A Photo Essay: I think I wanna marry you.

by Brittany on September 2, 2011

in Love, Marriage

I recently received an email asking how Andy and I got engaged, and because I actually have engagement photos, and I finally figured out what button makes my scanner work and can stop screaming CRUCIO! at it and throwing it across the office, I thought, why not?

Plus Andy is all, it’s not magic if you are smashing it into the walls with your hands.

Whatever, Snape.

Andy and I met in pre-school.  It was the only one in town at the time, held in the basement of a Methodist church with sea foam green brick walls and carpet that was always moist.

preschool sweethearts

He was a transformer, I was a Wuzzle.

It was a very Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers situation, as robot – sexually impossible animal hybrid dating was largely frowned upon in the 80s. (boo, Reagan.)

We went our separate ways, he to a public elementary, me to a convent.

Until circumstances beyond our control brought us together again later in High School, and I spent the next two years trying to convince him to change his name to Drew, because it sounded way more exotic.

PromLost in the Night.  1998.  These outfits really happened.

One week before we went away to college, I asked Andy to marry me on my parent’s couch while we watched the Drew Carey Show.  He said no.  I pretended I was kidding and told him I didn’t want to marry him, anyways.

We dated through college, moved into a two bedroom apartment together in Columbus, and adopted a pair of homosexual cats, Jack and Gray.  They spent a lot of time being intimate in front of the television, watching cars out the window, and bickering about the throw pillows.

We were blissfully happy, until one day we weren’t.

He moved back home with our cats, and left me in an empty apartment.

I ran away to work at a summer camp.

american gothic

It’s exactly like the movie Wet Hot American Summer and Meatballs.  The first one, not the second one…the whole alien thing was ridiculous.

By the end of the summer, oats were sewn, drunk dials were had and sloppy apologies were made.  I’d like to think the fact that I spent the summer on a horse in jeans, white tank tops and cowboy boots moved things along.

Girls are almost never not hot on horseback.

Except at Renaissance weddings.  Those are mostly awkward, there’s never any silverware, someone always stabs themselves with a sword, and the “mead” is just watery Bud Light.

So the truth is, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, Andy proposed to me in a cemetery, and one day, I will probably go into more detail on that because it’s hilarious and almost nobody knows that story because Andy thinks it makes us sound insane. So, in a more mainstream and official fashion, we gathered our friends went to the zoo to see the twinkly lights.  It was terribly cold and the only reason I agreed to go was because Andy made me a thermos of warm rum cider.

engagement 1Freezing my clitoris off on a slab of cold concrete we posed for pretty pictures.

engagement 2He whispered that one important question in my ear, again.

engagement 3And boom, awkward kiss that I can never, ever unsee.

And then we got married.

So, that’s how that happened.

Casey September 2, 2011 at 10:16 am

Yeah so those pictures totally brought back memories. I love you both and so happy you found the love of your life. He is a great person and you are a great person and together you make great people (and little people).

HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!! :D

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Did you just call me a midget?

kelly September 2, 2011 at 10:16 am

That is the prom dress I wanted! Jessica McClintock, right? Haha! Great story though :)

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

True story…my mom and I made it. We couldn’t afford the real one. I was that girl.

kelly September 2, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Shut up! We couldn’t afford it either but my alternative was a dress from the sale rack at Gantos, not hand-crafting an exact replica with my mom! Admittedly, I may not have thought that was super cool back then, but I love the idea now!

Nelly September 2, 2011 at 10:18 am

Super sweet! Although you have totally made me want to get engaged even more, my boyfriend will not be pleased.

Matt September 2, 2011 at 10:18 am

I was just about to ask you how you froze your clitoris off. Thanks for clearing that up!

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Yes. Frostbite. Turned black and fell off.

Rachel September 2, 2011 at 10:24 am

Oh Andy, I was a junior in 1998. You can try to play it off as “it was cool then” but I know better.

Matt September 2, 2011 at 10:32 am

HOLY SHIT, I am totally in that pre-school picture. Behind the elephant. In the cardboard box that’s supposed to be Bumblebee.

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

You mean, you weren’t one of 5 Wuzzles I spotted in that picture?

Bad ass costume, Matt. I think we need a full body shot of that!

Rachel September 2, 2011 at 10:36 am

Did anyone else just start singing Marry You?

The Glee cover. Not the Bruno Mars version.

Obviously.

Karli October 4, 2011 at 12:55 am

yes, yes I did! :D

Kate September 2, 2011 at 10:38 am

Love.

Ed Adams September 2, 2011 at 10:45 am

The cuteness of it all brought a tear to my sock puppets eye.

I have no idea what that means.

Congrats. Belatedly by 3 kids.

Maggie September 2, 2011 at 11:01 am

Yes ME TOO…@Rachel…it’s one of my faves! It will now be in my head allll day. Great love story Brittany! Can’t deny fate!! Also? Andy, in the prom pic?? PRICELESS!

mommabird2345 September 2, 2011 at 11:47 am

I still can’t get over the top hat and cane in the prom pic.

