Welcome to February

I’m like a bull in a china shop this week.

I keep knocking stuff over with my actions and feelings and giant feet.

I keep apologizing for things, and I think I am annoying people with my apologies, so I apologize again, and then they stop answering my texts and I’m like, where is everybody? I bet they are together, drinking and eating and talking about how annoying I am with my apologies and stupid big feet.

I try to explain this to Andy, but guy brains don’t understand girl metaphors, so he just sits there uncomfortably, then asks if I want to watch vampire movies or pop zits on his back, anything to make me happy and not ask him to dissect my feelings.

Then, I broke the thingy on my car that tells me how much gas I have, which is shockingly important, especially when you are as bad at guessing as I am, so I spend exorbitant amounts of time filling up my car so I don’t end up stalled on some creepy road in the country, like in the movie Nothing But Trouble, where people are turned into hot dogs.

Also, as of tomorrow, both my parents will be without work, and I had no idea how that would make me feel, but it’s like, this weird sense to like, take care of them, even though I’m still trying to take care of the people I already have, so now I just have more people to turn into weird metaphors.

And, I’m really really sleepy.

I’m not asking you to diagnose me, but if you want to climb into bed and watch teenage romance movies with me, that’d be great, because Can’t Hardly Wait is a great movie that nobody gives enough credit to. I think Jennifer Love Hewitt won a SAG award for it, and it’s the only reason I know who Barry Manilow is.

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  1. says

    I LOVE Can’t Hardly Wait (Nobody drink the beer! The beer has gone bad!)

    You, me, wine, Can’t Hardly Wait. It will totally happen in two weeks.

  2. MR says

    My pms is in full swing and my hormones are all “we are going to kick your ass and make you rue the day you were born with overies!” So I’ll bring some chocolate and my teddy & see you in…. however long it takes to drive from Texas?

    PS How freaking adorable is Seth Green (even when he is being a total sleaze)?

  3. Kate says

    LOVE Can’t Hardly Wait. I’ve had the soundtrack CD since high school and I still love it. That is a fantastic photo of you! Chin up, your parents will be ok as will everything and enjoy your bed and the remote until things seem easier to handle.

  4. says

    That’s the way I am, all the time. At least the crashing into things and apologizing part.
    Also, both my parents are out of work right now. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I don’t like it. It makes me feel really bad because I have a job. Well, technically two jobs.

    I will be the teenage-movie-watching person you need. But you should probably get extra wine, because I’m in this mood lately, too.

    • Brittany says

      It’s weird because I almost NEVER apologize, so I have no idea why I am doing it now. Maybe my ovaries are enlarged and feeding me more girl hormone?

  5. Alisa says

    finally someone that understands that teenage romance movies and laying in bed is what you need when you’re feeling down. my hubs totally doesn’t get that. i’ll be over in a few hours. but i’m bringing my pj’s. and lots of wine.

  6. says

    That movie is the only reason you know who Barry Manilow is???

    Lucky bitch. :P

    I will happily crawl into bed with you and watch teenage romance movies. From the comments above, sounds like it might be crowded! I’ll bring a box of wine, so as to help with any possible shortages that could occur. :D

  7. says

    Today SUUUUUUUUCKS! Actually, the whole week does. I’m ready to just be anywhere but where I am at the moment. Preferable somewhere warm and beachy with only adults around and lots of alcoholic beverages that include gin and tequila, except not together because I’d probably die.

  8. Doreen says

    Okay – a movie is good but so is a crappy teen novel about vampires. Check out “My Blood Approves” series by Amanda Hocking. Quick, easy, dumb but fun. Best with wine or booze of any sort. Hang in there Chica!!

  9. Lori says

    Totally off topic-
    What a great picture of you! It’s a rare photo that shows your whole face and eyes looking at the camera.

    • Brittany says

      Thank you. And you are right, I am not sure why I always do that, must be a confidence thing, like if I don’t make eye contact, I feel less focused on?

      Or I am a really awkward picture taker.

      One of those.

  10. says

    I feel like you must be a long-lost member of my family. You write things I think but am not brave enough to put out there for others to see or hear, lest they wonder about my sanity (it’s gone – after all I do have kids). Hang in there, things will get better. In the meantime, enjoy your teen romance movies. Wish I could join you and the multitude of fellow winos that have pledged their commitment.

    • Brittany says

      I stopped worrying about them thinking I’m crazy a super long time ago. On the plus side, when they realize you are, they’ll finally leave you alone because their afraid of you.

      It all works out in the end.

      • says

        I know why!! Because Micheal Schoeffling is in it (Jake Ryan himself) and he is all hot and swarthy and he totally does it in the bell tower of a convent. Swoon. Damn that man was too hot for film. Just thinking about him gives me boob sweats.

        • SwingCheese says

          License to Drive! License to Drive! I LOVE that movie!!

          Ahem.

          Wait, Jake Ryan was in Mermaids? How did I not know this? I’ve seen that movie a billion times!

  11. says

    I cried at work today, really hard in my co-worker’s office. I also did last night when I got home from work. This week has been terrible, but I guess I’m not alone there. I’ve already watched Breaking Dawn 1 this week, but may have to watch again tonight.

    • Brittany says

      Don’t say a word, I’m just going to hug you. It’s not creepy if I don’t hum while I do it, just go with it.

