn Stars. However, the idea of watching Chumlee while naked is just wrong. I would wander around naked more often, but my husband always thinks that it means I want some. I need to guard against that shit.
When my husband gets back from deployment–I think we’re going to try this one.
Ummm….. I DO NOT DO NAKED!!! It scares me to even think about it!!!!!!!!!! :0P
When we’re home alone we enact the “no pants rule”. All chonies, all the time.
We do naked all the time, but had to stop when my dad moved in with us for awhile. The first thing I did when he moved out was strip down to nothing and sit on the couch and watch TV – because I could!
You are so brave! Love it!
My husband would walk around naked every single day if he could. Me – not so much, but I did tell him in the summer, I’ll at least try it for one day haha
Now that winter’s come and I feel like a bear who remembered the eating part but forgot about the hibernating part I feel so uncomfortable with the lights on!
I’m thinking Prawn Stars could have been good one, too!
I love Arrested Development. So much.
I would not eat soup nekkid either. I wouldn’t serve soup nekkid either…things aren’t where they used to be and my nipples can’t take that kind of heat!
I’m not a naked person, either. This would be hard.
I vote for the bib.
Also, I love love love your writing. I’m a recent arrival, and you’re already in my top 2 blogs I get excited about in my feed reader. You rock.
Ugh. I hate being naked.