Trampolines, Possible Death Traps or Giant Sex Cages?

by Brittany on May 15, 2012

in may or may not be a medical emergency, Parenting, Sex

What’s more controversial than breastfeeding, circumcision or genocide?

Giant trampolines.

Yesterday we bought one, I say “we” because I was there, and since I didn’t lay down in front of the cart in the middle of Sam’s Club, I guess I allowed it to happen.

Andy has wanted one for a million years, and because he loves to live out his childhood fantasies vicariously through our children (A Day at Historic Williamsberg? Stupid, and no amount of penny candy or giant old fashioned jawbreakers could save it.), he bought one.

We stood in the aisle, and he was all, but they’ll love it, look at Gigi, look how excited she is, and she’s just looking at the box, it’s not even out of the box yet and it’s already the most amazing gift ever! And they both stared at me, biting their little lips, and drooping their sad little eyes, and I was like no, trampolines are death traps, sorry suckers.

But, Andy knows me. We pushed the cart around a bit more, he lubed me up with free samples of sausage, battered shrimp and OJ, and then he hit me with it. Just think of how much this will tire them out, they’ll probably take two naps a day and go to bed by 7pm with all that jumping.

Two naps and early to bed without a fight? I mean, sure, they’ll be in full body casts or wheelchairs, but think of all the me-time I’d be getting.

It took 5 hours to assemble, lots of screwing and stretching and weaving rope in and out. I felt like one of those old Chinese fisherman that weave nets all day and secretly know kung fu, but only use it when they need it, not for funsies.

We had it finished before the boys came home from school, and I spent forever explaining to Andy all the safety rules I wanted observed. No high jumps, or double jumps, or whatever jump Bela Karolyi made teeny tiny Kerri Strug do.

We went to pick the boys up, and sure, it was fun seeing them run out of the car, screaming and shocked at the mammoth structure in our backyard, and they jumped for hours. I assume, I actually went inside to relax and made Andy sit in a lawn chair next to the entrance without his ipad or his phone to distract him, and instructions to yell Code Velociraptor loud enough I could hear him over the air conditioner, should a medical emergency occur.

I mean sure, the whole jumping kid thing is adorable, and they were worn out and sleeping by 6:45pm.

But did I just make the biggest mistake ever?

Or the awesomest?


{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }

Kristen @ The Chronicles of Dutch May 15, 2012 at 10:35 am

Ummm…hello!! Brilliant idea! I hear arm/leg casts are like the new slap bracelets… Totally trendy so if the unthinkable happens your kids will be the coolest kids at school!


Haircuter May 15, 2012 at 10:36 am

my husband doesn’t read directions and he had to build ours 5 TIMES!!! but the kid loves it!


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Oh Andy tried that. Like skipping over parts because IT’S COMMON SENSE, BRITTANY. Um no.


bethany May 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

WHAT. Who would say that? Its pretty presumptuous to say you don’t love your kids. FOR ANYONE to say anyone doesn’t love their kids.



Carrie M. May 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm

AGREE with you!! Because if that is the case, parents that live in a house with stairs don’t love their kids. You know because stairs “could” be death traps.


David Greene May 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

Not that my opinion matters, but I’m totally with you, Brittany. Bouncy, wacky fun? Sure, for about three hours, but it’s all fun and games until someone suffers a broken arm, closed head injury, or serious laceration. You were absolutely right to attempt to put your foot down on this one, but since you’ve lost that battle, you now owe us video recounting of the bouncy fun.

And as for the great sex on the trampoline? Yeah, good luck with that. I’ll bet you three boxes of Hostess Cupcakes that
1) It isn’t going to happen, and even if it does
2) Great won’t be the word for it.
3) If I’m wrong about #1 and #2, could we have video evidence of that too? Pretty please?


hdj May 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Trampoline sex IS awesome.


Karly May 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

We LOVED ours and only got rid of it because we moved and the husband was too much of a wuss to take it down and then put it back up at the new house. No one ever got hurt on it, either. Except for me, that one time, when I tried jumping and my entire bladder emptied everywhere and my children pointed and laughed…even then, it was just my pride that was hurt. No physical injuries.

