Welcome to February

by Brittany on February 16, 2012

in Adorably Mental

I’m like a bull in a china shop this week.

I keep knocking stuff over with my actions and feelings and giant feet.

I keep apologizing for things, and I think I am annoying people with my apologies, so I apologize again, and then they stop answering my texts and I’m like, where is everybody? I bet they are together, drinking and eating and talking about how annoying I am with my apologies and stupid big feet.

I try to explain this to Andy, but guy brains don’t understand girl metaphors, so he just sits there uncomfortably, then asks if I want to watch vampire movies or pop zits on his back, anything to make me happy and not ask him to dissect my feelings.

Then, I broke the thingy on my car that tells me how much gas I have, which is shockingly important, especially when you are as bad at guessing as I am, so I spend exorbitant amounts of time filling up my car so I don’t end up stalled on some creepy road in the country, like in the movie Nothing But Trouble, where people are turned into hot dogs.

Also, as of tomorrow, both my parents will be without work, and I had no idea how that would make me feel, but it’s like, this weird sense to like, take care of them, even though I’m still trying to take care of the people I already have, so now I just have more people to turn into weird metaphors.

And, I’m really really sleepy.

I’m not asking you to diagnose me, but if you want to climb into bed and watch teenage romance movies with me, that’d be great, because Can’t Hardly Wait is a great movie that nobody gives enough credit to. I think Jennifer Love Hewitt won a SAG award for it, and it’s the only reason I know who Barry Manilow is.

{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }

Amber February 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I LOVE Can’t Hardly Wait (Nobody drink the beer! The beer has gone bad!)

You, me, wine, Can’t Hardly Wait. It will totally happen in two weeks.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I cannot wait. Seriously. A WHOLE WEEEEEEEEKKKKK.

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MR February 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

My pms is in full swing and my hormones are all “we are going to kick your ass and make you rue the day you were born with overies!” So I’ll bring some chocolate and my teddy & see you in…. however long it takes to drive from Texas?

PS How freaking adorable is Seth Green (even when he is being a total sleaze)?

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I had such a crush on him in this movie, even with his sideways visor.

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Kate February 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm

LOVE Can’t Hardly Wait. I’ve had the soundtrack CD since high school and I still love it. That is a fantastic photo of you! Chin up, your parents will be ok as will everything and enjoy your bed and the remote until things seem easier to handle.

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Mandy February 16, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I love Can’t Hardly Wait. J Love and her light blue spaghetti strap tank are awesome in that movie!

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mamaschinsky February 16, 2012 at 1:05 pm

That’s the way I am, all the time. At least the crashing into things and apologizing part.
Also, both my parents are out of work right now. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I don’t like it. It makes me feel really bad because I have a job. Well, technically two jobs.

I will be the teenage-movie-watching person you need. But you should probably get extra wine, because I’m in this mood lately, too.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm

It’s weird because I almost NEVER apologize, so I have no idea why I am doing it now. Maybe my ovaries are enlarged and feeding me more girl hormone?

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Alisa February 16, 2012 at 1:09 pm

finally someone that understands that teenage romance movies and laying in bed is what you need when you’re feeling down. my hubs totally doesn’t get that. i’ll be over in a few hours. but i’m bringing my pj’s. and lots of wine.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I wouldn’t let you in the house without pj’s….or wine.

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Alisa February 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

deal! also …. have you tried the cinderella story movies? :) fabulous with some wine.

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Dana February 16, 2012 at 1:23 pm

you sound like I feel today.

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Faith February 16, 2012 at 1:35 pm

That movie is the only reason you know who Barry Manilow is???

Lucky bitch. :P

I will happily crawl into bed with you and watch teenage romance movies. From the comments above, sounds like it might be crowded! I’ll bring a box of wine, so as to help with any possible shortages that could occur. :D

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I think at this point, we should look into maybe buying a vineyard?

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Jaime February 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Today SUUUUUUUUCKS! Actually, the whole week does. I’m ready to just be anywhere but where I am at the moment. Preferable somewhere warm and beachy with only adults around and lots of alcoholic beverages that include gin and tequila, except not together because I’d probably die.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Or vomit everywhere. I’ve heard from friends that happens.

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Jaime February 16, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Yes, definitely vomit. And them pee my pants. And then die.

(Dude. This sounds morbid.)

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Jaime February 16, 2012 at 5:45 pm

*THEN!!! SONOFABITCH!!!

