There is a hot tub room off of our bedroom.
The second we moved in, we were all, WOOO HOOO HOT TUB!
Because, as you learn early on, only really awesome things happen in hot tubs.
Well, ok, not everything is awesome. My first hot tub experience was at Tami Taylor’s birthday party in junior high. Her mom rented a hotel room, and let a group of friends come along, and it was pretty much the coolest thing to ever happen to a group of pre-teen girls. We spent the evening in bikinis, drinking mountain dew, eating peanut butter cups and smoking in the pool area where the parents couldn’t see. Between the cigarette smoke and the hours in the hot tub, by the time we got back up to the room, three of us were puking.
In my head, I was already planning all the dirty hot tubs things Andy and I could do, plus, if I was too tired to run a bath, I could always just plop the kids in there, because chlorine cleans basically everything.
It was… fun.
Hot tubs are surprisingly uneventful when you aren’t twelve or piss drunk on the side of a mountain in the snow.
Plus, it’s hard to be romantic when you have a jet in your perineum.
Also, I think Andy wasn’t putting enough chemicals in it because it smelled like Indian food.
I just don’t want to dip my private parts in curry.
Andy, however,didn’t think twice and spent every night after work in the hot tub.
Boys have different holes than girls.
That’s just science.
Then, the first month’s electricity bill came.
Andy decided we would never run the hot tub, ever again.
So, there it sat.
I need an office.
We can’t build right now.
We don’t have to build, we have a room.
I already told you, we can’t move the hot tub out of there, it’s too big.
So leave it in there.
Because, Brittany, I already know what’s going to happen. You’ll get this genius idea to type in the hot tub. And, then you will either drop your laptop in the water and it will break, or you’ll get electrocuted and die. And all that, plus the high electric bill from running it, is just too much.
I won’t drop anything in anything, and if I die, you can pay the electric bill with my life insurance money.
You don’t have life insurance.
How the fuck did that happen?
You work for the internet.
If I buy a life insurance policy, can I have a hot tub office?
So here it is, after weeks of sweat, tears, and three consecutive monthly insurance premium payments.
Hot Tub Office….Before.
Hot Tub Office…After.
Feels like home.
Plus, now I am in charge of the chemicals, so no one gets out the water and ends up pregnant with multiples or with staph.
UPDATE: Maybe I should, like, share some of the design details, yes?
Paint Color: Behr Blue Agave
Curtains: Each wall has THREE giant windows, so the room was like an oven during the day. Thick thermal curtains can ridiculously expensive, so to save money and cover the width, I used TWO fabric shower curtains on each wall. Find them here.
Desk: It’s a super affordable Sauder corner desk. They are made just a town over, and there is an outlet on site for discontinued items, so I got the $199 desk for $30. For. Reals.
Artwork: Guitar painting . The Pug painting & the colorful painting above the hot tub were from a flea market.
Giant Purple Bean Bag: The color was being discontinued, so I purchased it for cheap at Sofa Mart, but you can find them here.
Kids Table: I bought the table on clearance and spray painted it black, you can find it here.
The Adorable Midgets: They came with the house.