Oh, and it’s only good for sex if you don’t mind the smell of urine. Because, like I said. Pee happens. I can’t even look at those things without peeing myself.


thepsychobabble May 15, 2012 at 10:42 am

Listen, trampolines make me nervous, too. So I get where you are coming from there. But I decided trampolines were the least of my worries on the day my son decided to leap off his dresser, on to his bed and then landed on the floor, but only after clocking himself on the bedpost first.
PS Who knew trampolines were so controversial??


Amo May 15, 2012 at 10:42 am

I secretly chose this neighborhood and convinced Steve to buy this house just because they don’t allow trampolines.

It’s the same reason I didn’t register for China when we got married, ten years ago…why set yourself up for a fight when they break every piece of it?


jack May 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

Our neighbors have one. I always imagine it will end like this:


Jamie May 15, 2012 at 10:58 am



Cas May 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

We have had one since Christmas. I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old…so far nothing medical to report. I can report that one day I looked out the window and seen our german shepherd jumping on it. My husband left the enclosure unzipped. She jumped for 30 mins straight… a big horse of a dog. She then laid down and took a 4 hour nap…so for 4 solid hours she wasnt eating the kids toys jumping up ripping our screens off the windows…sitting in the lawn mower wagon or climbing onto the 4wheeler. She has never done it again…and my husband wants to know what kind of drugs I was taking while he was at work….. that crazy dog being good for 4 hours… worth the what I paid for that trampoline… 10 times over.


Kelly M May 15, 2012 at 11:05 am

Can I just tell you that the picture I have in my head now of the German Shepherd, climbing on to the trampoline and jumping is going to make me laugh for days. Thinking that the dog may have been planning this for weeks. ‘Oh look, they finally left the enclosure open. Ah yeah, time for doggy to get her jump on!!! Woop woop!’ I would seriously pay money to see this happen. I may buy one now just to put my Lab on it and see if he jumps.


AngieM. May 15, 2012 at 1:24 pm

omg! that is the most hilarious thing ever!!


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:43 pm

This is HILARIOUS! Keep your phone on you, just in case it happens again.


Natalie May 15, 2012 at 11:54 pm

I needed to see a dog jumping on a trampoline after reading your post. Good god! This is funnier than I imagined it would be:


Natalie May 15, 2012 at 11:58 pm

I just realized the audio is obnoxious for that video. Watch it muted. The chipmunk commentary makes it not as funny.


Kylie May 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm

O. M. Jesus. I just snorted coffee everywhere! That was hilarious! We have boxers and a trampoline….and now I need to see if they mix!


Cas May 24, 2012 at 9:11 am

My husband now believes me… he got on the trampoline to jump with the kids…. Dog prints were all over it.


susan May 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

Like motorcyles and gravelly glides along the pavement, it’s not IF, it’s When….so,
start the arm cast(s) color selections now. Hard to know just the right shade of blue when pushing the bone back under the skin.


BB May 15, 2012 at 10:48 am

Trampolines are on the list of things NOT to be bought for our children. My cousin broke her ankle in two places just jumping on one when she was nine. I know how much of a dare devil my son is so why would I give him something that can make him go even higher? Knowing my luck my in laws will buy the kids one and blame me when I refuse to put it up saying I hate them.


Daisy May 15, 2012 at 10:50 am

We were never allowed on trampolines as kids because (this is a true story) my Mom’s best friend had a horrible accident on one and when my Mom saw the blood she passed out and hit her head. She has this epic story of her friend’s Mom having to carry both of them to the car, which was a convertible, and strapping them both in the backseat all wonky like with the top down, driving both of them to the emergency room, blah blah blah. Mom had a bad concussion and her friend had surgery on her ankle. And thus, NOT ALLOWED ON THEM. But….well….they look like fun.


alimartell May 15, 2012 at 10:52 am

Hey…guess what? They could also fall off their bikes and hurt themselves! Meh. I think using one responsibly is the way to go. We have had one for years—my kids know what they are and aren’t allowed to do. It’s the only time they play TOGETHER, and they are wicked tired when they get off it.