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Horrendous, right!?

Mandy Fish September 2, 2011 at 11:49 am

The top hat leaves me speechless. You picked it out for him, didn’t you?

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm

NO.

I begged him not to wear that, but it’s what all the rural boys with urban dreams were doing in the 90s.

Be shocked he isn’t wearing a Bone Thugs N Harmony gold necklace. He was THAT awesome back then.

Kim September 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a lovely story but I’m still stuck on the top hat and CANE.

MommyNamedApril September 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm

dammit woman, i’m pregnant. you can’t tell stories like that. now i’m a sobbing fucking mess. thankyouverymuch.

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm

I told Andy he has to wear a top hat the entire time you are here.

MommyNamedApril September 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm

i love you.

improperly forward September 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I’m terribly sorry to hear about your clitoris. I was very busy worrying about the rabid polar bear I thought was about to eat your head. (Then I realized it was made of snow and felt like a complete idiot.)
The only thing keeping me from being a sobbing mess about the sugary sweetness of this whole story is, thank god, the image of that that top hat which will forever make me giggle when I picture it.

Brittany September 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Dapper, right?

Ahem.

Elizabeth September 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm

That…was awesome. Thank you for sharing. I heart you five a little more every time I read your blog.

Jen September 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Aw, that was so sweet. You guys are such an awesome couple.

AJ September 2, 2011 at 1:15 pm

At first glance, I thought the preschool picture was Jude! He’s totally a mini-Andy!!

Sweet story:)

Meghan September 2, 2011 at 1:36 pm

How sweet is that! I love it. Way better than meeting your husband on a blind date, sleeping with him 10 days later & your first born is due on the day you officially met one year later. That’s how I roll.

Amber Davis September 2, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Ok…first I just wanna say AWWWW!! How Sweet!! Then, I just have to say…wow Andy….LOVE the leather jacket!!!! :o)

Txtingmrdarcy September 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Sad Fact: You two were totally the adorable kids who turned into the hot couple that everyone either loves or hates.

I’m in the former camp, btw.

BB September 2, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Also in this category. Feeling smug for the first time since the wedding. :)

ShredderFeeder September 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

The top-hat and cane totally rocks..

Keep putting on the ritz.. ;-)

My wife was my first love, but we didn’t meet until Jr. High. You guys totally win.

My goal was simple. It was: “Find someone who won’t kill me in my sleep.”

So far, so good.

Jennifer September 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm

One of the most awesome things in the world is marrying someone that has been around that long.

Kristie September 2, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Holy Shit, Brittany. Your camp boobs! Honestly, it’s a wonder you were even ABLE to ride a horse. Not that they aren’t totally lovely and life-giving and all. I’m just saying that I didn’t have anything like that until I purchased them with real, American Visa card.

Kristie September 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Also, the cardboard bee looks like he’s holding a hobo-wrapped forty.

mama schinsky September 2, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I laughed, I cried, it moved me.
I’m pregnant. We’re a sensitive breed.

Also, I noticed you wore heels to a zoo-Christmas-light trip? You really wanted him! I’ve worn heels for my Andy all of two times. One was to get some at Halloween and the other was our wedding.

Actually, I guess I got some both times.

Leslie September 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I LOVE this. I love that you’ve known each other since preschool. PRESCHOOL! Wow!
Had I ever gone to prom (was never asked, no one went in a group at Bowsher), there was a robin’s-egg blue Jessica McClintock dress at Gantos I would have had to have.

Brittany September 17, 2011 at 8:09 am

I think I drooled over EVERY dress at Gantos.

Anna September 2, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Yay! And thanks so much for sharing the prom picture. Andy’s ensemble made me laugh my ass off!

Kyle September 2, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I also proposed to my (live-in) boyfriend, on Christmas eve, and he said “Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” like he was having a stroke. I then said -fine. I didn’t want you to say yes anyway. (lie). It would be a year and 6 months later that he proposed in the middle of Time Square on vacation in New York (from Kansas – hello bright lights, big city) and I was so distracted by the ring I never really said yes. But every once and a while I can make him feel really awful by reliving the stroke moment he crushed my heart. Maybe you can milk yours too.

Sarah September 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm

You two are too cute. Except guys who wear leather gloves always make me think they have gun up their sleeve or in their bums. Or wherever you put guns.

http://www.parentingwithpinot.com

Josh Baltzell September 6, 2011 at 10:29 am

Whoa. My kids are named Jack and Gray.

For serious.

Laura September 23, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I bet they argue over the throw pillows too.

meleah rebeccah September 6, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Awwww! What a wonderful love story!

The prom photo with the caption “These outfits really happened” made me laugh out loud, but not as much as I laughed when I read ” freezing my clitoritis off on a slab of cold concrete” – because nothing says True Love quite like a frozen vagina.

Mary Poppins in Heels September 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm

I just read this again, after reading it yesterday. I love this story! Can I borrow it?

Mimzy Wimzy September 7, 2011 at 9:56 pm

So cute.
#commenthour

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