Day Five: I win.

Anybody worth their weight in country knows how to play cards.

Euchre. Poker. Spades.

Some of my best nights in high school were spent in a barn, drinking warm beer until someone passed out, we threw darts at them, and then played strip poker until we got bored and either decided to steal a tractor, or dare each other to jump off tall things into the pond.

Executive decision: my children are never leaving the house.

It did, however, make me a master card player. Mostly because I never wanted to take my clothes off. There is something utterly embarrassing about being 15 and having a chest so large it hangs below the table.

This knowledge has gotten me through boring bus trips to soccer tournaments. Family reunions. College. And now, marriage.

Today was all about experiencing fun. We were to try something new together during the day, and then extend the sense of fun and games to the bedroom, with a high stakes poker game, the loser drawing from a pile of index cards on which the winner has written down some sort of pleasure.

One thing we both love doing together is trying new types of food. I swear, the boy grew up on Happy Meals and Hamburger Helper, so expanding his and our palette is something we really get into.

Today we tried out a new Lebanese restaurant, only ordering dishes we could share. Like Lady and the Tramp.

(See how romantic I am? I win at marriage.)

We ate amazing food, and tried really hard not to talk about the kids.

Which was hard, because those are three huge things we have in common, and I know nothing of car parts or Real Time Strategy computer games, and he knows nothing about twitter, sedatives or midgets.

When we got home, it was game time.

Fact: Andy cannot play cards.

And by that I mean, any game outside of UNO and War.

I almost pity him.

Sometimes I just look at him and think, where did you come from?

Tonight, however, this would be working to my advantage.

Needless to say, I won 20 hands out of 20.

*sings* Somebody’s emptying the dishwasher naaaaaaaked.

Wait, no. This is supposed to be sex stuff, all your cards just having me doing chores naked.

You’re not the boss of what turns me on, Andy.

I wrote this sex-tastic post while participating in a fun campaign on behalf of K-Y© Brand, while I have been compensated for my time, my words and opinions are completely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive commentary.

Relive my entire K-Y Intimacy Experiment! Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, and Day 10.

For more info on the K-Y Intimacy Experiment, check out the K-Y Couples Place.