Kristy Hook May 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

TOTALLY agree with alimartell. Kids get hurt playing baseball, riding bikes, playing hopscotch…why not ban it all??! Teach them responsibility and common sense and all will have a blast! Grew up with one and have had one for my kids for yrs and never an injury to report because we were supervised and followed rules. My calf muscles STILL kick ass. PS – Sex on it will give you burns where your skin rubs and those burns ache for days.


Tonya May 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm

My child suffered skull fracture in the “safety” of my kitchen. Another broke her foot jumping off the couch. Yes, trampolines can be dangerous. As can bikes, scooters, and, uh, everyday life.


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I think we should just put them in bike helmets, like, full time.

amber May 15, 2012 at 10:54 am

My mom got me a trampoline when I was four. My best friend had one, too. I jumped and jumped and jumped. I got exercise. I taught myself to do flips and backflips and butt-sits and bounces and all manner of fun, coordinated, athletic things. I learned perseverance and sticking to something until you get it. I jumped in my swimsuit with the sprinkler when it was hot. I slept on it with friends, and sometimes under it, with blankets hung over the sides like a big tent. My dog jumped with me. I jumped my worries and fears away, I jumped and thought and had SO much fun.

It didn’t have spring covers. It didn’t have a surrounding net. I went to school with bruised shins from hitting the bar on the edge every time I launched my small body onto it. But my mom had rules. No more than two people on at any time. Expressed written permission from friends’ parents to allow them to jump.

Did I fall off? Sure, a couple times. Did that suck? Yes, but I never got seriously hurt. Would I have traded it for all the video games in the world?


It was an amazing thing to have as a child, and a fantastic set of memories.


Jamie May 15, 2012 at 10:56 am

Yesterday on your Facebook I commented about seeing legs and arms broken live and in person on trampolines. It’s gross. I also mentioned about the whole homeowner’s insurance thing not covering the neighbors kids if they were to break a limb. But what I didn’t mention is how much fun trampolines can be. And whether they do by by trampoline, bicycle, monkey bars, or tripping over their own feet, it’s pretty much inevitable that one way or another your kids will suffer from a broken arm or leg.

Also, I think parents who don’t love their kids have things like cages, and Fox News in their house. Not trampolines.


Heather May 15, 2012 at 7:27 pm

I love this! Awesome!


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Is it weird that in elementary school, I was ALWAYS super jealous of anyone who had a cast. It looked so fun…I apparently ignored the end when it smelled and they were shoving pencils down it to scratch.


Nicki May 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

Just don’t have sex on it while the kids are jumping and you should be all set!!!!


LouisianaMeredith May 15, 2012 at 10:59 am

I vote for “most awesome.” I also love that y’all have a codeword for medical emergencies. Hilarious.

PS? Gigi makes my ovaries get all shouty at me….not good!!


Tiffany May 15, 2012 at 10:59 am

I had one growing up, for years, and neither myself or any of the hundreds of friends I had over to jump ever got hurt. Teach them the rules and everything is fine, just like everything else. I would argue that more accidents happen with pools than trampolines and people with pools aren’t accused of not loving their children! Oh, and mine was a tumbling tramp (more bounce) with no wussy screen around it to catch me if I flew off and SURPRISE, still alive.


Nicki May 15, 2012 at 11:02 am

On a more serious note, as an EMT, I know that they can be dangerous (and I am not talking about passing out and breaking a leg). However, anything can be dangerous and you have set the rules. Stick to your guns. I will say that the life-threatening (and life-claiming) injuries I have seen involved older teens or adults, flips, and most often beer. I think your kids will be fine.


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Yeah, to be fair, they are so little all they basically do is hop around. Nothing too extreme yet. Until they are teens and like, jumping into the pond with it OMG WHY DID THAT NOT OCCUR TO ME!?


Nicki May 16, 2012 at 7:29 am

Uh oh….jumping off the roof, onto the trampoline then into the pond!!!


hdj May 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

When they’re teens, they won’t be jumping in the pond – they’ll be trying to have sex on it!


