My Favorite Things…again.

I got in from New York around 2am last night, and as I sat down at my bar with my 20 piece nugget and 3 containers of sweet n’ sour sauce I may or may not have rewarded myself with for making it through 1.5 hours of turbulence next to an old Indian woman listening to a Rickey Gervais comedy show on her iPod, I realized that I loved coming home to a clean house full of all my normal smells, my DVR all full of all my favorite shows (even that soft core porn one I tape for when I don’t like Andy), and all my mail in a nice little pile for me to look at.

So, I settled into the chair and opened my laptop so I could skype with all the West Coast people who weren’t giant pussies in bed already. I flipped through credit card offers (pass), car recall notices (dumb), a bank overdraft letter (I bought loafers from American Eagle that look old on purpose, long story, totally worthsies), and then I came to a small square box addressed to me.

I almost never get fun packages out of the blue, unless they’re from Klout, in which case they usually blow. Like a mouse sized vial of Axe hair gel, a poster signed by the cast of Hawaii Homicide CSVU Whatever, or $25 Vegan Granola Bars that taste like old pubic hair and somehow benefit poor farmers somewhere in probably Africa.

I opened the box to find the most amazing thing I had ever seen, and as I took out the tiny note attached to the outside of the box, a Facebook notification came through…and then I realized…

Tomorrow is my birthday and I had completely forgotten.

To be fair, apparently everyone else had forgotten as well, because no one has even asked me what I want, and I am totally not old enough that we are ignoring birthday gifts yet, that’s shit my mom does, and it’s totally all an act. She says she doesn’t need anything outside of just spending time with us, but what she means is, she wants lots of gifts but feels she is at an age she needs to appear meek and humble, so I call her bluff by presenting her with pornography and handmade coupons for free at home hair cuts.

Unless Andy has a surprise Alice in Wonderland themed birthday party waiting in the wings, or secretly got my name tattooed somewhere on his body, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was concerned, because I made his birthday this year pretty damn awesome. I don’t want to brag, but there were tiny monkeys with ascots involved, so yeah, bar raised.

So, what as in the box?

A whole army of flesh eating, decomposing, bad ass fucking zombies, from the folks at of Box O Zombies, who as you may remember, I featured in my Easter Edition Lazy Sunday.

I love them so much, and I’m feeling extra generous on account of it being my birthday, I have extreme jet-lag (Ohio has it’s own timezone. Like Narnia.), and I had so much fun giving away my favorite things last year, I’ve decided to kick off a few days of Brittany’s Favorite Things by giving away a box to one of you!

All you have to do is leave me a comment.

This giveaway runs today only, ending tonight at 11:59pm EST. One (1) winner will be randomly selected, and the prize delivered to them upon confirmation of winning within 24 hours. You may leave as many comments as you want, please make sure you use a valid email address for contact purposes.

 

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  1. Maria says

    Oh Brittany, I hardly leave comments but your blog definitely brightens my day! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!

  2. Ron Morse says

    Happy Birthday Brittany! I hope your birthday is awesome! I honestly planned to wish you happy birthday even before you said you would give something away! Thanks for all the entertainment you provide – you deserve an incredible, over the top birthday!

  3. LibraryGirl62 says

    Happy Birthday!!! I wold LOVE a box o’ zombies to give a way to my kids at school…OK…that is just a cover…I want them :)

  4. brianne snow says

    The zombie garden gnomes are my new favorite thing – check them out, they would look great by the pond. Happy Birthday!! Best memory of this past year? Proudest moment? Hardest obstacle?

  5. Cindy says

    okay, in case i wasn’t really clear….

    pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me

    pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me

    pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. misty rennquist says

    Happy Birthday! I feel like I need a box of zombies now and I never knew I did up until I saw this picture of them.

  7. says

    Happy birthday Brittany! Also, if it’s your birthday, you do realise that birthday calories totally don’t count, don’t you…

  8. Jen Duffy says

    Sooo, if you step on one and it breaks the skin, do you become infected as well? I am ok with that. (I am thinking booby traps in the office.)

  9. Elizabeth says

    I once glued a whole bag of green army men along the underside of the kitchen cabinets in my first college apartment and my roommate just agreed that it was awesome to be watched by up-side-down army men while we cooked. And today is her birthday, too, which reminds me I need to call her. I wonder if my husband would be amused if I glued green zombies to our kitchen cabinets? Which really means, who is the better roommate? Also, happy birthday to you!

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