My Favorite Things…again.

I got in from New York around 2am last night, and as I sat down at my bar with my 20 piece nugget and 3 containers of sweet n’ sour sauce I may or may not have rewarded myself with for making it through 1.5 hours of turbulence next to an old Indian woman listening to a Rickey Gervais comedy show on her iPod, I realized that I loved coming home to a clean house full of all my normal smells, my DVR all full of all my favorite shows (even that soft core porn one I tape for when I don’t like Andy), and all my mail in a nice little pile for me to look at.

So, I settled into the chair and opened my laptop so I could skype with all the West Coast people who weren’t giant pussies in bed already. I flipped through credit card offers (pass), car recall notices (dumb), a bank overdraft letter (I bought loafers from American Eagle that look old on purpose, long story, totally worthsies), and then I came to a small square box addressed to me.

I almost never get fun packages out of the blue, unless they’re from Klout, in which case they usually blow. Like a mouse sized vial of Axe hair gel, a poster signed by the cast of Hawaii Homicide CSVU Whatever, or $25 Vegan Granola Bars that taste like old pubic hair and somehow benefit poor farmers somewhere in probably Africa.

I opened the box to find the most amazing thing I had ever seen, and as I took out the tiny note attached to the outside of the box, a Facebook notification came through…and then I realized…

Tomorrow is my birthday and I had completely forgotten.

To be fair, apparently everyone else had forgotten as well, because no one has even asked me what I want, and I am totally not old enough that we are ignoring birthday gifts yet, that’s shit my mom does, and it’s totally all an act. She says she doesn’t need anything outside of just spending time with us, but what she means is, she wants lots of gifts but feels she is at an age she needs to appear meek and humble, so I call her bluff by presenting her with pornography and handmade coupons for free at home hair cuts.

Unless Andy has a surprise Alice in Wonderland themed birthday party waiting in the wings, or secretly got my name tattooed somewhere on his body, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was concerned, because I made his birthday this year pretty damn awesome. I don’t want to brag, but there were tiny monkeys with ascots involved, so yeah, bar raised.

So, what as in the box?

A whole army of flesh eating, decomposing, bad ass fucking zombies, from the folks at of Box O Zombies, who as you may remember, I featured in my Easter Edition Lazy Sunday.

I love them so much, and I’m feeling extra generous on account of it being my birthday, I have extreme jet-lag (Ohio has it’s own timezone. Like Narnia.), and I had so much fun giving away my favorite things last year, I’ve decided to kick off a few days of Brittany’s Favorite Things by giving away a box to one of you!

All you have to do is leave me a comment.

This giveaway runs today only, ending tonight at 11:59pm EST. One (1) winner will be randomly selected, and the prize delivered to them upon confirmation of winning within 24 hours. You may leave as many comments as you want, please make sure you use a valid email address for contact purposes.

 

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  1. Beth says

    These are hilarious! My niece walks around acting like a zombie. I think her and her brothers would love these.

  2. Anna says

    I’m not really into zombies, but my friend Lisa would love those!

    I hope you have a happy birthday filled with lots of surprises.

  3. heather says

    long time blog stalker here…..finally decided to speak up and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    and i want those fuckin box o’ zombies!

  4. says

    I still can’t fathom forgetting my own birthday, especially when it’s at the end of the month and you could have been mooching all of April, claiming it was your birthday month. Anyway, happy birthday, I want those zombies!

  5. AngelLeigh says

    Happy Birthday! Tiny monkeys in ascots is pretty hard to beat.

    Oh& I came online initially to check out something about the Walking Dead & instead my possessed hand typed in barefootfoodie & I got zombies anyway. Appreciated!

  6. says

    Happy birthday, Brittany, forreals.

    Dude my five year old daughter would SHIT HERSELF if she got her hands on these. Fingers crossed for little girls who love zombies everywhere!! ♥

  7. Beverly says

    Happy Birthday!!! I had a birthday this month also. April 15th. I was 54, and besides being old, it just plain sucks to have your birthday on tax day. Especially if you owe the government a lot of money. Oh well, at least I am so fricking old that I am one year closer to not giving a crap about what I look like, which means I can start wearing old lady polyester elastic waist pants. I can hardly wait:) Anyway, I love, love, love zombies. Reminds me of my extended family. Well kind of, but they would have to be zombies in jail.

  8. Heather says

    Happy early birthday! My mom has an upcoming birthday, but I would so not share the awesome box of zombies with her. (She’s getting We Bought A Zoo on Blu-Ray…it’s about all the excitement she can handle.)

  9. Hayley says

    Doesn’t it totally suck when you forget your birthday! You have missed the weeks of “so what are you going to get me” inquisitions, dropping mega hints, planning what they should all do to suprise you…. Bummer :(
    Anyway – hope you have an awesome birthday!
    Love the zomies!!

  10. Melanie says

    What an awesome thing to help celebrate Happy late zombie jeesus day! Or Easter, as they call it here in Georgia! Too awesome!

  11. Sara L says

    My three year old would win a gold medal if Plants vs Zombies was an Olympic Event! Happy Birthday Brittany, I hope your family spoils you rotten! Thanks for the laughs!

  12. Kim says

    Happy Birthday, Brittany! How cool would it be to play boring green “Army Men” with my son and KICK HIS ASS WITH ZOMBIES?

  13. Cheri says

    Happy Birthday!! A random box of zombies may just be the coolest thing ever sent through the mail…besides unexpected porn and pubic hair flavored vegan bars, of course.

  14. melissa says

    Please, please pick me! I pinned these on Pinterest because I wanted to get them for my best Walking Dead watching partner. But, alas I have no money til payday. And Happy Birthday! Thanks for all the laughs

  15. Linda says

    Zombies! Oh! I hope I win. They will get passed on as a Summer Reading prize but the teens deserve flesh eating zombies, don’t they?

  16. Linda says

    I’m glad I can leave another comment because I’m a big jerkface and you are awesome.

    I hope you have a great and wonderful birthday!

  17. Suzanne says

    Happy birthday chicko! Wow….a box of zombies….someone definitely LOVES you! I’m as green as those zombies with envy.

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