When I think of hell, I imagine it being my living room, with all the toys and crap shoved into one corner, and white, slightly wrinkled sheet hanging on the far wall.
I’m standing in the middle of the room, wearing a full body grizzly bear costume, while three little identical Gary Busey’s run around me screaming and shooting each other with squirt guns full of gasoline as I scream at them to stop fighting and to stand in front of the sheet and smile.
There are few things worse than Christmas card photo day.
Except maybe stomach flu you throw up so hard you poop yourself day.
Or the opening day of absolutely any Fast & the Furious movie.
You go into it with a plan and a pocket full of good intentions.
All the clothes are laid out. The kids have had a bath, their hair washed and styled. You spend the morning running around without a shirt on, as to not end up with armpit stains and dog hair down the front of you.
Then you start yelling things like…
Come on, we’re losing the light!
Stop touching yourself!
Just smile for 5 fucking seconds!
Fine, then none of you will be in the picture, thanks for ruining Christmas!
Two hours later, you’re flipping through the shots on the view screen of your camera, deciding what heads you can photoshop onto what bodies, and which fists full of hair you can crop out.
And you’re sweaty. So, so sweaty.
Last year, after sending everyone to their rooms for the day and drinking my feelings in the hall closet, it hit me.
I didn’t have to do this.
Christmas cards weren’t a mandatory part of the holidays.
The tiny Grinch on my right shoulder rejoiced, as the wee Clark Griswold on my left wept into the sleeve of his Christmas cardigan.
2011 would be the year of no Christmas cards.
But then Shutterfly emails me last week, asking if they could do my holiday cards for me. No seriously, I’m not doing them, so stop asking, ok?
Then they were all, OMG I know they are super stressful and unfun, just check out this Family Photo Days site we designed to make it a less sucky experience and let us know, P.S. You look really pretty today.
So I was like, fine, but I’m still totally not doing them, because my kids don’t even like me right now, and we have no matching plaid outfits.
Except, when I went to the site…THEY WERE ADORABLE, Y’ALL. Yes. Yes I will do holiday cards this year.
The tiny Clark Griswold on my shoulder high fived my neck and came in his pants.
So today, totally inspired by Shutterfly Family Photo Days, we made our Christmas cards.
Nobody fought, nobody was listed for sale on Craigslist, and the only person who cried was Andy…when I showed him how adorable the people I made with my organs were.
So, fine. I’m not going to be a Grinch this year, at least about the cards, I still have no idea what a yule log is, and it totally sounds stupid.
But, since I’m feeling especially merry, I’ve decided to pass along the Christmas cheer to one of you, by way of 25 free Shutterfly cards of your choice.
All you have to do is leave me a comment with your favorite family photo tip, aka, how you get through family photos without murdering anyone.
You can enter as many times as you wish, with each comment containing one tip.
For extra entries, you can tweet about the Family Photo Day card giveaway using the hashtag #shutterflycards, and then just leave the link to your tweet in a comment.
This contest runs until December 9th, 2011 at 12am EST. One winner will be randomly selected, and prize delivered upon confirmation of winning.
I was compensated for this post by Shutterfly, but my opinions and the kids in the picture are my own. Allegedly.
I totally bribe them with candy and cheap dollar store toys, and I’m proud of it! The husband I just threaten :).
I seriously must have a Poppy of my own one day!!! Love your card! Having put off the pain of holiday cards again, I shall check out the site tonight!
If I say I don’t do special Xmas photo card photos but instead I pick from the year’s best pictures, can I still win?
I wasn’t planning on doing cards this year, because I just had surgery. But if you ever saw my curly red headed three year old girl, you’d want me to bribe her with the fear of no Santa for a photo shoot. The camera loves her hair and by god 25 free cards would rock right now. Oh, and my 7 yr old is a brunette stunner too!
Adorbs!
I don’t have human children, but I do have dog children and they can be assholes when I’m trying to take a picture. For our engagement photo shoot, we were at a beautiful park (with no fence) and the photographer made us take the leashes off our dogs because they didn’t match our outfits (wtf?) and they got away and ran all over the place and I had to chase them in heels and I got pit stains on my sweater and there are probably 10-15 pictures of me covered in sweat giving the evil eye to our photographer until we finally caught our puppies.
So I guess my tip would be: if outdoors, keep the leash on, no matter what.
My kids are 8, 4, and 2. There is no picture without lots of bribing and yelling…although THIS year…what worked the best for ME was telling them to watch for my funny face…then I would move the camera, cross my eyes and stick my tongue out, and they would laugh and I would snap snap snap….it actually GOT me a Christmas card with THREE real smiles. Also, the 8 and 4 year olds are boys, so burp and/or fart noises also work.
