Jorts is such an ugly term.
It conjures up visions of dads in white socks with velcro sandals, cell phones clipped to their belts, waiting in line for churros at a theme park.
I like your Father’s Day tee shirt from Old Navy, Dave, you keep living your best life!
I am enjoying my second jort-filled summer.
Shorts used to be such an emotional experience for me, until I reached whatever age I had to reach to value not walking around with that embarrassing butt sweat line over just being cool and comfortable 3-4 months out of the year.
It turns out, less people stare at you wearing shorts, than they do if you’re wearing snowpants in July.
And it’s so true. I don’t look twice when a woman has on a pair of shorts, but if I notice her in the store wearing jeans on a 110 degree day, it takes everything inside of me not to run up to her, pet her hair, and tell her she doesn’t have to live like this.
Bottom line, nobody cares about your legs unless they’re kicking someone in the face, or wrapped around someone’s waist pushed up against a wall. Okay?
Obviously, I am having no issue with short shorts.
Do my thighs rub together? Every day of my life since birth.
And yet, I soldier on, and dare I say, receive compliments and requests for shopping info.
Here’s the secret. I don’t buy them. I make them.
I make my shorts from the corpses of the jeans with blown out thighs, and revive their souls to once again walk the earth- or sit in bed for 3 days straight watching Queer Eye, whatever, we all have our purpose.
Check out the video below for a super easy tutorial, let me know if you have any questions, and lastly: Hey girl, put your shorts on.