I think James Earl Jones is kinda dick.

I know!

What am I even saying!?  He’s America’s sweetheart!?  But, just hear me out.

When people are asked to be the most famous voice over person in the world, it’s super humbling, ask Morgan Freeman, he’s a classy guy, I just want to curl up on his lap and let him read me the last Harry Potter novel.

But sometimes,  they get all smug sounding, so when they do books on tape or erectile dysfunction commercials, their voice gets all uppity and superior, like , DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? I’M JAMES EARL JONES, THE VOICE OF DARTH VADER AND MUFASA, AND I’M  TALKING ABOUT THIS HERE WIENER DRUG AND YOUR EYES BETTER NOT GLAZE OVER WHILE I LIST OUT THESE MOTHERFUCKING SIDE EFFECTS, BITCH.

I just find him very unsavory.

The next time we elect a new person to provide the vocals for every spoken televised word ever, I’d like to nominate this guy.

OMG CLICK ME.

God Bless America.

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