Doreen February 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Okay – a movie is good but so is a crappy teen novel about vampires. Check out “My Blood Approves” series by Amanda Hocking. Quick, easy, dumb but fun. Best with wine or booze of any sort. Hang in there Chica!!

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I just bought it on Kindle, thanks!

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Lori February 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Totally off topic-
What a great picture of you! It’s a rare photo that shows your whole face and eyes looking at the camera.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Thank you. And you are right, I am not sure why I always do that, must be a confidence thing, like if I don’t make eye contact, I feel less focused on?

Or I am a really awkward picture taker.

One of those.

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Angie February 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I feel like you must be a long-lost member of my family. You write things I think but am not brave enough to put out there for others to see or hear, lest they wonder about my sanity (it’s gone – after all I do have kids). Hang in there, things will get better. In the meantime, enjoy your teen romance movies. Wish I could join you and the multitude of fellow winos that have pledged their commitment.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I stopped worrying about them thinking I’m crazy a super long time ago. On the plus side, when they realize you are, they’ll finally leave you alone because their afraid of you.

It all works out in the end.

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly) February 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I will (raises hand) but only if we can bring out the really awesomely cheesy ones like License to Drive and The Breakfast Club and Mermaids.
I’ll bring the wine and the red licorice.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Yes to all three, I can’t even pick which I am more excited about, but let’s say Mermaids.

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly) February 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I know why!! Because Micheal Schoeffling is in it (Jake Ryan himself) and he is all hot and swarthy and he totally does it in the bell tower of a convent. Swoon. Damn that man was too hot for film. Just thinking about him gives me boob sweats.

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SwingCheese February 16, 2012 at 10:07 pm

License to Drive! License to Drive! I LOVE that movie!!

Ahem.

Wait, Jake Ryan was in Mermaids? How did I not know this? I’ve seen that movie a billion times!

Kat February 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I cried at work today, really hard in my co-worker’s office. I also did last night when I got home from work. This week has been terrible, but I guess I’m not alone there. I’ve already watched Breaking Dawn 1 this week, but may have to watch again tonight.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Don’t say a word, I’m just going to hug you. It’s not creepy if I don’t hum while I do it, just go with it.

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Kat February 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Thank you. I never get emotional at work, but I was sobbing like my dog just died this morning. I think it’s the Atkins diet I’ve been on. Maybe instead of a shoulder to cry on I should’ve asked for some candy. Effin’ lack of carbs…

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm

My husband is doing it, so I have been casually doing it with him, and I will tell you what, I feel like a mess and I am exhausted.

I think you just reaffirmed that I am done, he’s on his own.

Amy February 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I also love that movie but you have to go check out a hard to find one…it’s called “Girl” and it’s all teenage angst and sexy time. You’ll love it.

Also, I hear you on the parent thing…my parents are going through similar difficulties and I can’t take care of them so it makes me even more worried. Just keep pulling forward…all will work out!

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:01 pm

It’s so weird how that happens, that pull to all of a sudden take care of your parents how they took care of you?

Maybe we SHOULD just push them out to sea on icebergs?

I’m kidding, mom.

Maybe.

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Boot~C February 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I hear ya’, it has been one of those weeks so far hasn’t it?I cannot watch movies or drink beer right now because I haven’t slept since Tuesday & sitting & drinking adult bev’s would put me smooth out.I admitted to myself(& a few select others today)that I am a Hoarder (but w/o the dead animals & human feces) & so am trying to clean(not all, but at least some of )the things. May I leave you w/ a hopefully helpful suggestion about the gas gauge? See about how far you go on a tank w/ the resetable(is that a real word?) odometer & make sure you stay under that milage. Hope your week finishes off better, remember breeeathe.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:00 pm

If it matters, non dead animal and feces hoarders are my favorite kind of hoarders.

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jen February 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

FLAT CATS

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Tawny February 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Can’t Hardly Wait is a fantastic lay in bed movie. I just watched it again for the 900th time last week. Also I just recently watched Nothing but Trouble again. Love that crazy ass movie. I also live in DE now so when they are driving through strange PA towns it really makes me leary to get lost in these parts.

On another note – my parents retired 3 years ago right before I moved away and I am constantly wondering if they are ok. My parents are both fit and healthy, have a ton of friends, and more of a social life than me and yet I worry. Circle of life. Glad I am not alone in this weird strange feeling. Sometimes it hides from me but it is always there. It is almost like the older I get the more I am reminded my relationship with them has an expiration date.

Ok this just became the most depressing comment ever!
Scoot over I need to crawl in bed with you and eat my weight in Sonic.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Eat your weight in Sonic? Screw the bed, you and I are sharing a sleeping bag!