SwingCheese May 16, 2012 at 12:12 am

I was just going to say this exact thing: my husband was always “We need to get a trampoline when we have kids, they’re so much fun” and the last time we were at Sam’s, I pointed to it and said “Do we still want to talk about getting a trampoline?” Because I think it would be AWESOME. At which point his reply was “No, they’re too dangerous, I got hurt on one.” And yeah, he did. But the middle of Sam’s did not seem like an appropriate place to remind him that he was 16, drunk, and trying to impress a girl by doing flips, all descriptions that do not apply to our three year old son.


Nancy May 15, 2012 at 11:19 am

I constantly hurt myself on a trampolines when I was a kid- but is was so much FUN! We spent hours a day on the neighbors trampoline. As an adult- and probably because I live in Florida and we get assaulted by homeowner’s insurance, our kids can’t have one as it currently will cause our Homeowners Ins to be canceled- so that sucks. I say if it is not a problem for you insurance wise- keep those kids on that thing day and night!


Rachel May 15, 2012 at 11:45 am

When I was a kid, we were playing on one, and one of the girls did a belly flop on the trampoline and ended up breaking her arm. If that wasn’t enough to turn me off them for life, three years ago, my friend was jumping on a trampoline, and her knee locked when she came back down. Shattered her femur. SHATTERED. The recovery and physical therapy… she’s just now getting back to her normal activity level. These things scare me.


Becky (Princess Mikkimoto) May 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Listen, we had them in the 80′s and WE ARE FINE!
I do have that one crink in my neck that never leaves but otherwise FINE!


Tina May 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Dig a hole and sink it, like a classy above-ground pool with a “deep end”. And by “dig a hole” I mean, make Andy rent a bobcat and dig it out while you enjoy the AC.

If it’s lower to the ground, they can’t fall far, and thats how the bulk of injuries happen.

(I had this conversation in 1998 with my parents)


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:50 pm

So we can just dig a whole and set it in there, and it works the same way?


Tina May 15, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, it was just my sales pitch…… When I was like 8 I remember seeing footage of Neverland (you know, during Michael’s FIRST trial???) and HIS was sunk into the ground.

Agreeing that I would be ok with it sunk in ground was how my mom got on board with my getting one. But when dad saw how much work just putting the damn thing together was, he decided it wasn’t worth the CAT rental…..I never broke any bones though.


kara May 16, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I just can’t imagine not getting a trampoline because a kid might get hurt. Under that logic, don’t buy them bikes, any toys, skateboards, let them learn to swim, ski, or surf. Heck, don’t let them go to gym class or take dance or play baseball or football … in fact let’s just wrap them in bubble wrap and stash them in a corner until they’re 18.


Nellie May 15, 2012 at 12:29 pm

OMG, I am deathly afraid of heights so when I saw my nieces and their trampoline, I was hyperventillating. They dragged my ass on it and double jumped me – I was bounced to Kingdom come and back but I have to say, as afraid of it as I still am, I loved it!

My 4 1/2 year old daughter absolutely loves it too and if we had a big enough yard, I would definitely have gotten one for her by now – totally keeps her preoccupied and out like a light by 7:30pm!!


Jo Webb May 15, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Are you kidding me??? The MOST AWESOMEST !!!!! Of course my husband & I bought one because neither of our parents would buy one when we were kids. You know those old words, “well when I have kids of my own…”

Our 2 kids, neighbor kids, our cat, my husband & I.. we all jump. Our kids are impressed that at the ripe OLD age of 43, Mom & Dad can still do flips. You should try jumping on it!!!!! We’ve had it 6 1/2 years and no medical emergency. It has the safety net, of course. Noone’s even fallen off.


Doreen May 15, 2012 at 1:51 pm

My doctor called it “The Unfortunate Trampoline Incident” and I was in physical therapy for two months. Don’t drink and jump. WAY TOO MUCH FUN!


Heather May 15, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Here’e the thing…all I ever wanted in life was a trampoline…and a My Buddy…neither ever happened. With a Doctor Dad and an ER Nurse mom, it was an uphill battle. So you know what I did? I rode my bike to my friend’s houses and we put sprinklers under the trampolines and jumped to our little hearts out. I don’t recommend the sprinklers, btw. Wicked fun, but insanely dangerous. In all of my jumping years I never knew an injured kid or saw it happen. So yeah, some people get hurt on tramps…some don’t…but I’m still a 27 year old adult that goes to Scheels and dreams about buying the giant trampoline with a basketball hoop attached. And that’s not normal. Clearly, you’re making better decisions than my parents.


