It’s the age old dilemma.
Girl has period. Girl takes wrapper off tampon. Girl drops tampon on moist looking public restroom floor in a rest stop off the I-80 Pennsylvania. Girl has no more tampons.
It’s basically the plot of a mis-named Alanis Morissette song.
We’re in New Jersey. We’re supposed to be in Texas but a series of events had us, instead, coming to the land of Springsteen and Manzo.
I have never been to New Jersey, but I’ve seen it from my hotel once in the city, and I’ve watched The Sopranos and Coyote Ugly, so I feel like I have a pretty good handle on things. I also slept on a full size air mattress in my brother-in-laws apartment with three kids, so just take everything I say as one part delirium for the next seven days.
Sigh, it’s not love unless we all touch each other all the time.
I plan to make due by eating all the seafood things I can get my hands on and bouncing around between here and the city as soon as I figure out another way to get to NYC without having to somehow cross water. I have very few delusions of grandeur, but I can say with the utmost confidence that had I been Jesus, the walking on water thing would have been a non-event.
They’d be all, OMG guys, come on, I heard Jesus was gonna walk on water, and I’d be all, you know what y’all, thanks for coming out, but I’m gonna put a pin in this, but definitely come watch me do this nose spaghetti thing I’ve been working on.
Manzo Sightings*: 0
Times I Tried To Pump My Own Gas: 2
Oysters Eaten: 6
Jersey Accents Faked: Infinity
*I set traps outside my brother-in-law’s apartment baited with BLK Water, I’ll keep you updated.