      • says

        Thank you. I never get emotional at work, but I was sobbing like my dog just died this morning. I think it’s the Atkins diet I’ve been on. Maybe instead of a shoulder to cry on I should’ve asked for some candy. Effin’ lack of carbs…

        • Brittany says

          My husband is doing it, so I have been casually doing it with him, and I will tell you what, I feel like a mess and I am exhausted.

          I think you just reaffirmed that I am done, he’s on his own.

  12. Amy says

    I also love that movie but you have to go check out a hard to find one…it’s called “Girl” and it’s all teenage angst and sexy time. You’ll love it.

    Also, I hear you on the parent thing…my parents are going through similar difficulties and I can’t take care of them so it makes me even more worried. Just keep pulling forward…all will work out!

    • Brittany says

      It’s so weird how that happens, that pull to all of a sudden take care of your parents how they took care of you?

      Maybe we SHOULD just push them out to sea on icebergs?

      I’m kidding, mom.

      Maybe.

  13. says

    I hear ya’, it has been one of those weeks so far hasn’t it?I cannot watch movies or drink beer right now because I haven’t slept since Tuesday & sitting & drinking adult bev’s would put me smooth out.I admitted to myself(& a few select others today)that I am a Hoarder (but w/o the dead animals & human feces) & so am trying to clean(not all, but at least some of )the things. May I leave you w/ a hopefully helpful suggestion about the gas gauge? See about how far you go on a tank w/ the resetable(is that a real word?) odometer & make sure you stay under that milage. Hope your week finishes off better, remember breeeathe.

  14. Tawny says

    Can’t Hardly Wait is a fantastic lay in bed movie. I just watched it again for the 900th time last week. Also I just recently watched Nothing but Trouble again. Love that crazy ass movie. I also live in DE now so when they are driving through strange PA towns it really makes me leary to get lost in these parts.

    On another note – my parents retired 3 years ago right before I moved away and I am constantly wondering if they are ok. My parents are both fit and healthy, have a ton of friends, and more of a social life than me and yet I worry. Circle of life. Glad I am not alone in this weird strange feeling. Sometimes it hides from me but it is always there. It is almost like the older I get the more I am reminded my relationship with them has an expiration date.

    Ok this just became the most depressing comment ever!
    Scoot over I need to crawl in bed with you and eat my weight in Sonic.

  15. says

    I’m sorry that you’re sorry for being sorry and that you feel badly about it.
    The owner of the agency I work in says women apologize too much. I try to tell him it’s because men never do and if we ever want to give our man the pickle jar to open or want to find our car without bushwacking through the weeds in front of the house to get to the driveway – an apology is necessary. Not that I couldn’t do those things myself. But there’s a whole issue of not wanting to. Which I don’t.
    So to sum up. I blame Andy for your over-apologizing and will now start talking about him incessantly behind his back.

  16. Kristin says

    You literally just described the last few weeks of my life. No really. I’m pretty sure my best friend will punch me in the face if I say I’m sorry again. I’ve found that St. Elmo’s Fire really tends to fix all of my life problems. And my size 9 feet <3 your big feet :)

  17. Lindsey says

    Please watch “the babysitters” I watched it a few months ago when I was feeling down. Sat on the couch with a glass (bottle) of wine and deep conditioned my hair. Maybe don’t include your kids when watching the movie..

    Drink your sorrows, sweetie.

  18. Kelly says

    “I’m a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school, my friends all sold me out… and somebody in there just called me a fag!”

    I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie! It is amazeballs and I need to own it… :)

  19. Cindy Richards says

    My coworker does the no carb thing and she is seriously sick more then she isn’t. She has terrible migranes, break outs, mood swings, no energy, etc. I love carbs and will watch the calorie intake before the low carbs. I love pizza, cheese, beer, etc. Life is too short. Hope your week gets better!

  20. says

    Do you still have the owner’s manual for your car? Or maybe you can find it online. It should tell you about how many miles per gallon you can expect. Mine gets about 275/tank, so I just refill at 250, using my Trip Odometer. Love a hoopdie :)

  21. says

    I totally get what you mean. I had this whole great comment written out to you (great to me, I mean) and then the computer ate it. Wah.
    Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mother’s death, so I totally blogged about it, of course, which turned out to be both good (therapeutic, cathartic, blah, blah, blah) and bad (crying, sad, blah, blah, blah) and everyone was so kind when they read it and said such nice things to me (which you totally should now, too ;)), but that was even strange in a way because I felt this knee jerk reaction to want to pull inward and respond with sarcasm, even though I was the one who exposed my feelings in the first place. Gah.
    So, do you have any advice for what movie to watch for that predicament? Is it going to still be Can’t Hardly Wait, because if so, I am totally down with that.
    http://www.thedoseofreality.com

  22. says

    I totally get what you mean. Have been feeling that way this week, too.
    Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mother’s death, so naturally I blogged about it, which was both good (therapeutic, cathartic, blah, blah, blah) and bad (sad, crying, blah, blah, blah) but then people started saying really nice things to me (like you totally should after you read it, of course ;)) which made me feel completely exposed even though, hello, I was the one who blogged about it. So, my instinct was to become all sarcastic rather than just accept the sympathy. Gah.
    Obviously, I need some movie guidance. What do you recommend for that? Still go with Can’t Hardly Wait? If so, I am snatching it up!
    Ashley
    http://www.thedoseofreality.com

  23. NoNo says

    I read somewhere that you can hack the gas problem by putting a golf ball into your gas tank. It floats around in there and won’t interfere with anything but when you run low enough for the ball to roll around on the bottom of the tank you can hear it and know it’s time to fill up again.

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