Mary May 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm

My friend had one without the safety net. I remember hating it specifically because of all the static electricity. The thing I remember most from that thing is always getting shocked. And, as one may expect from a kid who hated getting shocked, I was also a giant wimp and didn’t like jumping high. Pretty sure I never allowed my friend to double bounce me, and I also executed my own mediocre jumps in a very controlled manner. I wouldn’t ever get one for my kids (that I currently don’t have) partly because I live in LA and who can afford a yard out here and partly because I can only imagine how overprotective I’ll end up being. But that doesn’t mean others shouldn’t. And regarding Nikki’s comment, just make sure your kids don’t drink and jump.


jacqui May 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

When I was at my daughter’s pediatrician confessing that I was letting my baby sleep on her stomach he said something along the lines of, “don’t worry, it’s not like you bought them a trampoline”.

4 years later…trampoline.

We have rules and we’re very cautious (we have a Springfree which makes me feel a bit better- no legs through the holes) The biggest problem we have is our puppy stealing shoes when you leave them by the step!


Jennifer May 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

My cousin had one when we were growing up and no one ever broke anything. She did, however, break her ankle running down the hall at my house when she slipped. So, trampoline = fine, running in house = you’ll die.

The only person I’ve never known to get hurt on one was David when he was in his 20′s and he tried to do a back flip (like he was still a kid) and he tore his ACL. Just tell Andy no back flips.


Christine May 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Dig a hole and put it in there….that way when you fall its only like an inch off the ground!


Elinor May 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Best Idea Ever!*

*make safety rules and make sure all jumpers follow them! I was a trampoline coach (and competitor) all through High School (before they made it an olympic event) So I, more then most, understand the dangers but I also know you can mitigate them pretty well. When I have kids we will get a trampoline! I unfortunatly can not jump on them anymore (spinal injury not related to trampoline) and it will kill me to watch my kids have all the fun–but it is a must if you have the space/disposible income/proper insurance!!


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:36 pm

So I laid in the middle while they hopped around. It was like a chiropractor appointment with NO CO-PAY.


Dria May 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

We had years of fun on a trampoline, and we all very rough with each other on there. Pretty much anything that will tire kids out has some element of risk, and a trampoline is just so much fun!


Rachel May 15, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Trampolines… I had never really given a thought to one until I read this. Seeing as how I live in a tiny apartment with no backyard, I’m not in any place to purchase one anyway. However, I don’t know that I’d be that opposed to one. I mean, my kids are my kids. I’ve broken 2 toes while floating down the river. I’ve also walked directly into fire hydrants while walking down the street. I’m accident prone; my boys however, haven’t discovered that gene yet. But when they do, I’m certain it’ll be from falling off their scooters or tripping over a soccer ball. When I win the lottery and can afford housing with a real backyard, I think I’d want the trampoline for myself!

Good luck and hopefully the injuries aren’t ever too serious!


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I think America’s Funniest Home videos ruined the tramp’s rep FOR LIFE.


julie May 15, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Brittany, I love you. I have been reading for two years, you are insightful, hilarious, genious, you have so much integrity. But in the last little while all of your posts have been about big expensive things you are buying and great trips you are on. You were very relatable at one time, but now I see you are very wealthy and I am happy for you but self-admittedly a little jealous and definitely can’t relate to you as much as I used to, it’s like every post it’s becoming about “look what I can afford.” Haters, fire away. Brittany, I’m sorry. I really enjoy you, just finding your the posts of ” look what I bought and look where I went. ” a little relentless lately.


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Gosh, admittedly, I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to this. I am so happy that you have taken the time to read my site, and I love writing and doing what I do.

But, not that I owe anyone a financial statement or anything, I live in rural Ohio, we have one car, we live paycheck to paycheck, I travel for work and for, sigh, inlaws. As you can see from my dress up posts, I shop at Target, Walmart and Old Navy, oh and my water bill is like, 2 months late, but I also believe you shouldn’t have to pay for water.