This year I used little craft haggles with smarties in them. Genius idea until the kid looked like a drug dealer in all of the pictures. ** FAIL**
I thought for sure having a purse full of m&m’s would work as a bribe for my 2 year old. Instead, she ended up falling of a chair and spraining her knee. X-rays and knee splints are not a fun way to spend the day for a toddler. No Christmas pictures yet this year!!
Sugar fix – perfectly timed before the sugar crash…
Aaron is only 3 years old and so I haven’t actually mastered the Christmas photo thing, but I’ve tried bringing his favorite toy and waving it behind the camera for him. That will usually get his attention!
Bribery. It’s the only way, and it works for the entire family: husband, kid, and dogs.
p.s. I don’t think Kaitlin’s tip needs to be restricted to dogs. Or the outdoors.
ha!
I don’t do Xmas photos, so I don’t need the freebie (but thank you, I bet you’re making a lot of people’s holiday a bit easier with that)…but my secret is candids. I snap my nieces and nephew when they’re just being themselves. I’ll also pause video and screencap them. The quality is not often good, but when it is, it works.
Alcohol?
It’s my first year with baby doing Christmas cards. And ok I went all type A, OCD, do what I say, wear what I pick out for you, shut up and smile. And I was extremely hungover. Like take a couple pic and run to some bushes and get sick hungover. But I had a friend with a good camera come take some in beautiful outdoor settings. Hell I even managed to let the flaws take a couple of pics with us. So I guess my tip is hair of the dog… Drink your feelings…..and follow my directions damn it.
I basically say “fuck you” to “family photo day”. I take tons of pictures throughout the year and pick the best at the end of the year and make a freakin collage. I can’t deal with the stree of family photo day. There isnt enough therapy….
I have no tips. I only have one 4 year old and we still can’t manage to get a decent family photo. I try making it a game, bribery, pleading, yelling but he refuses to look at the camera and smile. Or even just look toward the camera. Usually I end up saying screw it I’ll just use the best of the worst.
Good old fashioned bribery. Husband promises my kids ice-cream. Then we get a picture of 2 3 year olds running off camera trying to get to the kitchen for a treat and a 7 y/o sitting there all WTF?! Somehow, they don’t get it that you have to take the picture first.
My tip is to forget your good intentions with staging and find other photos you can pass off.
My other tip is to buy yourself a bottle of champagne before you even decide to try to do the whole Christmas card thing.
Also – tip #3 don’t share that champagne with your husband. God knows he didn’t do SHIT to help out with this yearly bullshit obligation.
My honest tip is that I have my husband take the picture. Let him deal with the stress. I have to credit him with the kids always being nicely dressed and their hair is pretty. But, the pictures are always slightly blurred ‘cuz no one can stand still for 3 seconds. No one is ever looking the same way because they don’t understand “look at me and smile”. And because they are all wearing dresses, at least one kids’ stockinged crotch is showing. The pictures may not be perfect but they are damned hilarious.
Side note: For Christmas cards the girls always have stockings on. Day to day shots – there are lots of my now twin 3 year olds in sundresses with their girly bits hanging out because they can’t keep their dang underwear on. Their older sister is into crazy face making. We haven’t taken a decent picture in quite awhile :)
Oh and here’s a tip to myself:
BB – go take a xanax. You’re mid panic attack and you haven’t started anything yet. Also self? Remember that xanax BEFORE HAND when you actually do make an effort to get this done, for both the creating of the cards and the addressing, sending, post office part.
Thanks for the panic attack Brittany. It’s a good thing you’re funny and pretty.
While my family and I haven’t done any sort of Christmas cards at all, or pictures in awhile, I do remember a few years ago that for our Christmas pictures we decided to all wear Van Halen shirts instead of the more festive or traditional holiday related outfits. So I suppose my tip is to try to change up the picture by wearing something that the whole family likes, and try not to stress over how silly it might seem.
I’ve read a few comments about having issues with getting the kids to look at the camera, etc. So, another tip might be to try not to stress over that, and maybe try changing it up by capturing a happy moment of their children, as opposed to trying to get them to look directly at the camera, as candid might reflect the joy, and love of the holidays more than the traditional, all grouped together, smiling at the camera.
I have my girlfriend take ALL child and/or family pictures. She has a photography business and let’s my son run wild while she snaps away. So my tip… Have a friend that’s super talented and make them do the picture taking!
