Halloween Nerd Alert!

For years I have been begging Andy to do a couples Halloween costume. He finally relented our sophomore year of college; we were to be Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson. I had the best blonde wig and push up bra, and Andy had spent a whole 6 hours growing a thick black mustache. It was going to be epic. The day we were set to make our big debut, I began to have side pain. By the evening, I was horizontal in a hospital bed with appendicitis.

It was the worst Halloween ever, and we never couple costumed again.

John Bender and Claire from The Breakfast Club.

Pee Wee and Miss Yvonne.

Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone.

Andy Warhol and Marilyn Monroe.

The Olson Twins.

All denied. Andy hates Halloween and wants to ruin it for everyone. Come to think of it, I haven’t even seen Andy dressed up as anything since preschool.

I was a Wuzzle. It was apparently a really popular costume in 1984. Andy, however, went on to hate Halloween and spend the holiday bitter and lonely, throwing eggs at policemen and putting bologna on cars.

Once kids came into the picture, Halloweens became less about me wearing a trampy version of something otherwise benign while Andy drove me home to puke my candy corned guts out, and more about me wearing something marginally festive (this is how sweater appliques happen) as I schlepped the little ones door to door. Andy was on a night shift and missed out on the Halloween experience entirely, which he loved because he thinks it’s a fake holiday and hates going to stranger’s houses, and I loved it because it meant I didn’t have to share candy with him.

That sounds selfish, but not everyone gets a trophy, y’all.

The kids were so happy to finally have him tag along last year, he even humored them by wearing a Darth Vader mask to match his two little Jedi’s. Between their contagious excitement and me being turned on to the hilt (there’s just something about watching guys be cool dads outside of your house where you’re otherwise annoyed with them, amirite?), he cautiously agreed to couple costume this year (he said it out loud in his sleep. I recorded it.), with the promise that it couldn’t be something that required him to wear fake boobs, learn a made-up movie language or be religiously or ethnically offensive.

That only leaves one thing…

I can’t believe he’s letting us do this, either!

Why Mr. Potter… what a big wand you have.

Ok, we’re done here.


Facebook Comments



  1. Jenna C. says

    I think maybe this makes up for the years he wouldn’t participate. Because you guys are effing rocking that costume.

  2. Rachel says

    Mrs. Potter, you look fierce!

    (Are we still using fierce? I’ve been in a house with toddlers since 2010 and I’m out of the loop.)

  3. Big Girl says

    I just adore how you’ve known each other so long that you have Halloween pics together from the early 80s!!!

  4. Jessica says

    Why do I read your blog while drinking hot beverages?? I should know better by now!
    The wand comment was the BEST! It made me burn the inside of my nose with coffee.

  5. Tiffany says

    Best costume ever!!! Mine won’t do couples coustumes either so I just wait until he decices what he’s going to be then I pick something to go with it. :) Oh, you want to be the Mad Hatter honey?! Such a coincidence, I’m going to be Alice. :)

  6. Kristi says

    Mine LOVES costumes in general – but I have a hard time getting him sold on my idea of what we should be. A couple years ago he was an awesome zombie (I did his makeup – of course he was awesome).

    This year – if we even get the night off together – he’s going to be Two-Face and I’ll be Poison Ivy. Basically for me, that means wearing a green shirt and buying some plastic vines. For him, it means I get to sew two old suits together, and sew two old ties together, and do something to half his face and hair. Wait a minute – this sounds like a lot of work.

  7. Johanna says

    I had an appendicitis a few days before Halloween my freshman year in college in New Orleans. It kind of ruined Halloween for me.

    And your couples costume is awesome. I think the only way I could get my husband to agree to a couples costume was if it was something gory.

  8. says

    Are the kids going to be James, Albus and Lily??? That would be the best family photo op EVER.

    I was going to be the Black Widow this year (because we all know I would make a great ass kicking Russian spy), and all my friends were like “oh yeah! You already have the hair.” And then last night, I had my stylist dye my hair violet. So there goes that. However, I now pretty much look like Angelina Jolie in Salt. So really I can still be an ass kicking Russian spy!

  9. Heather says

    Love it! And how cute that you 2 went to preschool together. I don’t think I knew that! Andy and Jeremy are going to be BFF’s. Whenever I ask what he wants to be for Halloween, he says “a grown-up”. He REFUSES to dress up and also hates Halloween and also has missed ever trick or treat night until this year, because of work.

    I’m still dressing up though, I don’t care if he wants to be a party pooper.

  10. Louisiana Meredith says

    Why not Rosalie & Emmett….then some hot Halloween role play?!? :p

    Seriously, you had me at

    “That sounds selfish, but not everyone gets a trophy, y’all.” AND “Suck it, Chang!”


  11. says

    You are awesome. I want to figure out the couple costuming, but, despite a profession that requires imagination and can-do attitude, I fear we’ll just be us.

  12. Michela says

    Last year hubby had to work… :/ A friend and I got those cheap colored reason ponchos and ehistles and went as football penalty flags.

  13. says

    Fabulous! And how “Harry Potter-Andy” manages to pull off the whole “OMG I’m so bored/Ain’t I studly in my Gryffindor tie” look in both photos is unbelievable!

  14. Sarah says

    Two things:
    1.) LOVE this costume idea! You guys look great!
    2.) Aaaaaand I would punt a kitten in the face to have hair like yours. Seriously.


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