THIS CONTAINS LOTS OF SPOILERS.
You know what sucked?
I hated New Moon.
An entire book of Bella acting like an idiot and being bored reading about werewolves.
I mean, in the scheme of the series, I understand it’s purpose. To provide backstory and try to get me to not want to hurl every time I see Jacob’s face.
(It didn’t work, but it’s totally fine, they let Taylor Lautner be the new Vin Diesel, anyway.)
I finished Catching Fire, book #2 in the Hunger Games series, at 3am.
Much like the first book, it started off hard to get into, but I assumed after a few chapters, I’d be hooked.
But, I wasn’t.
To be fair, I already dreaded it. Katniss and Peeta come back from the Capital, cue the teenage love triangle and crying into a pillow.
Except none of that happened. Katniss just comes home and stops talking to Peeta, I think? I honestly have no idea because exactly nothing is explained. She’s just home and angsty and still whining about the fucking berries. Oh, and she’s hunting with Gayle again, you know, the guy I have absolutely no emotional investment in because all I know about him is that he is also poor and apparently looks attractive killing animals.
And really, Katniss, I want to like you. You’re strong and smart, which I try to remember when my eyes glaze over as you complain about everything. But, you’re 17 years old. Two hot guys tell you they love you, and you squirm around like you have the emotional capacity of Elmo. By the time I was 17, I had been in love at least four times. None of this is making sense.
And just when I am trying to wrap my head around the GIANT GAPING PLOT HOLES, surprise! Back to the Hunger Games we go.
I texted my Hunger Games Sponsor.
Me: Wait. They have to go BACK INTO THE GAME!?
Me: WTFOMG I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS. I’m feeding this book to Poppy.
Jen: I know. I KNOW.
I don’t want to spend 800 chapters keeping Katniss and Peeta alive in the jungle with my mind powers (it’s similar to how I keep my plane from not crashing, except there’s less praying and I’m allowed bathroom breaks.)
While the book did pick up from that point, it all felt rushed. Why don’t we learn more about the victors? Why isn’t the game explained the same way? Why am I picturing Finnick as Matt Dillon’s weird looking brother from Entourage? Why does everyone have ridiculous names? IS THIS WHAT THE FUTURE IS LIKE!?
I’m beginning to wonder if maybe this book was written by an entirely different person.
I wasn’t prepared when it ended, but what it lacked in depth, it made up for in plot twist and cliff hanger.
On to book three.