So, I am sorry if what I post made you think I was wealthy, I’m just normal….and by that I mean I don’t have a savings account because only old people have those?


Bon Qui Qui May 15, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Yes I think Brittany has been getting her due for her amazing humor and efforts and so her work has been expanding, leading to travel. But I think she also has written more than once how bad she is about money ;) Love you Brittany! (I’m just as bad, and I giggle every time you mention overdraft fees because I am pretty shameless myself :)


Brittany May 15, 2012 at 11:02 pm

HA guilty. So so soooo guilty. I don’t even have checks because I refuse to believe people still use them in 2012. Warren Buffet would cry if he hung out with me for a day.

Loren Bell May 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Yo, B! Remember when I emailed you from the hospital about how embarrassing it was to go on WIC? Well, our situation has changed slightly since then because we work our asses off. I’m writing this on my new iPad while lying on Waikiki. My husband is here being interviewed for a very nice gentleman’s doctoral thesis, and I got to tag along. Last week I overdrew our account three times and sold the baby’s swing, bassinet, stroller,, and my stockpile of hand me downs that I was saving for him from my older son to get us back in the black each time. It’s money and stuff. Who cares . . . The memories you make with it are a gazillion times more important. Guess what, I made just as many precious memories with a negative checking account. Haters gonna hate, and jealousy is pointless. And also? Is the number one cause of wrinkles and halitosis. I am happy for you, and I still find you 1000% relatable. Except for the modeling thing. Can’t relate to that, but I’m waiting with baited breath for my fall Land’s End catalogue. One love, folks!


Nancy May 17, 2012 at 12:04 am

Brittany- you really owe nothing to your readers- Not about your financial situation. You are honest with us about what things REALLY matter- clothes, booze, your weight loss, your family- I don’t recall my W-2 being asked for in order to leave a comment.


Vanessalillian May 15, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Put it this way: I’ve broken my arm falling off the monkey bars, and also roller skating, but I wouldn’t dream of stopping my (future) kids from being included in those activities. I never had a trampoline but most of my friends did, and the only injury occurred when they used the sprinkler on it one summer and slipped through the springs and hit their foot on the retaining wall (it was an in-ground). A school friend’s nanny used to babysit me and at her place we’d jump from the trampoline into the pool and we never hurt ourselves or got in trouble for it. Mind you, her father was a race car legend who later died in a rally over in Western Australia when he wrapped his car around a tree, so perhaps safety standards in that household were a liiiiiiiitle different…


Sarah C May 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I totally know how you feel. I was totally against having a trampoline but my in laws always had one and when they went on clearance at Sam’s Club a few years ago, they bought us one, because my husband wanted one. I wasn’t to happy. It wasn’t the cool ones with the netting on it either. So we made a compromise, he would make it shorter (as in, lower to the ground). He found some old poles and cut them down and now our trampoline sits about 2 feet off the ground. I’m not so worried about the kids falling off and since right now they’re ages 2,4,6 and 8, no one is heavy enough to hit the ground….well but me, but I tell the kids I can’t jump because we all know how that goes….guess I need to do some Kegel exercises.


Courtney-O May 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Am I the only woman whose vagina goes into auto-Kegel mode the instant I read or hear someone say “Kegel”? Just wondering. ;-)


vanessalillian May 20, 2012 at 5:36 am

No, it’s not just you. I also scratch my head when someone says “lice”…


Elizabeth L. May 16, 2012 at 9:58 am

I got double bounced off a trampoline when I was 7 and broke my wrist. Of course this was back in the early 90s when nets were unheard of and putting a trampoline closer to the ground would have been considered “weird”. After the incident, my parents wouldn’t get me a trampoline, but believe me, whether or not someone had a trampoline had a big influence on whether or not I would be play with that person after school.