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Tawny February 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Your boobs and my boobs are going to need to their own sleeping bag.

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Beth February 16, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I am totally in as long as we can add salt caramel gelato to the mix!

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Amy February 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I’m sorry that you’re sorry for being sorry and that you feel badly about it.
The owner of the agency I work in says women apologize too much. I try to tell him it’s because men never do and if we ever want to give our man the pickle jar to open or want to find our car without bushwacking through the weeds in front of the house to get to the driveway – an apology is necessary. Not that I couldn’t do those things myself. But there’s a whole issue of not wanting to. Which I don’t.
So to sum up. I blame Andy for your over-apologizing and will now start talking about him incessantly behind his back.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I really like you, a lot.

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Kristin February 16, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You literally just described the last few weeks of my life. No really. I’m pretty sure my best friend will punch me in the face if I say I’m sorry again. I’ve found that St. Elmo’s Fire really tends to fix all of my life problems. And my size 9 feet <3 your big feet :)

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I’m a ten but sometimes I can be a 9, so that counts, right?

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Kristin February 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Counts for me.

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Lindsey February 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Please watch “the babysitters” I watched it a few months ago when I was feeling down. Sat on the couch with a glass (bottle) of wine and deep conditioned my hair. Maybe don’t include your kids when watching the movie..

Drink your sorrows, sweetie.

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Brittany February 16, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I just looked it up, it looks like EXACTLY my kind of movie! I love teenagers who are go-getters!

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Lindsey February 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I’m right there with you.

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meleah rebeccah February 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

You and your big feet can stop apologizing now.

And I loved the movie Can’t Hardly Wait. Classic.

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Kelly February 16, 2012 at 5:42 pm

“I’m a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school, my friends all sold me out… and somebody in there just called me a fag!”

I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie! It is amazeballs and I need to own it… :)

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Cindy Richards February 16, 2012 at 5:46 pm

My coworker does the no carb thing and she is seriously sick more then she isn’t. She has terrible migranes, break outs, mood swings, no energy, etc. I love carbs and will watch the calorie intake before the low carbs. I love pizza, cheese, beer, etc. Life is too short. Hope your week gets better!

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Katie February 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Do you still have the owner’s manual for your car? Or maybe you can find it online. It should tell you about how many miles per gallon you can expect. Mine gets about 275/tank, so I just refill at 250, using my Trip Odometer. Love a hoopdie :)

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Ashley Taylor (@ashleytaylor76) February 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I totally get what you mean. I had this whole great comment written out to you (great to me, I mean) and then the computer ate it. Wah.
Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mother’s death, so I totally blogged about it, of course, which turned out to be both good (therapeutic, cathartic, blah, blah, blah) and bad (crying, sad, blah, blah, blah) and everyone was so kind when they read it and said such nice things to me (which you totally should now, too ;)), but that was even strange in a way because I felt this knee jerk reaction to want to pull inward and respond with sarcasm, even though I was the one who exposed my feelings in the first place. Gah.
So, do you have any advice for what movie to watch for that predicament? Is it going to still be Can’t Hardly Wait, because if so, I am totally down with that.
http://www.thedoseofreality.com

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Rachel February 16, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Did I write this? So weird. Same feelings.

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Ashley Taylor February 16, 2012 at 8:36 pm

I totally get what you mean. Have been feeling that way this week, too.
Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mother’s death, so naturally I blogged about it, which was both good (therapeutic, cathartic, blah, blah, blah) and bad (sad, crying, blah, blah, blah) but then people started saying really nice things to me (like you totally should after you read it, of course ;)) which made me feel completely exposed even though, hello, I was the one who blogged about it. So, my instinct was to become all sarcastic rather than just accept the sympathy. Gah.
Obviously, I need some movie guidance. What do you recommend for that? Still go with Can’t Hardly Wait? If so, I am snatching it up!
Ashley
http://www.thedoseofreality.com

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Lindsay February 16, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I’ve got a big nose, big feet and big boobs. Oh the hazards… Hope all turns around soon, but in the meantime make sure to also watch Better Off Dead.

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elinor February 16, 2012 at 11:55 pm

10 things I hate about you (the movie) and I’ll scratch your head? that’s my foolproof feel better formula…

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NoNo February 17, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I read somewhere that you can hack the gas problem by putting a golf ball into your gas tank. It floats around in there and won’t interfere with anything but when you run low enough for the ball to roll around on the bottom of the tank you can hear it and know it’s time to fill up again.

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