Children’s Robitussin.
I tie my kids to their chairs (in front of said, wrinkled white sheet) with a belt around them and the chair. Then my husband and I smile sweetly while the kids scream bloody murder and there you have it! A perfect example of our lives for all to see (minus the cheesy parental smiles of course).
Since my “kids” are all animals–the furry kind, not the regular kid kind of animal–so it’s easy. Our family photos for the holiday card are of us lounging quietly, relaxed and mildly buzzed, not a kid in sight.
We NEVER sent out cards. My mom refuses to have her picture taken.
We are trying to have a kid, and I feel like when we do, the best tip I have is: pinot grigio. That’s always my favorite problem solver.
Get everyone to yell “BOOGERS”…then you have the best smiles :o)
Seriously. My kids suck at pictures. I mean they’re cute and all, but damn…they’re monsters. The only good pictures I have of them are honestly their preschool pictures and I’m pretty sure it’s because I was no where around to stress them out about smiling.
get a high school art student to do it for cheap.
I give them something to do and instruct no one to look at the camera. :) That’s my tip! When you look back over the years, you can see what kinds of things they were into at the different ages and stages.
I tell them we will only do it once every 5 years. :-)
I take fucked up pictures. Seriously. I just take the picture where one is crying while the other is picking his nose or chewing on the dog. Hey, it captures the true essence of my family i think! Hope i win the cards so i can send out this year. Short on cash so i was skipping the cards.
Candy!!
My family consists of me, the boyfriend and our cat so I’m going to say that my trick for family photo day is to use a tiny mirror, watch or cell phone to reflect light where everyone needs to look. I’m not sure who this works better on, the cat or the bf.
Well with 5 children, ages 21 to 20months , I have been taking family photos for years. I don’t have a sure way to get them all smiling and looking at me at the same time. My tip would be take lots and lots of pictures and sometimes it’s the oops and funny ones that seem perfect!
I am cracking up reading about your photo adventures. We went to Disneyland and took photos with the characters this year, the little guy was so excited with Goofy that it was a piece of cake this year. Next year….gulp….no idea ;)
I take lots and lots of candid shots with a great zoom lens. I let the kids run around and do their thing, and I just let the camera go rapid fire, like they’re models and like I know what I’m doing. I’m right up in their faces but they don’t even know it, and I get dozens of shitty pics and one or two really good ones. If I’m trying to get them to pose, I just take pics while they are playing grabass before the posing, and those pics are always the best.
Our cards are always just out takes anyway . Kids in mid laugh are always adorable!
I get someone else to be the photographer. I can’t handle playing director and not get cranky.
I beg, plead them bribe the kids to please look at me and smile for just one shot.
I use the imperfect pictures – the karate kick to my brother’s head, the head lock…. whatever. One year, my sons mooned the camera – literally turned around and pulled their pants down. I called it ‘Merry Assmas’. And for pix with Santa…we go to the pet store. We discovered a long time ago that it’s easier to bring the kids to the pet store than to bring the dog to the mall. And there’s no line, the santa is usually a woman, they’re more mellow than the mall, they let us bring our own camera (with a tripod) and it benefits an animal charity. Even the 2 yrs when we were ‘between dogs’, we went to the pet store. I abhor mall santas!
Oh baby jesus, I can so relate. We did our family Christmas card photo and I made my daughter block the wine stain on my cardigan. I bribe everyone with the threat of Santa not visiting our abode.
As a budding photographer, my best tip when photographing children is to make it fun. Let them be silly, pose, model, do whatever they want and get it all out of their system. Then you’re more likely to get them to sit/stand for a least a couple good, well behaved shots!
Snacks – shove some snacks in their tiny mouths so they will shut up and stand still. As soon as snack has been swallowed – click away for about 2 seconds before snacks are needed again.
I did the picture Chrirstmas card every year since my 1st son was born 14 years ago. Most of the time the kids were in front of the Christmas tree. I always, like any good parent, bribed the kids with toys or take-out food. My 3rd child was born 4 years ago and that would be the last Christmas card I sent out. I felt bad this year when we were looking at all the pictures from years past and the poor 4 year old has only one photo of him. This year I’m making the older 2 kids sit in front of that tree for their poor brothers sake. There will be yelling and crying but at least I’ll have that photo :)
not into the cards but am so embarrassed to say this year at thanksgiving we were trying to get a family photo and I actually whispered to my nine year old just don’t make any f%cking goofy faces for 5 seconds please, my brother’s girlfriend’s Dad gave me the evil eye but that was before he spent the next 36 hours with us and got it.