Make some rules, enforce the rules, and be prepared to take someone to the emergency room. But I would say those are pretty good rules for life with kids, not just life with a trampoline. :)


Marion May 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

We had a trampoline from when I was in 5th grade. My mother used to make the neighborhood parents sign letters saying they would not sue us if their kids got hurt on our trampoline. My mother used to scream ‘ONE AT A TIME!!!” all the time- without a net around the olympic size trampoline. We got a few burns from sliding on the surface of the trampoline, andwe used to take our sleeping bags to jump in, rollerskates(the cool metal ones you put on your shoes) and put lawn sprinklers under it during the summer. Fun! And Dad would jump on it with all of us and make us bounce really high. usually when Mom wasn’t around!


Loren Bell May 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Dear Kelly Blackbar, say that to my mom’s face. 100% more dangerous than any trampoline injury would ever be. We’re getting one for our daughter (and by daughter, I mean me) for her 5th birthday. Suck on that, LILILILILILI!

Have fun on it, B!


meleah rebeccah May 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Most definitely a BRILLIANT idea!


Chelsea McGowan May 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, and I’ll tell you right now, the trampoline-in-a-thunderstorm sex we had a couple weeks ago is the best sex we’ve ever had. No shame. It was amazing, and you should get you some.

Also, our kids love it, and have never gotten hurt. So they’re about due? I dunno. Screw anecdotal evidence. Just have fun!


Loren Bell May 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Yayayay! I CANNOT wait for a summer thunderstorm now, McG! I’ll get that mag in the mail as soon as we get back to TX!


hdj May 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm

So, my mom used to be an insurance adjuster, but in CA, not Ohio and I’m not sure what your rules are and I’m sure you’ve already checked this out, but you have some liability if the thing isn’t fenced and someone gets hurt on it and you have to file a claim. And if you file a claim and the insurance company didn’t know you had a trampoline, they could drop your homeowners. So at least you need to let them know you have it because you need homeowners insurance to have a house. And then they will probably tell you it has to be fenced so that some neighbor kid can’t come get on it and get hurt – because then you’ll be liable.

Also, most definitely in the TOTALLY AWESOME camp with this. SO!!MUCH!!FUN!!


Kendall May 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

We had one, WITHOUT one of the safety nets. Two jumpers were allowed at once. I am sure we broke that rule. Also our dog used to get up there with us.

The worst thing that happened to any of the three of us OR our friends was I was “riding” my big brother like he was a horse?? and he like, reared backwards and smacked his head into my nose, which bled everywhere.



Kendall May 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Also, once, my BFF and I convinced my parents to let us sleep on it one night, like we were camping. Only we didn’t think of bug spray… and the next morning my hands looked like a cartoon witch’s hands because of all of the mosquito bites.


Jen May 19, 2012 at 7:50 am

You are too funny. As a kid, I would have peed in my pants if my parents had gotten one for me. And, when I say “peed in my pants,” I mean in the best possible way. Sadly, they never did. It would have ruined the ambiance of the yard (short of eyesore.) As an adult, I don’t think I could stomach getting one. I’d be too afraid someone would break a leg and I’d have a feeling it would be me.
I wouldn’t worry too much. After about a week, the kids will lose interest. Maybe you can say it’s some sort of modern art installation and call it a day.


Lydia May 21, 2012 at 8:38 am

I spoke to a nurse once, and said ‘you must hate trampolines’ – she said no, the injuries she saw were when the kids were too tired so lost their coordination. Just keep them off it after 5pm and they should be fine! :)


Audrey May 21, 2012 at 11:33 pm

It’s been a week. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. A lot more than any rational person should. And I’m still vehemently anti-trampoline for children.

That said, 19 year old trampoline sex? Yeah…there was nothing wrong with that.


Dawn May 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I love trampolines…one little word to the wise though…drinking and jumping may sound fun but in reality…ummm, no. Merlot everywhere. Of course my young teenage kids thought it was just hysterical!


Carolyn June 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Um. Try this if you’re worried about injuries. People are starting to do it.


Amateur Mommy June 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm

OMG, I knew it wasn’t just me!!! My husband is forever going on about how we’ll have a trampoline some day, and I always tell him NO WAY! I had a friend who broke her freakin’ cheek bone on one of those things… I mean, granted, she was super drunk, and I don’t plan on letting my daughter jump on one intoxicated, but STILL. He says that’s not a good argument.

However, the trampoline sex? I guess I can ignore impending broken bones for that benefit.


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